Ex judges so much .

[Toejam24]

Ex judged /slagged of my teen son for being gay.

Judged teen son for his mental health issues/his struggles.

Judged/slagged my DD for her mental heath issues and her DV situation.

Judged slagged GS over his special needs.

Won't expect that our son has autism and learning difficulties.

His GS was being bullied at school. Ex said what's he expect with long hair like a girl. His gs was getting in trouble at school. And he ended up blurting out that he thinks he's gay he hates himself amd wants to die . This was said at school sivhas triggered a CAMHS referral . Apprently ex has had a chat with him and he's ok now.

In the past he's told me he hates my child. He's also told me he hates his GS.

Obviously thank fuck he's an ex . But im wondering is he a really nasty person ? Is it that he just does not understand. Could he have some type of special needs himself.

Everyone in his family thinks the sun shines out of his arse . He has a lovely heart will do anything for anyone

Would he effect our children we have together. They are I primary school one has autism and learning difficulties.

Are these serious questions? Do you really think he’s such a level of additional needs he doesn’t know how not to be a nasty judgemental bigot. Only you know this.

It was very hard to write /explain . I was just trying to think from different angles .

I just wanted people thoughts really.

I can't really stop him from Seeing the 2.kids we have together.

I think I might just end up hiding the thread within a few replies it's been misunderstand. The first replies normally set the tone of the thread. Abd the tone does not feel very nice and I could do without it.

What? You described a nasty bigot. And then asked us if he’s maybe additional needs. How ever would we know. We haven’t met him.

Your ex is just a cunt.
HTH.

No you have just picked a small bit out . I said could it be that he's just a nasty . Could there be some sort of special needs . I was trying to think From different angles. That does not mean how he is . Is ok it means im just trying to work out why he's that way .

Why don't you go and order your thoughts, put it all down on paper, have your dinner then reread the paper and see if it makes sense.

Thank you for the suggestion. But I find it hard to put things down on paper. So it won't make any difference thank you though.

He has not got a lovely heart, he has a twisted and dark thing in its place. Coincidentally, I'm watching an old Arena documentary about Armisread Maupin, a well known writer and gay man. Your confused children might be helped by watching it on BBC iplayer. As for your ex, keep it that way. Too much confusion in your house.

He doesn't have a lovely heart as he refuses to accept his children for who they are. I'm unclear as to what additional need would cause him to be homophobic and disablist? He's abusive.

My children who are gay are not confused . They know there's no problem its not hidden at home or anything like that. They 100% know he's the issue . I just don't understand why he is the way he is. I definitely know he's not got a kind heart others seem to think so though.

I do worry about the younger 2 though. I guess I just keep telling them people can be who they want to be. Maybe things will change as they get older

Oh and 100% he's not gonna be in my home

It's quite likely that he was brought up in a home where he learned both his beliefs and his behaviour. But you don't need to know why he's like he is. You know what he is. Don't allow your children to become like him.

Thinking about it probably..

Definitely won't be like him.

Yes he sounds sunshine and rainbows.......(not)

He sounds awful, nasty people can hide who they really are to other people and reveal themselves at home (it's harder to keep up the nice act).

Just be relieved that's hes your ex and don't worry what others might think. Hopefully one day they will see it too.

I think he hides it at home to . Or at least he's not pulled up on it. As you say not my problem.

Just think how happier you are shot of him. Let others think whatever they want.

And I don't think he has special needs he's just an asshole, and homophobic

Very true. That's what they will do anyway.

It's a bit sad really because I used to show him ds reports about his autism and learning difficulties. Abd he would read it and throw strops over it . So I stopped showing him or telling him anything. Now he has no idea about his own sons needs or struggles

It really is sad. Instead of being supportive he's made it about himself and therefore loses out on relationship with his son. Completely his loss. Sounds like you are both better off without him. Unfortunately not everyone is cut out to be a parent. And it sounds like he's quite a hateful/angry person in general.

Problem is ds is only 9. Has the autism and learning difficulties. So I can't stop the relationship. I just have to hope ds does not take anything to heart . And knows he's awesome and hopefully his peers /friends and other family will out weigh how his father is.

I feel for you, he sounds like my ex!

My children grew up and we collectively told him we were done with him.

In hindsight we could have done it years earlier. He never had the balls to take it to court.

Ah I get you now. Must be really difficult in that situation. Have you seeked advice?

You need to be careful with this because he’s not taking care of your child properly if he’s not acknowledging his disability. It can be really damaging. For my DD she was constantly overstimulated and then told off for crying, threatened to be sent to sit in the car, etc. instead of giving her a cuddle and reassuring her at the very least.