What have you become afraid of as you have gotten older?

[AliceMcK]

Heights.

They never bothered me when I was younger, I travelled and visited towers with glass floors, I never got to jump out of a plane but always wanted to. I did The Nevis bungee jump when I think it was the world’s highest, multiple vertical (slingshot) bungies, paragliding, I remember once being lifted up by a crane and pulling a cord to release me and 2 strangers, we free fell then swung in the air. I was absolutely that annoying person who swung the big wheel carriage when we were at the top.

Now the thought of even a ferris wheel freaks me out. I went on the small one at Legoland Windsor a few years ago felt so sick, I couldn’t look at anything. My DDs wanted to go on the Liverpool Wheel the other week and I felt so bad because I’ve always talked about cool things I’ve done, but I couldn’t do it. I can’t even go on high theme park rides any more. When I was younger, talking right into my 30s, the bigger the better.

I don’t know what has happened to me, I still love the thought of jumping out of a plane but I know I’d be a quivering mess if I tried.

Anyone else have sudden fears they never had, other than the immortal ever lasting sleep that is?

Death ..scared of losing my parents and everyone close to me,
I've had a fear of death since I was a child and when I think of my age and how quickly the years pass I get so scared at the thought of dying.. think of it every day..it's awful

True. I think we become much more risk-conscious as we age. I think women experience this earlier, as soon as they become parents. And it doesn’t dial down. So we worry earlier, and for longer, and there is a cumulative effect. Maybe this contributes to women’s longevity, our careful risk analysis, and our earlier understanding of aging and the diminution of spatial awareness, etc.

Dying in pain from cancer.

Just watched my dad die slowly over many months.

I am not strong enough to go through that. He was amazing.

Heights
Roller coasters - poor dd was confined to the tamest rides growing up as I wouldn't go on anything bigger with her
Driving on motorways or any major roads - I am literally now that elderly cautious driver noone wants to be behind

Falling. I seem to be always tripping over my own feet or misjudging the distance between me and the furniture. I was always a bit inclined this way, but it's getting worse. I'm rather heavier these days and come down like an absolute ton of bricks. I ended up at the hospital with a suspected broken finger last week after tripping over the vacuum cleaner. Thankfully it wasn't broken after all. I'm like bloody Norman Wisdom😬🤣

Heights
Driving fast
Lack of money/ not having a job

Motorways and fast driving. I love a B road or when there's limits on a motorway that make people go at 50. Hate everyone speeding along, it's like a concrete rollercoaster of death to me now. Give me a train journey instead anyday.

Never loved heights but really hate them now.

Some of this set in after having kids but got worse in 40s. Feels physical, like an inner ear thing, more spun out by fast motion and fear. Though I'm not generally fearful or anxious in everyday life, and these fears seem pretty rational to me.

Politicians.
Heights.
Dying before my dw ,she isn't suited to modern life I worry how she'll cope without me . that's my biggest worry.

Prospect of getting illnesses in later life like dementia and not having the option of assisted death.

Being a passenger with a bad driver. This is very recent, in fact only since I learned to drive a few years ago. Yesterday I was with a friend for the first time, and her driving scared me to bits. Not fast or reckless, just the opposite! She was doing about 20kmh under the limit and driving so the passenger side was almost over the central line (two lanes each way, we were in the right hand lane, which is common in Australia). I was leaning into the car, it was so unnerving.

Not having a big enough pension.

Crowds. I used to love big festivals and always had the thought I'd take them to Glastonbury, but I've become increasingly terrified of the thought of being crushed in big crowds moving around

Dying young.

@SirChenjins would it reassure you to know that orcas extremely rarely attack humans? I looked it up once and one theory is orcas are v fussy eaters and only eat what their mother has taught them to hunt - seals etc. As they rarely come across a human in the water they wouldn’t consider them food. And they’re v clever so wouldn’t mistake a human bobbing around for a nice fat seal.

Illness . Falling. Just health issues in generel that will affect my mobility. The thoughts of being unable to do simple household tasks .

Lack of money to have a decent standard of living . Before there was always an opportunity to earn but not feasible as you get older. Wish I has paid more attention to this.

Travel is not that attractive anymore. Very uncomfortable now with crowds, parking issues, longer waiting times in airports . Love getting to a my destination but hating the airport experience.

Leaving my ds unprotected.

I've got to the point of having a pension and equity in the house. Stopped worrying daily about money or losing my job or paying the mortgage.

My ds being loved, happy and secure when I'm no longer around is now what concerns me.

Bodies of water you can't see the bottom of, especially big fast moving rivers. Going over the humber bridge is terrifying to me now.

Child sexual abuse. Both child on child and adult on child. Sometimes I'm paralysed by it, not knowing if the decision I'm about to make regarding childcare/ schooling is the wrong one or not... I'm so terrified of letting my kids down by not being vigilant enough.

Yes I've been resenting AI this week.

All the manual admin you have to do with the data in advance to ensure AI comes out with reliable results - I felt I was AIs servant and it was the Master. Grrrr.

The unintended consequences of AI - I could write a book about it!

@AliceMcK i genuinely think the driving anxiety is a perimenopause symptom. It’s well documented. I’ve never liked driving but last summer was hit with a deep anxiety about it, I can’t explain it, it was like my body was physically pulling back while the car was going forward. I still avoid long straight roads where I can help it (any highways etc terrify me) or going to new places. I am now on HRT and it’s better but not completely gone. Same for health anxiety.

as I’m getting older I am just generally more cautious. Skin cancer and sun burn is my current one. Previously I’d have slapped on the factor 6 and been straight out there, this year I have been more diligent with higher factor cream and taking more care over applying etc.

Flying, I used to work in travel and took many flights a year (approx 15) but now I feel sick at the airport and on takeoff. Fine when we’re up there and fine with landing.

Driving, again used to be really confident, have driven since I was 17 including many places overseas including Canada. Now I won’t even go to the big Tesco the other side of town as it involves turning right at a really busy junction.

Injury. Used to heal so fast. Now I've had a couple of small annoying things (pulled muscle type stuff) and omg they've taken months to resolve. Friends with big injuries have been out for a year or more with huge implications for their lives.

Gastric illness. A fast vomit and feeling better immediately used to be my superpower. Now I look at lots of friends will swimming with consequent inevitable bugs and think they are mad tbh.

Wild swimming not will swimming

Death. Leaving my children before I'm an old old woman and they are stable , happy and more able to cope with losing a parent. (Lost my mum in my twenties and the aftermath has wreaked havoc on me)

Cancer.

I'm old enough to be coming to terms with my own mortality but I really don't want a long period of being horribly sick and in pain beforehand. Wish I'd made better choices earlier in my life, so the risk was lower.