Who pays what?

[MotherOfOlafs]

Couple A have a voucher for a very nice seafood restaurant that was given to them as a gift, it’s for £100. They want to treat themselves to a platter for £75 because why not.

Couple A have invited good friends couple B to join them. Couple A will pay for their own food and put the rest towards whatever couple B order, so around £15-20 after accounting for soft drinks.

Couple B have asked if couple A will use the voucher then whatever is left to pay is split between both couples equally.

Couple A think that on one hand it’s their voucher so their items are covered, but on the other hand they did invite couple B to join them.

Which is the best option?

Choke.

In our friendship group we all pay for what we order. It would be weird to do anything else except in the exception that it was someone's birthday, in which case someone may buy them a drink or offer to pay for their food in lieu of a gift.

Inviting them to a specific and very expensive restaurant because you have a voucher is inevitably going to lead to them thinking you are treating them. If you were just getting together as friends you’d be planning the venue together.

Also if you’re planning on a £75 platter I don’t think you should expect £25 change unless you plan on drinking tap water and not leaving a tip. Realistically you’re looking at nothing left at all.

I don’t think couple B are cheeky for wanting clarity up front. I wouldn’t be able to afford to visit a restaurant like that & would need to understand the arrangement.

The way this is written it feels like you are Couple B. If you are you don't have to go, and would probably be better if you didn't as it appears you feel aggrieved by Couple A's kind offer of allowing you the difference.

Yes, absolutely this.

Disinvite couple B

I think you should put the voucher towards the cost of the whole meal. It is a bit weird inviting them when you have a voucher and expecting them to pay. We would have just gone and enjoyed the voucher by ourselves but as you have already invited them you should share it

The voucher is a gift for couple A, so couple A should spend it on themselves. If couple B don’t want to pay for their meal, then couple B shouldn’t go

Couple A should uninvite Couple CF

And maybe this is the key point, if the restaurant is outside the means of couple B then maybe a consideration should be made in terms of sharing the voucher (not necessary but a nice gesture) but if it is normal for both couples to go to a very nice seafood restaurant and couple B can easily afford it then couple B are being unreasonable and a bit grabby.

Personally I’d use the voucher to cover the meals and split the rest.

I wouldn’t invite someone to join and then do the whole ‘this is my voucher’ thing, but understand some people are ‘this gift is mine therefore it should all be spent on me’

To me , ‘hey I have a voucher for a nice restaurant would you like to join us ‘ sounds like the voucher would be used on the booking or an invite.

personally I’d feel my invite implied I would be treating the guests.

I’m not trying to argue just find it amusing how differently everyone sees things.

personally, I wouldn’t count the voucher as a spend if I was using it, but if a friend used one I’d offer to pay the remainder

I think it all depends on context: if you'd said "let's go to X restaurant, because I've got a voucher", couple B might have got the impression you were sharing.

I'd be inclined to either (a) use the voucher another day when it's just me and DH; or (b) share it (and hopefully couple B do something nice back one day).

Yes: platter for £75 plus some soft drinks is easily £85. Add 15% service and it's over £97... that's without getting into bread, coffee, etc

Completely depends on the friendship dynamic. We generally have the dynamic that who organises a dinner and invites others pay. It all balances out amongst us and it seems to be all fairly even.

Every group is different though.

It does seem odd to invite another couple out so you can use a voucher but they will be paying though. Do they even like the restaurant, would they go there if they had their choice?

Personally, if I had a voucher, I would ask for the value to be taken off the bill and then the balance split. I'm generally not a "let's just split it" person and have ruffled feathers by standing up to CF Bill Splitters at work events, but I think it looks miserly to insist on covering every penny of your own meal while others pay more. I appreciate that the voucher is a gift to be enjoyed by the recipient but I'd just view it as spending it on a nice evening with friends.

However, I wouldn't expect that scenario if I was in the position of Couple B, and would never, ever ask. They sound rude and entitled. I would go to the dinner expecting to pay for my own meal and any portion covered by the voucher would be a nice bonus.

Easy solution is to just go twice - once with them and pay as normal, then alone and use the voucher. Personally I'd never expect someone's present be it voucher or cash to pay part of my costs.