Anyone know any compulsive liars?

[CompulsiveReader]

I joined one of the Mumsnet "due in X" groups and we have a WhatsApp chat which is lovely but there's one woman who comes out with the most unbelievable tales.

She tells these long stories with a lot of "she said this, then I said that, so she said this and I said that" just super detailed. The stories themselves are on the boundary of something that might possibly have happened on a weird day but the level of detail is just so high and screams liar to me. I noticed that the stories generally have the theme of people noticing something mildly unusual or impressive about her/her kids and making a big deal of it or else it's someone you wouldn't expect to pay you any attention (celebrity etc) having conversations with her.

I don't know why she does it though, nobody in the group ever really comments on or reacts to her stories, I suspect we all think they are lies (or at least heavily embellished).

Ultimately it doesn't affect me, I find it a little annoying but mostly amusing. But why does she do it?! Is this a thing that people do? Please share your stories of compulsive or suspected compulsive liars. I have never come across anyone like this before.

A compulsive liar causes harm - this lady is a storyteller, ‘shaggy dog stories’ as they say in America

Big shot-ism. She sounds like a narc to me

A cousin of mine. It's usually healthy related, she's supposedly had every major condition imaginable and is always waiting for surgeries and procedures that never actually happen. But like the person you mentioned, she makes up stories about things that you know haven't happened.

Even when you were present for what actually happened she will tell her heavily embellished version to other people, right in front of you. I've started calling her out on it.

@SOxon I've never heard that term. Does it imply a fake/embellished story?

@Alwaysalwayscold interesting. How does she react when you call her out? It's such strange behaviour.

A former friend. Having learned a lot about narcissistic personality disorder in the last few years, I believe he had it. The grandiose pathological lying is part of it. It was a bit like a small child's tall tales but I think he genuinely believed himself.

It's extremely awkward but quite funny. She will either just completely ignore the fact that you've said she's lying and continue on with her story, or she'll start a new tangent (lie) which explains the fact that she saw/did/ heard something completely different.

@rainbowbee That’s it. I know one. Had a rough childhood. Now a lot is embellished to create an image of wealth. Got to be the best. The kid has got to be the best. Sure she believes it all. Everywhere she goes people big her up (they don’t) Everyone wants to be her (they don’t). Damaged personality

My ex lied about stupid meaningless things.

For example he went into a shop once and bought some liquorice all sorts.

He had a whole conversation with the cashier about how they were for his pregnant daughter who had a weird craving for liquorice.

His daughter wasn't pregnant - he just thought it was childish to want a bag of sweets so he felt he had to make something up 😕

It was super weird. He would tell lies like this all the time. I think he was a narcissist and just cared to the extreme what people thought of him, even inconsequential strangers.

Yep, there's one at my work. Bought a brand new car at Christmas, nobody's seen it yet, he arrives by bus or taxi, says it's still being 'souped up' at the garage 6 months later. Took his girlfriend to the Maldives on holiday, there and back in 5 days off work. Many others.

Absolute bullshitter and I don't believe a single word that leaves his mouth. Funnily enough he tells his tall tales to colleagues he's got pegged as too gullible / non-confrontational to question him.

I actually know a woman who is always bragging that she owns/has owned several top class businesses, and has managed others, making ''millions'' a year, flown first class all around the world, met every famous person etc. etc. when in reality she's 100% unemployed and scrounging handouts ... the job centre not only branded her as unemployable and cut off all her benefits because she refused to go for all job/course interviews and so on but have also banned her!

She's never worked even one day in her 40 years on this planet, paid or voluntary even though she's physically and mentally able but she still tells every new people she meets about her celebrity rich lifestyle! She's NEVER owned/managed any businesses at all, never done any of the above and she's never flown as she's never had a passport!

She's just THE most exceptionally lazy person I've ever met in all of my 59 years!

My own mother she will lie to you or about you to others she would lie to a stone in the road.
My ex he was the same as my mother constant lie's.

A woman I used to work with. Apparently her boyfriend was a multimillionaire with a yacht that they spent every weekend on and then sailed it to the South of France in the summer. She never had photos though, he always forgot to give them to her.

