Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.

[sprigatito]

My dad's partner died of cancer a few days ago, he and I were with her when she died, and I've brought him home with me until the funeral (and probably permanently). He's got Alzheimer's and his partner was his carer. He's been looking pained and twisting his shoulder, he said it's just a spot, but I made him show me his back and found this. It looks just like the squamous cell carcinoma he's had removed before, only it's enormous. He's lost weight and is pale and more vague and breathless than usual, but I thought it was just grief

This is really fucking bad, isn't it? He survived stage 4 lymphoma in 2017 and has a heart condition. I have a doctor calling me back from 111, but should I just take him to A&E?

Might it be an idea to contact PALS first thing tomorrow. Also try 111 albeit again to get an appointment with a Dr at an urgent treatment centre? Questions for PALS could be:

My dad aged x, who has had a cancer diagnosis previously saw Dr y at z clinic yesterday for a large ulcerated lesion on his back. They recommended an excision, because it presents as cancerous within two weeks.

1. Can you find out if the excision will involve a general anaesthetic?

1. He is also breathless and has lost a lot of weight and they suggested a chest xray via our GP who is not being helpful. How do I get this arranged.

1. Should my dad see an oncologist urgently who can arrange a CT scan and make a treatment/care plan. My dad is registered with a GP in blah Town, where he usually lives. Should they be helping?

Also @sprigatito could you call his usual gp for telephone advice?

I'd follow it up with an email so you have an audit trail.

You are a wonderful daughter.

Finally, although it sounds harsh, could you take your dad home and make a safeguarding report to social services and get them involved at that end. Therefore any decision to get yiur dad back to you isn't something he regards as just your responsibility. How far away does he usually live?

A family WhatsApp group would be tricky as several of them don't speak to each other, we're a temperamental bunch of sods 😂 but it would work for a few of my cousins and uncles. I will suggest it.

Am going to ring the GP first thing and try to get a same day appointment. If that doesn't work I will try the other suggestions (thanks again for all the good advice).

Knackered tonight after talking to various relatives and friends, all of whom have different opinions about what I should be doing. Just got into bed and received a text from one saying they don't think I should take him to the funeral. They all mean well and it's wonderful that they all care so much, but it is tiring when you're an antisocial bugger who just wants to crawl under a blanket and be alone. I do have two first cousins who have been so lovely and supportive though, they both adored him as children and would do anything for him. It's actually been quite nice getting closer to them again over this.

Bloody dermatologist took his dressing off and didn't put a new one on, I didn't clock that so when I went to change it tonight it was a mess and stuck to his clothes. Grrr.

@sprigatito I've been keeping up with your posts and haven't posted until now but just a thought.... Have you spoken to your dad's GP or his oncologist who looked after him before? Was/is he still under their care for follow ups/6 monthly or yearly checks? If you can get in touch with who he was under before it might be a faster track to getting him properly diagnosed.
I'm sorry if this has been mentioned by others and I've missed it, but I don't think I've seen any reference to it in your replies so hopefully I'm not repeating something that's already been covered x
I've been thinking of you and your dad and husband/family and really hope things get expedited very soon x
Also, surely all dermatologists have to refer someone to an oncologist if cancer is suspected so maybe give them a call and say a few questions have come up since your dad's appt today and could someone go through a few things with you xx
Sending love and positive prayers ♥️

I know things have been tough financially for you recently but could your Dad afford a private Oncology consultation?
A few friends have done this recently and the oncologist has kindly referred them straight to NHS surgery the same day via an emergency admission.

£350 for the original appointment.

A chest x-ray will make things clearer. It’s the right course of action and ideally should be done asap.

OP you’re having such a hard time. Care of the elderly in this country is shockingly bad. There’s just no money. I don’t know where it goes but for some reason other countries like Germany and France do a better job. I will vote Labour but I don’t hold out much hope for change. We are in so much debt in this country. We have had appalling leaders for so long.

Anyway, you have so much to process. I hope you can get an appointment tomorrow. I’ve found writing it all down, all the points I want to make and why it’s an urgent request can help before making the call. I’ve also resorted to going in and speaking face to face to try and help matters along.

i wonder if you should be getting help from the district nurse with regular visits for changing the dressing on your dads wound.

