Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Neighbour blocking access and being threatening

58 replies

FinallyFinalGirl · 26/05/2024 19:18

Hi I wonder if someone can help? A couple of weeks ago, my uncle, who is an elderly farmer, told me that one of the gates he uses to access my field, which he rents, was being blocked by two women living in the house on the other side of the lane. They had put a boulder down. So my husband went over and one of the women explained she didn't want the farmer to drive a trailer into her drive, but there was still access for a tractor.

My uncle moved the boulder out the way, as the lane had been used by him for over twenty years and that was his preferred gate (there are other gates to the fields he can use).

That evening, the woman told us she and another man had put the boulder back, and this man had also put a car alongside the gate, blocking full access now. He also damaged my gate.

This man owns field the lane ends in, so he uses it to access his field, the women use it to access their house and my uncle, until now, had used it to access my field. This lane had once been part of an old public road.

This man is maintaining he owns the lane - it has always been used by different people with NO mention of anyone owning it. My u cow talked to him but the man threatened to beat him up, leaving my uncle very shaken.

He pulled a gun on his own brother once and is considered violent - I've heard a lot of scary stories about him so further discussion with him is out of the question. He lives a little further down the main road so it feels like he is doing this to my uncle for fun.

Does anyone have any advice? We are in NI - would a solicitor be able to check deeds and the registry to see if he is, as we suspect, lying about owning the lane?

Hopefully the diagram will appear. Yellow marks are the gates. Sorry this is so long!!!

Neighbour blocking access and being threatening
OP posts:
AliceOlive · 28/05/2024 13:53

Yes, I’d call the police right away and report the threats and also the blocked right of way. It seems incredibly unlikely that a lane used as access for 20 years is actually private.

FinallyFinalGirl · 28/05/2024 14:18

My uncle phoned the police to report the threats - I'm not sure what the update is there. My uncle has four strapping sons and I wish they would show their faces - not to intimidate but just to remind that disgusting man he isn't picking on an eighty year old who's alone.

That's how he got the field in the first place - made a beeline for a very vulnerable, lonely farmer. He's a bully - that is absolutely right.

OP posts:
FinallyFinalGirl · 28/05/2024 14:19

AliceOlive · 28/05/2024 13:53

Yes, I’d call the police right away and report the threats and also the blocked right of way. It seems incredibly unlikely that a lane used as access for 20 years is actually private.

There was never any fuss about it before - I checked an old map and we had another access further down the lane that was marked on the map.

OP posts:
FinallyFinalGirl · 28/05/2024 14:21

@Theredoubtableskins yes I can't say for definite he wasn't on their drive. I know I wouldn't like it so I can't blame them for being concerned. I just wish they hadn't been so passive aggressive with the boulder - it just got everyone's backs up.

OP posts:
FinallyFinalGirl · 12/06/2024 16:40

Hi everyone. Just a little update for anyone who might be interested.

I saw the solicitor and got hold of the deeds. It turns out - just found out this morning - that I have shared ownership of the lane. I own the half next to my field...the vile man who threatened my uncle owns the other half. The concrete boulder is still there....on my part of the lane so my property. They haven't moved it despite being asked to clear it away, but that was when we thought it was public or the man owned it all.

My solicitor can't send letters on my behalf as she represented one of them before so there is conflict. I'm waiting to hear back from another solicitor.

Thanks again to everyone who helped me. You were all very much appreciated.Flowers

OP posts:
unbelieveable22 · 12/06/2024 20:20

Thank you for your update. Good luck going forward.

FinallyFinalGirl · 22/06/2024 06:57

Hi again - another update. The vile man has now locked my gate completely - he welded on a kind of metal loop thing that means the double gate can't open. I called the police but they said as he hasn't damaged the gate, there is nothing I can do. If I remove it, he can do me for criminal damage.

I recorded him doing it...he saw me and shouted 'Fuck off! Do you want a ride, you fucking slut'?

He is so horrible.....neighbours say he is a drug addict. I have children and don't want him around....he even went to an elderly woman's house once and made cut throat gestures through her window. He's also been going to my uncle's house and effing and blinding through their windows.

I think I should maybe walk away now and leave it....grow a hedge over the access and let him have the lane.

OP posts:
FinallyFinalGirl · 22/06/2024 06:59

Oops....forgot the photo.

OP posts:
FinallyFinalGirl · 22/06/2024 07:02

I cannot get the pic to attach - so annoying!! I'll keep trying.

OP posts:
Tiswa · 22/06/2024 07:04

He has locked your gate and you could be done for criminal damage - I guess for damaging his loop
have you got legal advice

FinallyFinalGirl · 22/06/2024 07:05

Hopefully this works.

