Is this what working in your 40s like or am I just a fatty?

[Frequency]

Obviously, I've worked before but from home for the last 6 years. My work routine was to get up 5 minutes before I started work, stumble to my desk, and then make a coffee and make myself vaguely presentable after handing over from the last shift. The only walking involved was to the kettle and back.

Now I am working outside the home, my day involves getting up at 5 am to shower, style my hair and make my lunch, walking to the bus stop, walking from the bus stop to the next bus stop, and walking from that bus stop to my workplace.

Once I get to work I walk from job to job around the estate as issues are reported, sometimes carrying equipment, up and down millions of flights of stairs, and then I repeat the bus trip home, usually getting home at 8 pm. By the time I've walked the dog, I am usually too tired to eat dinner and just drag myself to bed.

I've gotten up today to sort the garden, clean the kitchen, spend time with the dog and catch up on all the college work I should have done during the week but I ache. Everything aches. My knees ache, my thighs ache, my elbows and shoulders ache, my feet and ankles and back hurt and all I wanna do is curl up in front of Netflix with a bottle of wine and then go back to bed.

Is this what life is now? Do I live in a constant state of exhaustion and pain or will my body get used to my new job and adjust?

Not really. My mum calls in to see him/let him into the garden between 10-11 am, 1 pm to 2:30 pm, and 5 pm to 5:30 pm.

If the weather is nice she sits in the garden with him but if it's not she potters about the house cleaning things, so while a dog walker would help with the dog it would leave me with more cleaning to do.

I agree with this, I'm 47 and have lost 2.5 stone, I'm now a healthy BMI (just). I feel so much better. Simple tasks were knackering me out, I was exhausted by the end of the day. My back and hips hurt and I had almost constant heartburn. It's all gone completely, I actually have energy.

You’ve got a really active job and your excess weight is putting huge strain on your cardiovascular system and joints. I’m a decade older than you and cover 20,000 steps a day on average and feel great : I think once you adjust to the new regime and lose a bit of weight you’ll feel great, it’s not all downhill from here. Can you physically rest up at the weekend but maybe do a bit of meal planning/prep/batch cooking?

I'm early forties, slim and fit and I could not do that day OP. I'd be absolutely shattered! A one-off maybe but regularly? Nope. It's too much for most people IMO/E.

If I were you, and with these long days (I assume it is well paid and/or you love it!) I'd make some huge salads or whatever healthy food you like and have them to just have a bowl of when I got in. Summer helps with fresh foods like that being more appealing.

Make sure your lunch is healthy but enough for energy. You'll lose the extra weight and become fitter and that will make all of your tasks/days easier.

But yes, that job would exhaust me and I've just ran 5 miles for fun (I know that's not far, it's just my daily routine!) And can bench press almost my own bodyweight.

I'd need a LOT of money to be getting up at 5:00 to lug stuff about all day kudos to you.

It looks like you have gone from one extreme to the other and have a very long day and physical work but are not very fit. I would still some blood tests but I think I will feel similar with that routine

I do a very physically demanding job and clock about 16,000-28,000 steps daily, honestly it just shatters me! I'm 10 stone and in my early 30s so I'd say that it's the amount of exercise that's making you so achey!
Make sure your eating plenty of protein and staying hydrated, I also am too tired for dinner by the time I get home so I eat a very large lunch instead. There is no rule saying you must eat dinner, remember that you still need calories and nutrients even if you are overweight, otherwise you'll have even less energy to do your job.

Well, that's a lot on your Mum too, calling around your house 3 times a day!
Blimey!!

It’s such a long day. I think some of your issue is exhaustion. Are you spending 4-5 hours a day commuting?

How long are the 2 bus journeys?

If either is less the 2 miles it may be quicker to walk it by the time you factor the waiting for transfer

That’s a hectic schedule at any weight and age. Would an electric bike help to get to work quicker without adding more exercise to your day?

I work in a job that requires around 15000 steps per day,

I also run 20-25 km per week on top of my steps

and I'm 50...

Im definitely not too tired to eat my dinner!!! Xx

My mum is a saint. I'm very, very fortunate to have such a great mum but to be clear I don't ask her to do any of this. My original plan was to get a dog walker and mum call in once a day to check on DD who is not well but she insisted. I have made it clear she can back out anytime she wants if she thinks it is too much and I'll get a dog walker. I also don't expect her to clean while she is here, she just does it.

My bus takes between 2-3 hours each way depending on which buses I get. I get on the bus at 6:40 am and get to work at 8:50, it's not within walking distance. I finish work at 5 and get on the bus at about 5:05pm and get home between 7:15pm and 8:30pm depending on how many buses are cancelled. The service into my town is frequently cancelled or late.

I am learning to drive. This is the only job I could find that I could actually get to on public transport.

