How to politely say eff off?

[GR8GAL]

Long story short, I stopped speaking to my "friends" over 10 years ago when a nasty rumour was spread about me. Consequently I suffered sever depression and alcoholism, resulting in attempts to take my own life, I was left very lonely and hopeless. It was devastating. I've since recovered, after many rock bottoms, and have been alcohol free for 5 years now, all of the friends I've made since then know this and today I have a wonderful relationship and an incredibly supportive group of friends.

Cut to this weekend and one of old gang has reached out saying "Long time no see, fancy meeting up for a drink?" and expecting me to relay the last 12 years worth of my life's events. Also seems to think I'm still single which is a bit insulting, this person hasn't made any attempt to maintain a friendship in all this time and clearly doesn't really know the person I am now, expecting me to fill them in.

How can I tell this person that I have no interest in reconnecting just because it suits them now? I find it incredibly obtuse and tactless but don't want to seem bitter. I have a wonderful life now but they don't deserve the details nor do they deserve to be a part of it.

What would you do in this situation?

I'm not sure I would ignore it, there might be a follow up. But I would respond with 'absolutely not'.

Ignore and block him.

He hasn't been in touch for 12 years, what friendship could he possibly expect now? He may have sent this on a whim but it's upset you.

I guarantee you that once he's caught up you won't hear from him again so what is the point?

You are in such a good place now!

I suspect the guy has suddenly grown a conscious and is trying to ease his own guilt. I would just ignore or just respond Nope!

Silence is the best response. Well done for getting your life back on track.
That is no mean feat.

There's a clear consensus here that no response is best here, and I couldn't agree more strongly. No response is a response.

Many congratulations on getting into recovery, OP. It's difficult and what you've achieved can't be overestimated. You're also living proof of that other cliche: 'the best revenge is living well'.

Hats off to you.

I like Sarah Millican’s reply to her childhood bully

‘Hello X. To be honest, I probably won’t reply more fully than this as I don’t remember you very favourably.’

If he was genuinely interested in renewing the friendship, his message would have at least acknowledged the fact that there has been a 12-year break in contact. “Long time no see!” is something you might say to a friend you hadn’t managed to catch up with in a while because life has got in the way a bit. It’s extremely blasé when you haven’t spoken to someone in over a decade, when there was a clear rift.

Ignore and block, and tighten your Facebook privacy settings.

Is he an ex bf or fwb?

Sounds like you still have some resentment over the way he treated you. I would just block without replying. And change my FB privacy settings.

So now you’re saying he didn’t say ‘Long time no see, fancy meeting up for a drink?’, as you say he said in your OP, and which doesn’t sound particularly flirtatious?

I would ignore him and block, he's just being nosy, they're probably wondering what's gone on in your life since the ghosting and he's the flying monkey. don't give them the satisfaction and don't get back involved in such a toxic friendship group. you've come so far without them.
no reply is the best reply