Special Mum & Son things to do together

[Boymumtobe09]

DH & I are expecting a baby boy in a few months time which we are absolutely over the moon about. Since we found out we are having a boy DH has talked non stop about all the things he can’t wait to do with him - first football match, first rugby match, go karts, first pint etc which is obviously lovely for DH but I’m starting to feel like a 3rd wheel and baby isn’t even here yet !!

So boy mums, what are the special things you do with your sons? Would really like to have a memorable thing I do with my son that he can look back fondly on.

I grew up in a very girl heavy family & always went to a girls school so feel completely clueless about what little boys like!! I’ve asked DH what he did with his mum but he has a sister so sounds like his mum did the girly stuff with her and dad did the boy stuff with him.

Try not to get too hung up on boy things / girl things. Your DS will let you know what he likes!

Some things I do with my teenage ds that my husband doesn't so much are: baking, long walks, going to the gym, and helping him with his maths homework 😅

Just stuff, days out to national trust, museums, trips to the park, walks in the woods, swimming, kayaking or SUP on the river.I also do or did all of this with my daughter, there really isn't any difference.

My oldest ds and I go to gigs together too.

Your DH does realise your DS might not want to do those things right? And there's years of graft and bonding to put in before any of those ideas start to even be possible to come to fruition.

There will be loads of things you will do together in the future. You'll find your way, take the lead from your DS and what his genuine interests turn out to be.

Whatever you both end up wanting to do. My ds hates all of the stuff your dh likes, don’t presume boys automatically will like football etc, and don’t push it on him.
Don’t feel clueless about what boys like - they like different things, my dad was a football hating dancer.

My 8 yo son is my shadow. A complete mummy's boy who is just happy being next to me! 💙 We just do simple things together and he loves it.

My DS is 4 and such a mamma boy. He loves rugby but I take him as well. He enjoys play with his daddy but with me and his nanna he loves cooking/baking. Honestly don't stress and just enjoy whatever their personality is! Your little boy may not like stereotypical boy things and it's important his dad embraces him for who he is too!

I was the football one here, but also DS (20) and I share a love of nature, babies and the theatre, he also like food planning/shopping with me followed by breakfast in the supermarket cafe (Dd and DH not bothered by any of these things and would rather pull their eyes out- they share silly jokes and musical taste.

I have a daughter (20) and two sons (18 and 10). The things we do together aren't necessarily divided along gender lines but by what they like. The boys both love tea so we often visit Bird and Blend for a tea latte. DS2 loves football so he goes with DH, but he also loves History, so I take him to exhibitions. I probably do go shopping more with DD but that's because the boys aren't particularly keen, although we all love a good bookshop. Don't worry - you'll find your thing 🙂

Congratulations on your baby boy. I have 3 boys and they all like different things. One likes to come shopping, get food out together. One likes to go for long walks where he can climb trees. One loves when we read together. As a family we do things like visit the science museum, history tours, trampoline parks, zip line parks - all of these things can be done with boys and girls.
And boys can do everything (just like girls) some like to dance, some like soccer, some like both.

Probably your best bet is not to ask questions like this! You're already stereotyping your little boy before he even arrives. He'll still be your child, he may end up enjoying s lot of things you do.

I also have sisters and went to a girls school, having boys has been no different in my opinion than we were as kids. I took my oldest out for a special night after school the other day - we went to a bookshop, out for dinner, walked through the park. He does rugby and cricket, but also dance and tennis and cooking class. He loves reading and board games as well as rampant activity.

Your little boy will be a real complex human with lots of interests! And I bet he will love hanging out with his mum

I was my little boy's anchor and still am now that he is an adult. He wasn't interested in any of the things your husband is talking about. He liked watching movies with me and talking about plots. He was into music and we listened to that together. He like to tell me about his friends and everything that happened in the day. He never felt that pressure to be an archetypal man and I'm really glad of that. He now has an absolutely fantastic relationship with his wife and I'm convinced that because of the relationship he had with me and his sister. Your son isn't here on earth just to satisfy your husband's needs.

What are “boy things”????

My DD loves football and rugby, DH can’t stand them. Don’t try to sandwich your little boy into toxic gender stereotypes.

I take both my sons to ballet and Acro class, I take them swimming every Saturday and we go to the cafe and get a cake afterwards! Having boys is no different to having girls.

Stop with the stupid stereotype stuff for a start. Why wouldn’t your husband want to take his daughter for her first football game or pint? Be better educated as parents and bring your son up to be a boy and then man who does activities he enjoys be that ballet or basketball. He might enjoy shopping trips with you or breakfasts out… he might like photography or art or whatever. The “firsts” aren’t even a big deal in life- anyone can show up for a first time, but real commitment is shown by those who show up every week…

Little boys like the same things as little girls 🤦‍♀️ just do whatever you might enjoy doing with a daughter.

