Hi @sprigatito, I am so sorry that you are going through such a nightmare time. You are obviously a very caring and loving person. As you have already seen a nurse I didn't want to say anything, but I am being niggled - if there is such a word - by an impression the photos of your dear Dad's back gave me, so please bear with me for a minute or two; the immediate impression I got was that whatever it is, it looks very infected and sore. I am worried that if it is infected it could turn into Septicemia very quickly, which would of course be an emergency right now, no matter whatever else is going on.
I had a slow growing lump on my back that a doctor took a quick look at (it was very large, itchy, and it felt like it was trying to burst out of my skin, so it was very annoying, but not exactly painful), the GP said it was a cyst and as it was only a "cosmetic" problem, the surgery would not do anything about it. It was just a cyst, which is of course very good, but I wasn't at all worried about what it looked like, the only person who normally sees that part of my back is my Dr. It was both uncomfortable and very annoying, so I was not happy that she wouldn't arrange for it to be removed.
What I think might be the most relevant bit with regards to your DDad is that within 3 to 4 weeks of seeing the GP, my cyst became very, throbbingly, painful, and very pinky red, which was creeping past just the circumference of the actual cyst. It looked a lot like your DDad's lesion (sorry if that is the wrong term to use when it hasn't been identified yet), except that mine was a bit more like a regular roundish shape. It became so painful one evening that my DH took me to A&E at our localish hospital. I had the usual wait to be seen by the triage nurse, but as soon as she saw it she offered me painkillers (which I didn't need as I was already on Morphine and Codeine tablets for my other conditions, which help keep most of my pain within acceptable boundaries, but doesn't touch the pain when I get stabbing pains due to neuropathy in my feet!), but even my painkillers, including my usual 50mgs of Amitriptyline for neural pains, did absolutely nothing for the pain caused by my infected cyst.
The nurse took my temperature and checked my blood pressure, and then sent me straight for blood tests, and ECG. I was then seen very quickly by a Dr, who started me on antibiotics straight away - intravenously at first - and wanted to admit me, and to operate on the cyst as soon as the antibiotics had reduced the infection. However beds were, as usual, very hard to come by, I didn't want to be admitted anyway, and they were convinced when I told them about all the other medical and service equipment I would need to bring in, or have them provide for me on the ward. So after making an appoinment for me to come back for my little operation, and giving me enough oral antibiotics to take until I had the op, they let me go home after I had spent a few hours on the intravenous antibiotics. They also wouldn't let me have the operation under a local anaesthetic - which I almost begged for - because apparently it would have still been too painful, so I had to have a general anaesthetic.
I'm sorry if I am giving you useless information, that isn't relevant to your DDad at all, I was just trying to show you how important it could be if his lesion is infected. Quite frankly I am appalled at how the nurse treated, or rather didn't treat, your poor Dad. I just hope that he wasn't in anywhere near the amount of pain I was in, as it is almost unbelievable that considering your Dad has a Dementia and therefore couldn't reliably tell the nurse how much pain he was in, that the nurse didn't do any of the obvious, usual, and necessary tests that she could have easily done at the surgery. IMO and above everything else, as soon as she saw 'that' on your Dad's back, she should have called a Dr in to see it. If whatever it is, is infected, it needs treating straightaway, and not waiying 2 weeks for an appointment with a dermatologist, or anyone else.
I am so upset and cross on behalf of both your DDad and you. I hope, and will pray, that you both get the best outcomes for each of you, the bear minimum being that your Dad is without pain very soon - hopefully by the use of painkillers, and antibiotics, if he does have an infection.
💐💐💐