Today I found out my husband had sent a text to my mother behind my back, basically berating her for asking me to look after her cat while I was recovering from a C-section. I found out from my mum who had been sitting on this for 3 months. I was horrified. It made her feel awful and really upset her and I had no idea. Was asking me to look after her cat (literally 10 mins in the house once every two days) when my newborn was two weeks old a good idea? Probably not. But my mum doesn't have anyone else to depend on. My husband drove me there that day, with our middle child and newborn in tow. He sat in the car with them while I disappeared to take care of the cat. Our newborn daughter cried while I was in there and instead of picking her up and soothing her, he took a photo of our middle child with his hands over his ears and sent this rude message to my mum. I'm disgusted. When I brought this up to him today, he said "it was to make a point." I'm completely horrified on multiple accounts.
He and my mum have always had a bit of tension between them. She finds him rude. Common courtesy often eludes him with her and why? Because apparently she still owes him £500 from 2010. She's probably forgotten, and it was from a time when she had very little. She's not much better off now. He said he'd tried being nice to "get what he wanted" and when that didn't work he decided to start treating her with contempt. He also has an issue with her not helping us more with our kids. I made the point she has helped us the most out of everyone. His dad who hasn't bothered with his grandchildren and clearly has favourites among his own children - he's chummy with him because he stands to gain significant inheritance - from his father who abused him as a child.
This is so F'd up.
There are other things too. He's so hard on our eldest and he's starting to treat our middle son the same, but the baby can do no wrong. He treats me like a queen to the detriment of everyone else...I'm tired of having to explain this behaviour to him. He always says he'll do better, but to leopards ever really change their spots?
I've considered leaving him many times over our 13 years together, this could be the straw that breaks the camels back. He's not a bad guy but he's seriously flawed and thinks everyone else is the problem. I'm exhausted. I strongly suspect he's on the autism/ADHD spectrum too. It's just such a shame, we're great friends.