What’s your strangest ‘wedding food’ related story

[CosyMosy]

Sorry, rubbish title! I was chatting today with a colleague about a wedding I went to last year. The wedding was at the church at 12pm and we were invited to a country club for the reception. We turned up at 1 to find the buffet laid out but not open. We were told it wasn’t opening till 4!! Everyone was starving and the only thing behind the bar was out of date crisps (that the bar was selling for 10pm cheaper because of 😅). When the buffet eventually opened at 4, the bride announced over the mic that we needed to make sure we only took 1 small plate each because it had to last for the night guests as well 😵‍💫. The takeaway down the road made a roaring trade that night

My colleague told me she once went to the wedding of her DH’s colleague, when they sat down for the wedding breakfast half the table were given menus with prices on. When they queried this, it turns out the bride and groom had made the decision to only pay for HALF of the guests meals and the other half were to order and pay for their own meal at the bar!

Something about weddings brings out the worst in people!

I've never had disastrous wedding food thankfully but I do remember one that went down very well and it was very simple! It was in a barn, the B&G not short of money but very 'hippie like', had the stepping over the broom thing and tying of ribbons for example which I thought was cute.

There was a long table in the middle of the room which from about an hour after we arrived at the reception, bridesmaids populated with huge bowls of curry and chilli to help yourselves to, that kept being refilled to keep hot, various pastas, different salads (green, couscous, quinoa etc), loads of breads, cheeses and crackers, all different types of every dish. Very simple food but plentiful, enjoyable and filling. It was left out and constantly refilled for a good few hours until nobody was getting up any longer which I thought was a good idea-sometimes I can eat and an hour later feel peckish if I've not eaten enough -especially if I've had wine .

Desserts came out afterwards and the cake was made to look like three tree stumps connected to one another, bride made it herself.

It illustrated to me how, from stories I have read on here and heard IRL, many of them about posh, expensive weddings where people have been fed measly portions or left for hours sitting/standing around starving and too drunk due to lack of nourishment, are just so unnecessary. As long as the food is decent enough and everyone's fed, you can have happy guests.

I was very happy as this was the wedding I mentioned upthread where there were several bottles of champagne on each small table. I was sitting at a table with just a friend who I had as a plus one as I was single at the time and didn't know many others there, and four strangers-ALL of whom didn't like champagne.
I do like champagne.

I once went to a 12pm wedding at a hotel, after the ceremony we were directed to a bar area for drinks and canapés, unfortunately there were not enough to go around.
We had to wait for an obscene amount of time, before being guided to the main hall. There was no table plan so we all took a seat, bizarrely, there was no tableware?! Waiting staff offered everyone a glass of fizz. Bride and groom were seated at the top table, after which a very long set of speeches commenced.
Once complete, we were ushered back into the small bar area whilst the tables were rearranged. Sometime later, we were allowed back into the main hall where the seating had been set up to allow the dance floor to take priority.
We are now hitting 5pm, no one had eaten. It turns out they didn’t fancy feeding the guests and thought they would just do a hot buffet in the evening to accommodate everyone!!!
No mention of this at any point in the planning (we were close friends). At this point, most of the guys had decided to go out into the local town to get something to eat.
Unsurprising the wedding didn’t last, the bride ran off with her friends husband.

When my brother married he and his bride were very young and consequently a lot of their guests were too. The reception was a buffet in a hall belonging to a pub. This was 8 miles away from the church. We, having had all the photos taken, arrived to find out that the buffet had been eaten by about 15 boys who couldn’t be bothered to wait. The bride and groom were very upset and my mum and the brides mum ended up going to the Spar shop across the road and making sandwiches for the guests. Luckily they hadn’t touched the wedding cake.

