What’s your strangest ‘wedding food’ related story

[CosyMosy]

Sorry, rubbish title! I was chatting today with a colleague about a wedding I went to last year. The wedding was at the church at 12pm and we were invited to a country club for the reception. We turned up at 1 to find the buffet laid out but not open. We were told it wasn’t opening till 4!! Everyone was starving and the only thing behind the bar was out of date crisps (that the bar was selling for 10pm cheaper because of 😅). When the buffet eventually opened at 4, the bride announced over the mic that we needed to make sure we only took 1 small plate each because it had to last for the night guests as well 😵‍💫. The takeaway down the road made a roaring trade that night

My colleague told me she once went to the wedding of her DH’s colleague, when they sat down for the wedding breakfast half the table were given menus with prices on. When they queried this, it turns out the bride and groom had made the decision to only pay for HALF of the guests meals and the other half were to order and pay for their own meal at the bar!

Something about weddings brings out the worst in people!

I went to a wedding in Cyprus last year. Cypriot portions are huge. We quickly learned that a starter was as big as a main in the UK, and you could live off a main for a week, and don't expect to manage all of three courses.

But at the wedding? Plates handed around of one of each measley item per person. One small feta parcel, one tablespoon of hummus, one slice of halloumi etc. One rather hideous lump of meat each from the grill. Sliced fruit for pudding.

The best bit? I was pregnant, had HG. Trapped there from 12-12. No other food served at the venue. Had vommed up my breakfast. Only thing I could keep down was the potatoes, and my share was two, plus my husband's.

The guy's brother had Greek food at his wedding this year, and it was bloody gorgeous, and there was heaps of it.

Oh I know what it could be! My parents went to a fancy wedding and when the meal came it was individual parcels wrapped in paper of fish and chips. Apparently it was very fresh and totally delicious! Similar to Kate winslet: didn’t she have bangers and mash?

Essex? I am certain groom's mum and dad no longer alive but bet the posh golf club is still going!! Groom's mum was formidable. There is no way she got that order wrong. So he thought he knew better. I volunteered recently one Christmas at an old people's home. Exactly the same served fish. Sorry I declined fish. What really upsets me is that Dad taught catering from the early 70s to all sorts. My Dad was pretty much vegetarian all of his life. So his students would have always known. So for a dick of a man in the 80s and then a different one in 2018 to claim the same is bollocks.

At our wedding I had someone come up and tell me that that beef was the best he’d ever eaten. I thanked him and failed to tell him it had been duck breast. He was happy…

Frazzles and haribo

I went to a wedding where the wedding 'cake' was a tier of pork pies. It was sliced io and served with mustard. Yummy!

First wedding we went to as an engaged couple, DH's uncle hated vegetables, so refused to have salads. Or even garnishes. Everything single dish was meat based. Chips and rice had gravy and / or meat mixed in. There wasn't even cheese or veg to make a random plate. As a veggie, I was STARVING! We sloped off to a Chippy (we'd driven for 4 hours to get there).
Second worst was a very posh wedding in Bedfordshire, where the veggie starter was grilled Cauliflower, main was plain Broccoli in puff pastry (without side vegetables/ potatoes /sauce despite them being served to the people having the very plentiful meat main) and an orange as dessert.
At our wedding, we had a Mexican buffet. 75% veggie, 25% meat, shit tons of sides, breads, chips and dips.
Plus bacon and sausage butties at midnight. (Veggie versions too)

We went to an 11.30am wedding and didn't get fed until 6pm. Middle of nowhere so no local shops or takeaways. Horrific.

One wedding had a buffet that had trays and trays of chicken coujons, a few bowl of crisps and one quiche (that went in about 30 seconds) . Dry, tasteless, texture of cardboard coujons. We kept expecting the venue to bring out the rest of the buffet . But no... just coujons and crisps.

This thread has reminded me I actually don’t like weddings.