Former colleague of mine would do it all the time, telling me she’d really put someone in their place not realising I could hear the convo and it had been pretty neutral etc. After I left that workplace we remained in contact and she’d be messaging all the time telling stories where she was again the main character. The only thing that stopped her slightly was when she realised that I was still in contact with another mutual friend and she twigged we could be discussing what she was telling us (she was right! We had both seen straight through her and were comparing notes the whole time!).

A current colleague claimed he can’t lie, when actually he’s the biggest bull shitter in the company. Either he’s deluded or lying about that too!

Well I don’t know them personally but do harry and Megan count?

My ex was like this. He personally knew more than every teacher he ever had, has done many death defying feats, has worked with anyone famous you can think of and more recently is a better parent than me, despite only meeting his child a handful of times in her lifetime.
He's fucking amazing.

@TheDumpling I would have such a lot of fun with that person.

😂😂 absolutely!

I can't tell if this woman believes her own stories. It's such a weird thing. Fascinating really. I wonder what she's like in real life. Probably quite tiresome. Whenever I mention her to my mum my mum will always say my grandad was the same. He'd come out with these long stories that were blatantly untrue (having a conversation with Prince Charles!) and he'd repeat them every time she saw him. She hated it!

Someone at uni was a compulsive liar. He would lie about being rich, making all kinds of ridiculous claims. He didn't stop even after everyone figured out he was lying, he just kept on bullshitting. Was quite amusing at the time but in hindsight is a bit sad.

I teach two children who lie compulsively. They both have complex backgrounds involving trauma, neglect, social services, fostering, adoption etc. Lovely kids. One more obviously a complex and manipulative character. The other just seems to have no stopping point between truth and fiction. The lies are continuous, mostly harmless and completely gratuitous. Sometimes mere fillers when no one else is talking. And some are such tall tales that they are not even slightly believable, but they are said in a completely straight faced way. It’s been a very interesting experience.

Yes, a psychiatric nurse of all things who I used to work with. She painted herself as the hero of every (made up) situation, as a person of peerless intelligence who had so many degrees that a university wanted to name a building after who, as the best friend forever of all her bosses (none of whom gave a shit about her), as somebody who had done every job ever and been to every place ever. Unfortunately she was also extremely vindictive and malicious and would make up devastating lies about people for no reason whatsoever e.g. that they were a drug addict/a child abuser/dangerously negligent in their job/having an affair with her. Not an ounce of truth in any of it. I am constantly surprised that nobody hit her in the head with a blunt instrument as tbh she was ruining people's lives with her toxic shit and must have told evil lies about dozens of different people. Put it this way - if she ever ended up murdered, there would be about 70 prime suspects. Absolute monster of a woman. And somehow a mental health nurse!

Dated briefly someone like this. In his case father died young, poor background, very poor health, terrible inferiority complex. His Mum used to boast that she was the only one he would never lie to, such was their bond.

Yeah. That was a lie too.😄

My ex husband was a pathological liar. Over many years I was able to read the very small signals in his face when he was doing it. It was so ridiculous. I also have a friend who does it. It's not malicious and I think it's because he has a huge lack of self esteem. He also has a quite severe ADHD. These stories just roll off his tongue and I know they're all nonsense so I just make the right noises. It seems very stressful to feel you have to live like that!

Growing up I could lie my way out of and into any situation. As an adult I don’t need to but I guess I could if I found myself in a sticky situation.

I'd say it's a form of attention seeking. I think a lot of people get obsessed with being funny or popular online or in groups and then they do embellish things. When the mild embellishments get some interest, they feel the need to push the credibility boundaries further with another story.
I think it's different from someone who's a massive narcissist or psycho, trying to ruin people's lives. It's just insecurity really.

Ask of these Pele that you are all moving and ridiculing are very likely mentally unwell and or have personality disorders. To general people it is tall tales and they are stupid but can you honestly imagine what it's like to feel so worthless and b empty that you have to fabricate all of these lies just to get some tiny crumbs of attention? Is incredibly sad really. Even knowing they will be caught out, they carry on as their self worth is so very low they have to live in their own fantasy land.

But yes they can cause no end of damage. It's a shame the mental health services are so on their knees.