Ceebeegee it’s goujons

We had a small do-it-yourself wedding as it wasn't the first one for either of us. Just 40 guests, all close family. In a very nice but completely uncatered or serviced hall. I hired 2 friends of friends to set the food out, heat what needed to be heated up, clear plates and wash up. I cooked in advance, and we had slow cookers to keep the hot food hot once it was thoroughly heated. I cooked boeuf bourguinon, there was sliced cold chicken and ham, some vegetarian quiches, grated cheese, loads of salads, baked potatoes, crusty rolls. Mixed mini desserts (bought from the cash and carry) and wedding cake. We provided loads of tea and coffee and various wines and ciders to go with the meal as there was no bar.

We had a humanist wedding at 11.30, short and sweet, photos after, and then the meal. There was masses of food and plenty of choice. It was basically a big family celebration so no dancing or music and no huge amounts of booze, but plenty to go with the food. It was really relaxed and we both enjoyed it - there were no unrealistic expectations. Anyone who wanted to could go off and celebrate in one of the local pubs afterwards without us. This was in 2017, including my wedding dress and my DHs new suit, the hire of the venue, the cost of staff, decorations and all the food and drink it cost us about £750.

I know a lot of people won't consider it a proper celebration without music and dancing and a LOT of booze, but it was perfect for us. And there were NO complaints about the food!

I've been to a few weddings where the wait between the ceremony and eating was a good 6 or 7 hours. Not even canapés. People were nipping out to get maccy ds or sandwiches. These things really need to be though through!

A few years ago now my DH & I went to a wedding - ceremony at 12, bus to another location for reception. Approx 200 people. The Wedding ‘breakfast’ was a small box containing a modest ‘afternoon tea’ type thing. We assumed this was the prelude to a hot meal later on in the evening so didn’t think much of it. Nope, that was pretty much it. Later on they brought out a few catering sized toasters & bags of bagels and invited guests to cook their own! Not any old bagels mind you. Rainbow bagels. The whole thing was fucking weird and people were going out for takeout!

Afternoon tea as wedding breakfast can be very stingy indeed, if you're not first in the queue for the scones. Factor in any dietary requirements and you have a bunch of hungry people at the bar pleading for crisps.
The nicest one I went to was the ceremony of a young Christian couple on a budget. They knew lots of people from their church would attend the service, and there were home made cakes for everyone in the church hall afterwards before the formally invited guests went off to the reception. So everyone got to share a little in the celebrations, and nobody got hangry waiting for the photos to be over. And it was much more generously catered than the afternoon tea debacle I was invited to a couple of years later.

My BIL and SIL had a sort of afternoon tea for their wedding reception, but they did it absolutely right, @ArabellaFishwife - but the scones were enormous, and there were more than enough for twice the number of guests - plus cake. No-one went home hungry.

Afternoon tea as wedding breakfast can be very stingy indeed, if you're not first in the queue for the scones. Factor in any dietary requirements and you have a bunch of hungry people at the bar pleading for crisps.

Shame that was your experience. I've been to two weddings that had afternoon tea for the Reception. Both were absolutely lovely. No-one queued for scones and they were brought to the table, and then the catering staff were replenishing sandwiches, cakes, and scones as plates were emptied.
Just like whenever I have been for an afternoon tea, and have ended up taking cakes home in a box, both times I've had afternoon tea at a wedding, the food was plentiful, by no means stingy, and were both very, very nice indeed. No-one could possibly have gone home hungry. Like all professional caterers, allergies were catered for I believe.

The nicest one I went to was the ceremony of a young Christian couple on a budget. They knew lots of people from their church would attend the service, and there were home made cakes for everyone in the church hall afterwards before the formally invited guests went off to the reception. So everyone got to share a little in the celebrations, and nobody got hangry waiting for the photos to be over. And it was much more generously catered than the afternoon tea debacle I was invited to a couple of years later.

I've been to several of these after Church services. It makes so much sense. A cuppa and a cake after the service, for those going to the Reception and those who have just come to support the couple at the service. Staves off the hunger before the meal and means you don't need to be ripped off by caterers for canapes and means everyone is a bit more comfortable whilst waiting around whilst photos are being taken. Is an enormously sensible development.

