Jane Austen's men. Who's top of the slap list?

[CurlewKate]

Not the obvious ones, like Mr Collins or Walter Elliott, but the slightly less obvious ones. At the moment, mine are:

Sir Thomas Bertram
James Moreland (although he is such a wonderful, completely timeless character!)
John Dashwood.

Wickham in P&P.
Sorry OP, I know you said "not obvious ones" but he is a grade A scoundrel who had a penchant for underage girls (Georgiana Darcy and Lydia B) 🫤
Right at the top of my slap list!

Mr Bennett. Totally checked out of his family.

Frank Churchill - Jane Fairfax deserved so much better than that selfish, self-absorbed git.

Sir Walter Elliot in Persuasion. A vain, bigoted prig of a man.

This

I think Wickham is deserving of more than a "slap list"-but I see your point!

John Thorpe in Northanger Abbey. I know he's obvious, but he's just so slappable; manipulative but not even clever enough to be very good at it. I love that he's a boy racer as well - so in character. These days he'd be following Andrew Tate and describing himself as an alpha.

He's a grade-A bastard, absolutely, but I'm just pointing out that although Georgiana and Lydia are minors (you couldn't marry without parental consent until the age of 21), they're not 'under-age' in the sense of legally unable to consent to sex. The age of consent, appallingly, was 12 in Regency England.

My 'minor asshole in Austen' award goes to John Thorpe in Northanger Abbey, with General Tilney as the more obvious villain.

X-post!

This is true -- he's a prat, and Emma (and even Austen to an extent) let him off the hook. Knightley does disapprove, though.

I've always thought casting Euan McGregor as the preening git was inspired in the adaptation with Gwyneth Paltrow.

I'm glad to find other John Thorpe appreciators. He's a completely timeless character. I often think that it shows Austen had brothers....I bet he was modelled on a friend....

Edmund Bertram - mooning around after that woman who's playing him like a fish AND to the woman of solid worth and integrity (even if she is a prig) who's in love with him.

Captain Benwick - Lydia's a rebound girl and Captain Harville can see it. Three years and Benwick's going to find he and Lydia have nothing in common.

And Thomas Bertram for being a complete waste of space.

Colin Farrell is top of the 💕 list though.

But also Henry Tilney in Northanger Abbey. He is SO patronising to Catherine and is clearly laughing at her behind her back half the time.

Joan Aiken's (rather good) sequel Mansfield Revisited reforms Tom and marries him to Fanny's sister Susan.

I do agree that Edmund is a wet lettuce and prig -- I always find myself imagining him as a Regency version of St John Rivers.

If Mr Bennett were rewritten for 2024 he'd have an expensive bike or five, a job far too demanding to parent his children and Mrs Bennett would have MN thread after thread answered with "You have a DH problem".

And probably a cross-dresser, given his alarmingly detailed knowledge of muslins?

Yes, but he looked great in his officer gear and rode a horse well.

Austen never sold Jabe Fairfax to.me. I thought Frank Churchill was too good for her.

Grrr, there's another pompous prig. I bet he never understood why Jane didn't fall at his feet sobbing with gratitude when he proposed.

Susan is a great cameo character.

Mr Knightly.

Smug.

Can I respectfully submit Mr Woodhouse in Emma? Hypochondriac, old before his time, monopolises the time and energy of all the women around him with his entirely unnecessary and self-centred fussing and faffing, tries to gaslight his daughters into believing they too are frail and anxious creatures, unable to have any kind of life of their own separate from him and his needs, and eventually emotionally blackmails Mr Knightly into abandoning his own home to come and be at his beck and call too, and into thinking this is some kind of lucky break, what a player

I always thought Frank Churchill would be a way better husband than Mr Knightly. Mr Knightly entirely lacked a sense of humour.

I can never get out of my head the comment I saw years ago - that Knightley has known Emma so long he was practically changing her nappies.

Mr Woodhouse - either an egotistical monster (albeit a quiet one) who uses his invalidism to control his family or has debilitating anxiety, can't work out which.