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Original poster

Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.

948 replies

sprigatito · 20/05/2024 18:04

My dad's partner died of cancer a few days ago, he and I were with her when she died, and I've brought him home with me until the funeral (and probably permanently). He's got Alzheimer's and his partner was his carer. He's been looking pained and twisting his shoulder, he said it's just a spot, but I made him show me his back and found this. It looks just like the squamous cell carcinoma he's had removed before, only it's enormous. He's lost weight and is pale and more vague and breathless than usual, but I thought it was just grief Sad

This is really fucking bad, isn't it? He survived stage 4 lymphoma in 2017 and has a heart condition. I have a doctor calling me back from 111, but should I just take him to A&E?

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Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.
Sensitive content
Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.
OP posts:
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10
LardoBurrows · 25/05/2024 17:08

I'm so glad that your Dad was seen by someone who actually examined your Dad and listened to you and took your concerns seriously.

Well done @sprigatito for taking good care of your Dad and being so tenacious in trying to access some basic healthcare from the broken NHS.

Throckmorton · 25/05/2024 17:16

I'm really sorry it wasn't something they could fix easily, but I'm glad he is being seen so quickly. You and he both sound lovely. Best wishes for you both.

Mirabai · 25/05/2024 17:22

I am so glad you got to see someone so thorough and helpful. I’m sorry it’s not the best news.

ellyfb · 25/05/2024 17:26

Glad to hear your dad got the care and attention he deserves.

stayathomegardener · 25/05/2024 18:10

Oh bless him, such an adorable image of him whistling whilst making a pot of tea.

Glad you have an appointment for Tuesday, worthwhile going in indeed.

RoobarbAndMustard · 25/05/2024 18:13

It's good that your dad will be seen by a dermatologist on Tuesday instead of 5th June. The sooner the better. I
I hope it's not bad news and if it is, that they can treat without affect his QOL too much.
The whistling while making tea reminds me of my dad.

familyissues12345 · 25/05/2024 18:15

So pleased you're getting seen sooner OP x

Youllnevergetabetterbitofbutteronyourknife · 25/05/2024 18:18

JohnSt1 · 25/05/2024 02:31

A relative of mine had several tumours on her skin from metastatic breast cancer and they didn't smell strongly. They were like open sores at the end, but they didn't smell bad.

Edited
Show quote history

Ah, fair enough. I only have experience of my mum's, thankfully. Sorry you experienced it too.

TheShellBeach · 25/05/2024 18:37

Have you got decent painkillers for him now?

Janiie · 25/05/2024 19:15

Tbh ive no idea why they're going with the dermatology opa. It needs to come off whatever it is you'd think a surgical referral would be the best and quickest bet but glad you got a kind and thorough hcp op, they sadly seem thin on the ground these days.

If there isn't a dermatology avaliable Tue just ask him to get a surgical opinion instead.

toomanytonotice · 25/05/2024 19:29

Janiie · 25/05/2024 19:15

Tbh ive no idea why they're going with the dermatology opa. It needs to come off whatever it is you'd think a surgical referral would be the best and quickest bet but glad you got a kind and thorough hcp op, they sadly seem thin on the ground these days.

If there isn't a dermatology avaliable Tue just ask him to get a surgical opinion instead.

He’s elderly, with Alzheimer’s.

he may not be a suitable candidate for surgery. Or in his health it may be risky. The size it is it will take a lot of skin and may need a massive excision.

he will need a thorough assessment first. Decide what it is, how aggressive to get, and how his health can cope.

surgeons rushing in can cause more damage if it is a tumour. If it hasn’t spread cutting into it may cause it to spread.
If there’s not a lot can be done it may be debulking for comfort rather than trying for clean margins and a cure.

Janiie · 25/05/2024 19:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

wilteddandelion · 25/05/2024 22:40

so sorry it wasn't better news but at least now things are moving in the right direction with regards to the referral and you had an understanding doc xx

EnglishBluebell · 25/05/2024 22:52

Lotsie · 25/05/2024 00:12

I see things like this on a daily basis as a nurse.

I don’t think this warrants urgent attention. Cysts/wounds etc naturally leak fluid, that is normal and not concerning. I have no idea why some has written that it’s necrotising, this isn’t even a word that is really used, and it certainly doesn’t look anything like a necrotic wound.

It is red and angry looking because it is inflamed, because it is (most likely) a whopping great big cyst. Inflammation does not equal infection. And also because we are looking at a photo, which always really ramps up the contrast and makes things look much redder.

There are no dermatologists in A&E. They will give you no more answers. At a best bet, they might give him a course of antibiotics, which from the very limited info I have I am not convinced he needs.

I understand that you are very worried, but there is little you can do. If it becomes hot (not warm but actually hot), painful (he struggles to let you touch the surrounding skin), it starts to suddenly smell very unpleasant, or redness starts tracking and spreading, call 111 for an assessment. I would expect other signs of infection to kick in before a wound started making lots of puss, so I don’t usually worry about puss if there are no other symptoms. Because he may find it harder to communicate his pain you may need to watch out for his non verbal cues, but reading these posts, it looks like you are pretty good at that already.

You’re doing a great job. Good luck!

Did you not read about OP's DF's history of skin cancer????

EnglishBluebell · 25/05/2024 22:55

ohheadhurts · 25/05/2024 16:51

So glad for you OP!

What?????

FridgeJenga · 25/05/2024 23:02

@sprigatito you are a good daughter ❤️
Your dad is blessed to have you by his side.
Well done that doctor 👏
Hope your dad is as comfortable as he can be.

Itwasafterallallaboutme · 26/05/2024 03:18

I have still only read all of your posts @sprigatito, but I just wanted to say Bless you for being such a lovely loving and caring Daughter, and a great human being. Your loveliness just flows from your posts!

LifeIsJustOneBigWTAF · 26/05/2024 11:12

Glad you got to see an empathetic medical professional who took you seriously. There is indeed a weird sense of relief in knowing what you are likely dealing with. Wishing you all the best x

merryandbrightdelight · 26/05/2024 20:13

Op, you are a credit to your dad and I'm so pleased you are getting somewhere Flowers

onepotattotwo · 27/05/2024 11:43

What a lovely caring daughter you are OP Smile

Original poster
sprigatito · 28/05/2024 11:24

Really disappointing morning 😞 I took Dad back to see the doctor who saw him last week. He had tried to get a dermatologist to see him sooner than 5th June but been told it wasn't possible. The dermatologist had read his report and looked at the photographs and agreed that it looks like a large cutaneous carcinoma, but not sure what type until they do the tests. It hasn't responded at all to the antibiotics.

Feeling really miserable and sick, I am not great at handling worry anyway and this is just brutal. Didn't sleep last night.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 28/05/2024 11:40

Is your dad's pain under control now, @sprigatito?

Original poster
sprigatito · 28/05/2024 11:48

TheShellBeach · 28/05/2024 11:40

Is your dad's pain under control now, @sprigatito?

I'm giving him OTC ibuprofen and codeine which does seem to help, the doctor said to carry on with that. He still looks quite uncomfortable sometimes but he's so stoical he would never tell me. He has a padded dressing on it now which should help with the pain when he leans back and puts pressure on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
sprigatito · 28/05/2024 11:49

ArabellaScott · 28/05/2024 11:29

Oh, OP. I'm so sorry.

Have you contacted MacMillan, at all? They can be really good for supporting families.

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help

I haven't yet because he hasn't been diagnosed, I was really hoping that might happen today.

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