I went to a wedding where the meal was afternoon tea and there was so much we couldn't finish it! Admittedly it was put in the centre of each table and our table had two people with dietary requirements ( who got their own plate) and my then 2 year old who ate barely anything, but pretty sure there would've been plenty even if everyone had been eating it.

Two spring to mind:

The first, a wedding that tried to be very posh but sort of fell short. They didn't offer any choice of sit down meal but there were two different options according to which sex you were. To add insult to injury the "men's" meal was much fancier than the "women's"

Men: roast beef and all the trimmings followed by chocolate gateux and cream.
Women: plain chicken breast, boiled potatoes and carrots followed by a single scoop of ice-cream.

The second:

my friends hired a company that advertised themselves as an adventurous BBQ company.
they advertised all sorts of exotic meats including kangaroo, ostrich, crocodile as well as lots of sauces and sides, we were all intrigued.
when it came to the day there were pork sausages, beef burgers, bread rolls and limp lettuce leaves and that was it.
i'm not sure whether i could have brought myself to actually eat crocodile but still I was upset for my friends who were royally ripped off!

Re the men's versus women's menu

I would have forsaken my principles and identified as a man that day.

Ridiculous!

See this sounds like a B&G stunt. I'd love to hear what the venue thought!

These 'men's and women's' menus are you sure they aren't 'alternate drop'? It's the standard approach in NZ and Australia. Usually one is a chicken or fish with lighter veggies and the other is a heavier red meat with potatoes and they are alternately dropped in front of people on a table and it's up to each plate owner to find someone who wants to swap if they would prefer something different.
Unfortunately they tend to orchestrate it so the waiters drop the red meat to the men assuming seating is m/f/m/f etc. maybe the B&G thought it hilarious that they call it 'his and hers' or something twee.

@deviantfeline Yes, 100% sure as it was written on the invitation as 'men's' and 'women's' menu.

That is absolutely awful, @TheBirdintheCave- I cannot imagine doing that, or even thinking that would be a good idea.

At an otherwise excellent Chinese wedding banquet in Singapore, one of the courses was a slice of slimy, orange sea cucumber. It wasn’t just the taste, the texture was so vile, none of us Brit guests could get it down - there was a lot of surreptitious transferring to tissues and bags.
The bride told us later that nobody really likes it, but it’s traditional. And having seen the shape of live sea cucumbers in the wild - (my young nephew would have said ‘big fat willy’ - his favourite insult at about 8) - I would guess they’re a fertility symbol!

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius We were all confused as to why they thought it was a good idea. If there were two choices they could have just asked which one we wanted on the RSVP 🤷🏻‍♀️

DH and I went my best friend wedding about 5 years ago.

Firstly it was freezing - in barn, end of March. When the food finally came it it's was cold meats, olives and a bit of bread. Being a veggie I had some bread - don't like olives.

We weren't too worried as we thought it was the starters and we'd enjoy the main, but no - that was it!! Literally nothing else! That evening there were pulled pork baps - I just had the bap with some crisps from behind the bar.

We laugh about it now, but we were baffled and ravenous!

@Allthehorsesintheworld edible sand was a bit of a thing a few years back. Heston Blumenthal created it for his sounds of the sea dish that comes with a recording of the sea on an MP3 player to enhance the experience 😂 It’s made from ground fried panko breadcrumbs, waffle cones, seaweed and dried fish plus a lot of ingredients you’ve never heard of 😂 The original is pretty good but I’ve had a few bad imitations that were all about style rather than taste. I’ve also had sweet versions, which were basically a very fine crumble or cookie crumbs.

These are the worst types of wedding food stories!

I can't imagine how anyone would think it okay to leave your guests hungry, and cold! There's plenty of ways to feed people, even on a tight budget-it doesn't have to be gourmet style, plenty of people of all backgrounds just want good 'normal' food at an event, especially while drinking alcohol.