Would you save your pet or a stranger's child?

[NotADailyMailJournalist]

Hello all

Slightly inspired by another thread where posters were surprised that people were more interested in someone's dog than their baby...

If you have a cat/dog and you could only save it or a stranger's child/baby, what would you choose?

For the purposes of this thread, no-one would ever find out you'd been given the choice, so you wouldn't face any consequences.

Thanks

Same! If I'm at home - only place other than the vet my cats would be - no kid is going to be there, and any kid on the property would be visiting grandparents, so not my concern. Indeed I would be unlikely to know a child was around.

I wouldn't forgive myself if I did this to my dog. Not. A. Chance. A short life isn't worth less than a longer one either. Humans aren't all that fantastic.

Same. I feel the same about my cats. Interesting how PP have had to escalate the scenario by bringing public ostracism into it. That's hardly an indication of what people genuinely feel. Any guilt I had would be for failing the one I love and am responsible for, and that's not someone else's child.

Firstly there is no criminal liability in English law for failing to act. No one who failed to save a child in danger (save for when you have a form of responsibility/caregiver or you created the danger they are in) even if they were in to situation to, could not be held liable.

Secondly the bond created between human owner and dog is driven by exactly the same hormones as that created between caregiver/mother and infant. Oxytocin is a powerful chemical and arguably therefore the love an owner feels for a dog can be as strong as mother for child. Likely to be particularly strong in dog owners who don't have children

Instinct kicks in in such circumstances and that hormonal/chemical drive to protect the thing you are bonded with will be overwhelming. My dog will trigger that part of my brain far faster than a random child and then my next instinct would be to assume the child has someone looking out for them.

The socio/psychopath remarks made here about people who will merely act as their brain tells them in an emergency scenario are quite unpleasant and ignore that fact that humans react by pure instinct in such scenarios.

Yes I think my brain would zone in on the thing it knows is important to me in a scenario where I have seconds to think. My rational brain would then probably punish me for a lifetime given the fact humans think human life has sacrosanctity

Thank you, excellent points. Bonding is not limited to members of the same species. It's common between many types of animals. My cats mean far more to me than random unknown humans of whatever age. Threats of shaming and sanctions sound just like the sort of heartlessness of which various posters are accusing those who say they would save their beloved pets.

The whole "human life is sacred" in situations like this reminds me unpleasantly of the "humans have souls, animals do not, so don't matter" attitude people spouted for centuries.

They are excellent points and although I was aware of the oxytocin factor, I hadn't mentioned it as I thought I'd get totally chastised. But it is true. And my dog is with me all day every day, there isn't much I do without her. And she's done so much for me and meant my life can be so much more fulfilling, saving her over a random human would definitely be the case for me.

A lot of people seem to see not only humans as the superior species by means of speciesism and ignorance, but also forget that we're a product of evolution like any other animal. We're made of same stuff essentially. Of course I'd act on instinct in an emergency. I'm an animal. So are you.

But if you have a pet, you must have got it with the expectation that at some point it will die. When it does die, yes you will be upset and you may even think about it forever more, but your life won't be destroyed by it dying. If one of my dc died, I know I'd probably never be happy ever again and my life would be absolutely shattered.

My pets.

Before I had children I think I’d have picked my dog in all honesty 😬 I’m pretty sure my 19 year old would grab her little dog first if the situation presented itself.

I don't really understand the logic of this post:

Yes, of course you know your pet will die one day but that doesn't mean you'd be happy to let it die at say, six instead of twelve

My point is that those who proclaim they love their pets in the same way others love their children are wrong. They do not. They may love their pet but it is nothing like how a person loves their child. When the inevitable happens and their pet dies, their owners life won't actually be eternally destroyed by that death.

Your life would be different, not over or shattered. Never the same, but it goes on whether we want it to or not. Some people's lives may well be shattered by their pet dying if their pet is their baby. Of course pets die but it's more upsetting if it's premature and they are young.

Even in the event that is true (and I’m not sure how that can actually be measured), that doesn’t mean someone inclined to save their pets isn’t going to in the event they have the make a choice.

I would save my loved ones, human or animal, over a stranger no matter how old they were.

A pet is not a baby. If someone truly thinks their pet is their baby then I feel deeply sorry for them. But no, I will never accept that a pet dying is like a child dying. Never.

Child, always.

I love my dog, but christ, a human life will always trump
the life of an animal, especially a child.

Then again, my husbands aunt no longer speaks to me as she sold her house to try and save her dogs life (the treatment and operations were far higher than the insurance would cover). I told her she was crazy and no. She couldn’t come and live on my sofa because she had done it. The dog died a year after.

At that point, as much as I love my dog, I couldn’t justify getting myself into horrific debt or losing my and my children’s future security to give her a couple of years of life.

Don’t you just love it when a random person tells you how you would feel. 🤡

Actually one of my closest friends did lose a child and she would not be happy with you telling her that her life is ‘eternally destroyed’.

My child dying didn't eternally destroy my life permanently. Short term maybe. It damaged it irrevocably, but that's different. Some owners may experience the same damage losing an animal traumatically. I doubt many people end up in a position where they have to choose between an animal and a person anyway.

You don't know how you would feel and react if your child died. You might think you do, I did, but until it happens, you actually have no idea. It's much much worse and reaches into corners you didn't even know existed.

One of my family was unable to have children. As a result, their dogs are their children. They know they will get old and die and are prepared for that. An untimely death in particular would be traumatic and, for them, like losing a child.

I've found, since losing a child, that the death of pets is way more traumatic than it used to be. I relieve the loss and grief to a heightened degree every time.

Totally agree. Damaged, yes. Destroyed, no. Especially when you have other children, you get up and keeping going for them.

@Comedycook why are you claiming to know for certain how everyone else feels about death?

It sounds like they've never lost a child. Apologies to Comedycook if I'm wrong. If they ever did, and I hope they never do, they'd suddenly realise that they actually had no idea and their preconceptions about the experience were nothing like the reality.

It's her mo, very tedious.

Yes, that is what my friend says too. 💐

She actually found the people who thought like @Comedycook to be very judgemental too, they made her feel like she was not grieving in the ‘right’ way, like she wasn’t as ‘destroyed’ as she should have been in their ignorant opinion.

When I lost my child someone who had lost a child years before said that one day I would look back and see the gifts my child had given me. I wanted to clock them one (obviously didn't) but they were right. As much as I wouldn't choose to have lost my child, losing them has added some amazing things I otherwise wouldn't have likely ever had. Not worth it, but they are beautiful and truly gifts from my child.

Nothing worse than being judged for how you grieve. People who say they couldn't survive such a loss are also judgemental. Almost like they are suggesting they love their child more. I always tell them they'd survive because they have to for their other children. Then one day you look back and, in spite of the damage, you release that you are now actually living for yourself again too.

Thank you for your post. :-)

I'm not going to say how death feels for everyone. But no I don't for a minute believe the death of a pet can be anything like the death of a child. I've seen people in my family lose their children. They carry on with their lives, but they will never be the same again. I genuinely assumed vast majority of people would agree that losing a pet is nothing like losing a child.