I always forget until my shoes are killing me, I’m starving, my outfit is uncomfortable and we are seated at a table with people we don’t know and find boring while an old friend who now lives abroad and has flown in is seated way across the other side but has to leave early to fly home. Meanwhile the bride is staggering round looking weird in overdone make-up and spilling out of a dress that keeps threatening to disgorge her boobs over frail elderly relatives (and only looking half as nice as she looks in her jeans after a shower) and the groom looks like he’s seriously hoping she’s not going to expect him to consummate because his sister’s meltdown over the fact her little DD had to carry the flower bouquet that got sat on by the bride’s mum has given him a shocker of a migraine.

Oh look. Wow. A very clever person.

… then three years later the bride is on MN and everybody is saying LTB, your life will be so much better …

I’m pro marriage; but increasingly I think this should be something you do with immediate family and closest friends and just go to a fabulous restaurant where you can all afford to eat what you want.

NotAnotherPylon well it is!

Bride was 50 minutes late so the seafood platter had to be binned as it was sat out for 2 hours. We got 1 cup of tea and rock hard scones. It was so cold, it was raining and we were in a marquee up on the side of a mountain.

We got given mugs with our names on them in sharpie but the sharpie came off when the mug got hot so people were walking round with sharpie smudges on their faces.

The brides family left half way through to go an eat at a local restaurant, and came back 2 hours later. There was an open bar and everyone was beyond drunk.

Oh and their first dance was no woman no cry by bob Marley

I have no stories about bad or inadequate wedding food. All the weddings I have been to have had good food - and the buffets have actually been better than the posh sit down a (which have been good too). The last buffet wedding meal I went to had a cheese cake - and there was a LOT of it with not many biscuits to go with it - but I have noticed that if you have a cheese course at a restaurant there tends to be quite a lot of cheese for the amount of crackers.... and I am a small cheese to cracker ratio person, so I discount that. The buffet at that wedding was a bit roast (with a vegetarian option) so slices of freshly cooked pork and apple sauce in bread rolls - and plenty of it. Perfect for me!

@deviantfeline Unfortunately it genuinely was a mens and womens menu as we were told beforehand and it was written on the invitations 😅

Hah. Almost identical. I had a corset laced so tight that I couldn;t eat any of the food at our wedding either.

Couldn't you loosen the lacing to relax a little bit?

It didn't occur to me.

Wedding in posh venue with fake “bbq” they lit a bbq out of sight but where you could see/smell smoke then served up oven cooked food. Really nice venue, dried out bread rolls and greasy burgers. Surely a nice hot meal/roast dinner would have been nicer? Without the pretence

Brilliant!!!

My BIL wedding had ten courses. Serve yourself for each table except top table. About the first five were seafood and we were on top table. As was my hungry three year old. And my SILs husband who has a seafood allergy. And it was about 10pm when we got to start eating. Everyone else was tucking in and we had these teeny portions on elegant plates with a really hungry kid and someone who couldn't eat any of the food! Luckily we'd actually popped out for a cheeky McDs at about tea time so we weren't ravenous...

Sorry no story, just shocked about the food safety aspect of this. Food laid out at 1pm, not being served until 4pm, then staying out for evening guests. Chilled food should not sit out for more than four hours. 🤢

We went to a wedding around this time which was just canapés too, we were a bit panicky because we'd set off very early without breakfast for a long journey. Actually it was fine, the food just kept coming and coming and everybody had plenty to eat. It was really great, much better than most of the rubbish meals we had at weddings around that time.

A budget wedding in a scruffy old pub in the countryside nine miles from any kind of civilisation. Arrived at 1pm after travelling for four hours, there was no food not even canapés until 5pm. This was a cold salad buffet, which by the time my table went up, there was barely anything left other than a few slices of ham, french bread, cherry tomatoes and potato salad. Dessert was very stale chocolate wedding cake. Couldn't even leave early to go back to hotel as mini buses weren't booked until 11pm!

Why do people do this? Is catering an afterthought perhaps, the money spent on other things. You never forget bad wedding food!