This sort of thing shouldn’t be left to you.

Wish you all the luck in the world tomorrow for a kind receptionist. 🍀

Yes it’s worth mentioning the district nurse tomorrow to the GP. Only they can action it, the visits to start coming. I’d hope they might also offer better pain relief. There are various opioid patches and nerve blockers like pregabalin/Lyrica that can help. Your poor DF and you. It’s heart breaking. I’ve been through it. Sending love and strength.

I have seen the very worst of things turn out to be benign, so we don't know. As others suggest, an urgent GP app. Sadly the internet will only amp up the anxiety.
I wanted to say that I am sorry that you are dealing with so much shit. I've been there, it is isolating and tempts you to feel maligned, singled out. Please take care and look after yourself, too.

And I agree with PP, if no luck with GP then go to A&E who will eventually x-ray him. Then finally you’ll get closer to knowing more. They were tricky with my mum’s x-rays though. They sent the results to Gp and it was he who told her she had lung cancer. It was not an immediate answer, given the breathlessness though it might be a different pathway.

Tbh having it removed within 2 weeks is as quick as they could do it, yes it's still a wait but in the meantime just ring the GPs to get the chest xray booked in (if you say a consultant has requested it then anyone, a nurse will put it on the system no need to see a dr) and whilst on the phone I'd ask for a nurse appointment for a wound review and ask for a dressing prescription.

Once you've had an official diagnosis you will get more joined up support. Best wishes.

I've just had a much better experience with the GP surgery than I was expecting! Got through at 8.30 to a receptionist who was lovely, wrote down everything I said and put him on the urgent triage list. Got the triage call 5 minutes later, then called back by a GP 15 minutes after that! The GP I spoke to was fantastic, she is going to make the referral for the chest xray today and order blood tests, then he needs to be seen face to face in a week to look at the results and go from there. She couldn't understand why the dermatologist didn't do blood tests and order the chest xray yesterday. Feel loads better, I thought I was going to face another brick wall today and it was the opposite.

Oh, my word, I'm so happy to hear that. At last, someone helpful and understanding. Well done, OP.

So pleased for you!!

Fantastic. I totally agree why on earth did the dermatologist not order the bloods and refer for X-ray herself.

That's brilliant OP. At least now you have someone on your side which will make you feel better about what you're all going through.
If you've got the energy I'd fire off a complaint to PALS about yours and your Dad's treatment yesterday. You don't have to have real life interaction - you could just send an e-mail - they will then have to investigate. That Dermatologist needs to be held to account.

@sprigatito it won’t be a family WhatsApp group, it will be a ‘Frank’s update group’.

Label it like that and send the invitation to anyone who asks. You can set it so you are the only one allowed to post in it.

This is fantastic news OP, finally a professional that cares!

Blood tests have been done! They had a cancellation so called him in. Results expected by the end of the day! I'm stunned, it couldn't be more different from last week.

If those blood results are normal I think I'll collapse with relief!

Its great news that you/your Dad were treated so much better today, hope that his blood test results come back normal 🤞

I'm so pleased to hear you've had some progress today.

This is so great to hear after the useless dermatologist.

I'm so glad it is now being treated with the urgency it deserves.

Not commented until now, but was thinking of you yesterday. I'm having to jump through hoops helping my own father, so know how exhausting it can be just making phone calls.

'That Dermatologist needs to be held to account.'

I'm not sure they do tbh. Yes ordering bloods and xrays whilst there would seem a good idea but it is quite common to be sent back to the GP as often hospitals are already backed up with those awaiting tests.

Imo the nurse who saw him in the first place has been the least helfpul, just firing off a referral. No wound care review, no analgesia checks, no basic observations such as temp etc. She could've set the whole ball rolling then ordering bloods xray etc so everything was in place.

That's fast work!

Hope you are able to feel a bit less pressured now your dad is getting the proper treatment, and can rest. I hope the results are normal, but either way it sounds like he is getting cared for and taken seriously now.

Glad to hear things are moving now xx