Neighbour blocking access and being threatening
OP posts:
FinallyFinalGirl · 22/06/2024 07:08

I've got an appointment with a solicitor this week...it's been a nightmare finding one who hasn't conflict. They have all represented him or the girls before. I'm terrified he will come round and be abusive when my children are there. I have a son with autism who would flip out.

I'm thinking of just dropping it and planting a laurel hedge, but at the same time it is so annoying when it's my land and my gate.

OP posts:
TemuSpecialBuy · 22/06/2024 07:11

Honestly, I'd leave it.

Use alternate access and get on with your life and avoid/forget this guy.

The police cant be arsed hence the arseholic and nonsensical "guidance" you received.

He is clearly unhinged and potentially dangerous. I suspect he is one of these people that always "needs" an enemy.
Let him "win" and find someone else to harass.

Edit: when they'd used the same lawyer i thought aha bet he is always in legal disputes.
based on your update every lawyer in town has suffered him so i would 💯 drop it.
You dont need this crazy!!!

FinallyFinalGirl · 22/06/2024 07:15

Thanks Temu. I am thinking I need to let him have his 'victory' and also, as we have shared ownership of the lane, I don't want to be connected to him for life as I know he would exploit it and come looking for money for maintenance and repairs. So if he wants the proxy lane (and it's tiny) he can have it.

He's a madman. My uncle was so stressed and has also said he will use another access just to get rid of this rat.

OP posts:
Telemichus · 22/06/2024 07:15

You could take the gate clean off the hinges thereby leaving ‘his’ loop intact, but that then leaves your field unsecured.
what an arse. Fully understand why you don’t want to take him on.

FinallyFinalGirl · 22/06/2024 07:16

Haha every single lawyer in town has conflict...I've had to go to another town just to find one!!

OP posts:
TemuSpecialBuy · 22/06/2024 07:18

My family are farmers... I've seen more of this nononse than i care for.

My conclusion is you just cant fight crazy and win.
As much as your uncle may have his feathers ruffled he needs to rise above it and walk away.

Its crap and unfair and annoying but its life.

You have good ones (lives) and so have much more to lose than Mr. Lunacy over the road. Those women probably go ong with it because they are trapped next to him and have to "be on his team" or they'll feel his wrath.

FinallyFinalGirl · 22/06/2024 07:19

Yes I think my uncle is going to take the gate off when I have some Laurel to put down. I want to get rid of the gate and grow a hedge so I don't have to look over at it every time I look out of my bedroom window.

My neighbour knows the man well and said he wouldn't hesitate to put a match through my door and light the house. The woman he made cut throat gestures to is a longtime widow who lost her husband in the Troubles. A nicer, more gentle woman you would never meet. She's always at the chapel praying...no one would dream of hurting her but oh no, not him! He's sick.

OP posts:
Telemichus · 22/06/2024 07:20

Omg. The other thing to consider is whether to formally give up your right to the lane. If he gets a sniff there might be money he’ll come after you for maintenance fees even if you’re not using it.

FinallyFinalGirl · 22/06/2024 07:21

Temu you are so right. I went over to talk to one of the women and she came out ranting and shouting about the stress she was under...that it was nothing to do with her and that it was all HIM...she was pointing down the road to his house and started to cry.

I felt sorry for her and she ended up apologising for shouting...so I think there is a lot of intimidation going on there.

OP posts:
FinallyFinalGirl · 22/06/2024 07:24

He keeps insisting to my uncle he owns the whole lane so at this point I'm not sure he even realises I have shared ownership...I didn't even know myself until I checked a few weeks ago. So I'm hoping it all dies down now....he absolutely HATED seeing me recording him. He was welding, looked up and jolted when he saw me. Took a few seconds then started effing and blinding and shouting that I was a slut.

Porn soaked prick.Angry

OP posts:
FinallyFinalGirl · 22/06/2024 07:28

I have to take photos of the photo to get them to attach. This is him. I was standing in the field holding my phone up and he did not like that one bit. He had actually cruised up and down past my house beforehand to see if I was home or would see him at the gate. So I knew he was up to something.

Neighbour blocking access and being threatening
OP posts:
LittleMissSleepyUK · 22/06/2024 07:35

Have the police done nothing about his threatening behaviour?

Jaboody · 22/06/2024 07:36

OP I'm sorry but I think you should just leave it. You say in your OP that there are other gates to the field. Tell your uncle to use them instead. I know you shouldn't have to, but tramps like your neighbours won't give you a minutes peace until they've won.
They will get their karma.

Jaboody · 22/06/2024 07:37

Instead, compile evidence of his threatening behaviour.