If playing games with him isn't your thing - Baking, arts and crafts, building models...just, whatever! Don't go down the "only girls should do this" road.

I love spending time with my boys! We go hiking, build Lego/ Meccano together, read books, go on day trips, museums, bike rides. Just see what they enjoy. (And don't bring them up thinking boys do X and girls do Y, really it's all down to preferences.)

Cooking, crafts, cinema, parks, picnics.

You don't know what ge will be like yet. He might not like football. Neither of my sons do, but DD does. Hopefully DH is prepared for tge fact that he may have different interests.

I love an after school cafe date with my 4 year old son. We just talk about what's going on in his world over a hot chocolate.

I've never even thought about it. My son is 2 and a half and obsessed with being on his bike all the time and going to skateparks. So I take him out on my bike on various adventures and I bought a scooter so that I can join him at the skate park rather than just standing there like a lemon watching him.

We go swimming together, we cycle/scooter at skate parks, we go for walks in the wood, we go on picnics, I play with him with his toys, we go on day trips, we go to the beach.

It's not even worth thinking about. Just be with your son and join in the things he ends up liking.

Ds is 22 now and we are close.

Why can't you come to the first rugby/football matches?

I took ds to numerous sports events. Mostly waiting on the side as he played. (I am not a sports fan)

He is still one of my favourite people in the world to go for a coffee with. Has been for 15 years now.

He was/is great for a supermarket shop.

One of my favourite memories was taking him his friend and his sister to go dry boarding and it poured with rain.

I have 3 daughters we are close the bond I have with ds is very different but no less intense.

Ds is a lot like me and I find him easy company.

There is a reason why they talk about mummy's boys. (It's not a bad thing to be a mummy's boy)
Some time ago the girls were teasing ds he was a mummy's boy dh walked in and asked what we were talking about. I said "The girls feels ds is a mummy's boy" dh responded "isn't he just" short break then he added "but then who am I to talk I am too" he was and mil was amazing.

Once your little boy is here these worries will disappear and you will find you have many ways you can bond and enjoy your son.

Ah congratulations on your little one! Boys are the best!

I'm mum to two boys, both now teenagers/young adults and they are hugely dominated by their stomach. If I want to do something with them, it usually involves eating....!

I would also not necessarily expect him to be into "boy things" one of my sons loves all of the things you described - sport, go karting, Beer... The other hates it!

My DS is 10 and not into any of those things. He tried football when younger but wasn't really for him. Him and DH are into Star Wars, gaming together, cycling.

I have completely different things though. He loves an afternoon tea, so we'll order/ make one and watch a movie, he loves reading so I'm the one that reads more to him and we shop for books together, we cook together and choose recipes, we go away for a night just the two of us, we go for walks together, I make hot chocolates and we'll sit and just chat together.

You'll find plenty of things to do with your DS that suit both you and him. Even if he does like all those things with your DH he'll most likely appreciate a completely different relationship with you.

When they're little any sort of quality time is good, going out and about, reading stories, talking to them, playing daft games.

As he grows up he will have his own set of interests and you can build your time around those.

For my ds it's theatre, specifically musicals and singing. I sing too so I help him learn his songs and we "perform" little duets together (in the privacy of our own home!!)

He actively hates football or any sort of sport really so your dh would have been disappointed.

I do get where you're coming from, for a mum having a girl you have things that you naturally look forward to doing and it's harder with a son but try to let go of those sort of things for both sexes and instead look forward to watching him grow and develop as a person.

The things that he likes.
As a baby/toddler, I used to take him out to the local hill, he would crawl around and get excited when dogs came past.
We would go swimming a lot, first in warm baby pools then normal ones when he could handle it, his favourite game used to be sitting on my back while I swam lenghts, pretending that I was his pet dolphin.
These days he is in primary school, I take him to the beach, he likes body boarding or jumping in the waves with me, or we just play on the sand, dig holes, have hot chocolate from a flask, watch the sunset (usually whilst he is still digging the hole).
We go to the woods, and build dens out of sticks.
I take him to the shallow rivers where he likes wading around, looking for treasure (nice stones) and building rope swings.
He likes baking with me, especially if he gets to mix with his hands.
Some days I pick him up from school and we go out to get ice cream or to have a drink in a coffee shop l, he loves that.
You can do tons of things with your son, whatever you want can be special between you.

I notice all the things your DH is suggesting aren't exactly baby activities - he will have a long wait!

Next time he starts off, maybe suggest he get excited about first nappy change, first poonami, first trip to the park, first visit to Nanna?