Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.

[sprigatito]

My dad's partner died of cancer a few days ago, he and I were with her when she died, and I've brought him home with me until the funeral (and probably permanently). He's got Alzheimer's and his partner was his carer. He's been looking pained and twisting his shoulder, he said it's just a spot, but I made him show me his back and found this. It looks just like the squamous cell carcinoma he's had removed before, only it's enormous. He's lost weight and is pale and more vague and breathless than usual, but I thought it was just grief

This is really fucking bad, isn't it? He survived stage 4 lymphoma in 2017 and has a heart condition. I have a doctor calling me back from 111, but should I just take him to A&E?

I've just had the notification of the referral, so hopefully they'll get him in sooner than the two weeks. He's still wincing and huffing, so I've given him some pain killers and am going to keep an eye on his temperature - he's had septicaemia before and I really don't want to go through that again. DH has been in tears this morning about his job situation, he's being treated incredibly badly and the new job hunt isn't going well. Someone up there really doesn't like us right now 🤯

I'm so sorry for everything all three of you are enduring right now. Sometimes life seems unbelievably unfair. I'm really hoping you get an early appointment for your Dad, and some positive news on the job hunt.

Hoping things turn a corner for you soon. They invariably do x

Hope things start looking up for you soon OP, life can be so unfair.

Same here.
Sorry you are going through so much at once.
Just take it step by step.

Just had a call from the hospital, they have given him an appointment on 5th June. I asked whether there was any chance of being seen sooner and they said definitely not, so that's that. Also just heard that his partner' funeral will be on 14th June, so hopefully he will be well enough to go. Dad can't remember going to the doctor yesterday.

That’s only 2 weeks away, which is pretty good going. So sad your dad can’t remember, bless him.

Keep calling every day though, you might get a cancellation

Hi OP, firstly this is good news... you know when the appointment is and you can work around that. If your dad continues to be in pain, call your GP again and ask what can be done, explain you are pleased to have the appointment but he needs help to tide him over. If you are not successful there, pop into your local pharmacist, show them the pics and ask for their advice.

Don't worry about him forgetting the GP, but when he mentions it, say, "Well it's a good job we have an appointment to see someone about it," don't bother reminding him that he has seen the Nurse Practitioner, make it about the present and the future.

I am sorry your partner is having more challenges at work, but you have got this and are taking on a lot atm. Your dad will be very proud of you for all you are currently doing.

@sprigatito
Good news your Dad has his appointment in a couple for weeks. The not knowing is the worst and your imagination runs riot. Hopefully your dad gets answers quickly.
You're doing a great job looking after him.
I hope your partner is successful soon in his job hunt.

I would still take him to a and e for pain management

111 phone appointment would be better for this.
He's very elderly and he has dementia.
Sitting in A & E for many hours is not necessary, nor would he cope with it.

This is very much a long shot @sprigatito , because he’s a visitor not officially a patient of your GP I believe, but I don’t suppose you have a district nurse team locally who might be able to get a dressing onto your poor Dad's back to make it a bit more comfortable for him until he can be seen?

We have district nurses in my area and they’re very good with this sort of thing. I think you might have to go to your GP or 111 to request a visit but others may have better info.

I could try the district nurses, thank you. I don't really want to take him to A&E unless I absolutely have to, last time I went there I waited 12 hours and had to sit on the floor. I'd do it if I thought he would get treated sooner, but it would be utterly brutal for him. He's frailer than he thinks he is. He's eating well and seems more comfortable on the pain killers I've given him, so I think we'll watch and wait for now.

Sending you a virtual hug and a hand hold @sprigatito
I know it’s not the done thing on MN but you are having to cope with so much in such a short space of time, supporting and caring for all around you.
I hope you remember to take a moment or two for yourself.
I will be keeping everything crossed for you and your family.

Sorry I've not read all the PP so don't know if it's been suggested, but could got try a Minor Injuries Unit rather than A&E, even if you have to travel a bit (we don't have any locally, so I know not everywhere does)?

I'm so sorry you're going such a rubbish time. I hope it works out OK. Best wishes

Actually I'd be inclined tk call his and explain to reception that you'd like to send a photo. How long until he is back?

Sorry to keep harping back to this thread, but I'm freaking out again. I've just had a look at the lesion on dad's back and it seems to be ulcerating - it's darker in colour, and I think I've found another, smaller one nearby? He has his dermatologist appointment booked for 5th June, I know realistically we're not going to get any answers more quickly, but I'm really struggling with the worry. Just wanted to talk about it's really so came back here. I've attached new photos if anyone medical wants to compare them with the original (sorry, it's gross!)

I wondered if your dad has had any follow ups regarding the grade 4 lymphoma or was he discharged? If he wasn't discharged and you have contact details for a consultant, in that clinic, it may be a faster route to investigation maybe?

He was discharged a few years ago. None of them could believe he survived the chemotherapy and made a full recovery, it was regarded as a bit of a miracle. He's had several skin cancers removed in the meantime, but I don't have any paperwork for those.

Can you pay for a private consult OP? Sorry if you have already answered this but I have not read the full thread yet. Your Dad needs to be seen asap.

I really can't, our financial situation is dicey right now. I wish I could.

I'm so scared. I feel sick.

As it is ulcerating I'd ring and get a GP appointment tomorrow. If it's getting infected he'll need antibiotics whilst awaiting for his dermatology appointment. The gp/nurse may even ring the hospital for advice or at least get a dressing on it. Good luck, must be such a worry .