Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.

[sprigatito]

My dad's partner died of cancer a few days ago, he and I were with her when she died, and I've brought him home with me until the funeral (and probably permanently). He's got Alzheimer's and his partner was his carer. He's been looking pained and twisting his shoulder, he said it's just a spot, but I made him show me his back and found this. It looks just like the squamous cell carcinoma he's had removed before, only it's enormous. He's lost weight and is pale and more vague and breathless than usual, but I thought it was just grief

This is really fucking bad, isn't it? He survived stage 4 lymphoma in 2017 and has a heart condition. I have a doctor calling me back from 111, but should I just take him to A&E?

If I were you I would be following the skin lymphoma angle and ask to be referred to an oncologist or hematologist, especially given your father's medical history.
I'm not medical, but there are pictures of skin lymphomas on the internet, that look similar to your father's, even the one's being dismissed as cysts. I can't see that approaching it from all angles can do any harm.

One thing that strikes me on this thread is why the OP is having to do all this and why more people don't complain that this is the case - really neglectful shit like the dermatologist removing the dress and not replacing it or even telling the OP she needed to dress it. OP has been great chasing this all up over the last 2/3 weeks but imagine if this elderly man didn't have anyone to support him - what then?

But the df will be referred to oncology or haematology depending on the biopsy results. I know it is really hard to wait but he was only first seen over 2 weeks ago, a specialist opa on the 5th came through quickly so the next step is the removal of the growth and take it from there.

It is hard to sit and wait, I think we've all probably had experience of it but imo the only thing that had been inappropriate is the lack of wound care and reviews. The referral etc has actually been relatively timely.

Yes, this. I honestly think people without anyone likely often don’t access any services at all as it’s overwhelming and a minefield. Honestly, I suspect many die alone and unnecessarily and with no recognition or follow up to the failures that led to it.

How are things today @sprigatito? Did the gp call yesterday?

Do group texts or put them all on whats ap and explain you will do an update each day but managing Dad, the illness and the funeral is proving tricky so it would be helpful if people could look out for updates and funeral details etc. You are not wonder woman and ND bubble or not that is nerve shredding for everyone

Group WhatsApp was brilliant for keeping all informed 👍 worked really well for us and saved lots of extra phonecalls etc

I hope all goes well with your dad.

Thanks v much. Surgery went ok but he came round totally disoriented - no idea where he was, what was happening, tried to pull all his lines out repeatedly.

We had no choice but surgery in this instance due to location and symptoms, but off the back of this I’d suggest - super conservative treatment for your dad. It was so much harder than I even thought it would be.

I did get a call from a GP yesterday afternoon, but he didn't interpret the results for me, just told me to make an appointment early next week. We've got one on Tuesday and they are going to repeat the blood tests then as well.

I am furious again. When we saw the dermatologist on Wednesday, she said removing the lesion was urgent and she would try to get him in either yesterday or today. I've just had two letters - one from her confirming that it's urgent and that it's probably either a squamous cell carcinoma or a recurrence of his lymphoma. The other letter is an appointment to have it removed, as a day case on the 19th of June, in a different town 30 miles away. None of us can drive. I'm so utterly fucking sick of this. No appointment for the urgent chest Xray yet.

You can maybe request hospital transport?

The lesion is 3x4cm - that's just the lump, not the large area of pitted and erythematous tissue around it - and they don't know how deep it goes, because they don't know what it is. With the margin of healthy tissue that has to be removed around it, that is one hell of a wound. They are expecting to do this as a day case - so no GA - and then I will have to get him home on public transport.

I'm going to ring the dermatology department first thing Monday morning and query the whole thing. It seems bonkers to me.

This is unfortunately how it is. I chased my tail in circles trying to get my Dad seen when he needed to be. And we were let down at every turn. You're going to have to be firm and not take no for an answer to get where you want to be.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your dad. How is he at the moment is he still in pain?

Day cases are frequently done under GA.
Are you quite sure it isn't under GA?

I didn't know that Shell, maybe it will be a GA then. The letter doesn't say.

And probably the hospital 30 miles away is where this kind of procedure is always carried out.

You can ring them on Monday and find out, @sprigatito

No, the dermatologist definitely said it would be done in the hospital we attended - she went off at one point to see if they could do it that day, but they couldn't fit him in.

Oh that's really annoying!

That is so frustrating. I'm sorry. I hope you get some answers on Monday, and in the meantime, I hope you are able to take a bit of time over the weekend to rest, in any way that you can.

Oh that does sound horribly stressful, for both of you 😞 I hope he'll be more comfortable once he's recovered from the surgery a bit. Every decision seems to be so tough with poorly old people.

I would contact them and say due to his age and dementia - travel that far is not possible even with hospital transport.

They may well suggest a general because of his dementia - as if he doesn’t understand what is happening he may kick off and get upset and agitated. And he may not lie still.

You need to give them info about his condition and how he’s likely to react - without your input they won’t know.

The letter would say if he was having a GA as he would have to starve beforehand. I imagine the reason the hospital has changed is they’ve got him into the earliest appointment they can at any hospital. It’s really not a long wait though I know you are frustrated by it all.

I hope your get some clarity soon, and fingers crossed the date moved forward. Just to say though, that day cases can be done under GA. My daughter has GAs reasonably regularly, and on her day ward there are lots of surgeries. So I wouldn't assume how they'd do it based on it not being planned for him to stay overnight. Obviously even if it's not planned for him to stay, he will if necessary.

That's true though. Hmnnn.