That commute sounds exhausting for anyone

I really admire you. Most people wouldn’t bother!

When I took the job, I took it on the basis the commute would be 1.5 hours each way, however, in practice, it doesn't work that way because the buses in and out of my town are so unreliable.

The commute I originally planned was to get the bus at 7:15 am which would get me to my transfer by 8:15 and my bus into work was at 8:20 which would have got me to work by 8:47 am, however, the 7:15 bus is always late and I miss my transfer so I now get an earlier bus which takes a different, longer route.

I can get an earlier bus into work once I get to the transfer stop but that gets me to work too early so I usually wander to Gregg's and grab a coffee to drink in the park.

I appreciate your commute is really long is that due to distance or just awkward buses? I’m wondering whether an ebike would be a good investment. There are schemes where you can get one for free for a week. I used to do a 14km commute in about 45 minutes admittedly it was very flat and U wanted to turn up non- sweaty so I wasn’t very fast.

It's due to awkward buses. They're late and/or canceled. An e-bike would probably work but I can't afford one and by the time I save up, I should, hopefully be driving. I already have a car I can use so I don't need to save for that.

Once I'm driving it's a 40-minute drive each way, or less if I change my hours to 8-4 and miss the traffic.

Well you're describing a VERY specific set of circumstances that won't apply to many people!
I don't need to catch 3 buses to get to work! I don't work in an estates job where I'm walking about all day carrying equipment!
For what it's worth, I'm 40 and do a tonne of both formal and informal exercise and dont have a single ache or pain. And DH retrained into an intensely physical trade at 40. We've always been fit though.
Yes, you'll get used to it.

I think you’re doing great under the circumstances. If it’s a step up career wise and learning to drive will help that commute (which sounds horrific), then for now I’d say look after yourself as best you can and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Are there any short cuts you make? Shower at night, easier hair style, good quality convenience food? I know your mum pops in to see the dog, but get a walker in for the big daily walk or sign up to Borrow My Doggy.

I'm 48 and a similar size to you. I work 48.5 hours a week and can cover 10k steps a day, but my commute is five minute drive which is a godsend. I’m going to be starting an OU degree later this year so will simplify all meals and reserve ‘proper’ cooking for the weekends. As it is I do the bear minimum of housework during the week and have a quick blitz on a Friday night and an hour or two on a Sunday morning.

I’m hitting the gardening today but also need to see my mum this weekend and get an assignment in for the short course I’m doing so I’m just prioritising what needs to happen to dry weather and if the rest has to wait, so be it.

I think good on you for taking the job and sticking with it. I’m not surprised you’re exhausted with the long commute and lots of exercise. I agree with a lot of the tips to get up a bit later eg prep as much food as you can on sundays. Also agree more protein, hopefully your wrap has lots of chicken on tuna or
similar. And I would recommend vivo barefoot shoes, they have helped me and others with any aches (although take a bit of getting used to). Good luck with the lessons as the lack of bus will massively help!

also apparently once you’re over 40 you are in peri menopause so I’d read about that for other tips to boost energy. I’ve just turned 40 so not an expert but that's what I’ve been told by health professionals.

I had a job where I had to get up at 5am and I never, ever got used to it. My body just didn't adjust.

Once I was out of that job I was fine. I'm overweight and walk 10k steps a day, cycle 10km a day on exercise bike, and run up and down 5 flights of stairs many times a day for my job. I also work late when I get home. And even the longest day of that, or doing it 7 days in a row, I'm never as exhausted as when I had to get up at 5am for an hour long commute and did nothing else after work and went to bed early.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you think you've got it sore just now, just wait until the hot flushes hit 🙈😂

I'd pay a dog walker for a few months to take that pressure off you, so you've time to eat of an evening. I'd get a cleaner weekly so you don't have to do that on Saturdays. Until your body has adjusted to your new regime.

A half hour soak in a hot bath before bed will help with aching. Don't turn to wine, that's not going to make you feel better in the long run and sets up unhealthy binging habits. Instead give yourself a break from the pain each weekend with ibuprofen together with paracetamol or cocodamol, during the day. Don't take the absence of pain to mean you can do more, because it's still there - just being masked by the painkillers. You still need to rest over the weekend and get a good night's sleep, so you can return to work Monday feeling refreshed.

Honestly you'll get used to it! You'll be amazed.

40 is young. Sounds like this is going to be great for you!

In 3 months time you'll have more energy and you will have figured the food bit out better.

You'll probably start thinking you could add in a hobby 🤪

How long is it taking you to style your hair daily?

Would you be able to do a little batch cooking at the weekend so you wouldn't end up eating nothing when you get home? Even soup and bread would be good.

I'd skip the bottle of wine, tempting though it might be.