CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?

[YaMuvva]

New thread! Last one was here
www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5049200-cf-allotment-thief-part-3-the-plot-thickens-and-auditions-begin-for-the-west-end-musical?page=38&reply=135136744

So a quick update.

DH dropped me off for my surgery this morning then dropped the kids at school before heading to the allotment. Babs was there gardening as were some other people on their own plots. All her crap was still there

DH went up and reminded her that she needs to be off the plot by the 20th. She said that she is awaiting advice from her solicitor to see if she can challenge us. She also said if the solicitor says she has to be off, she will be gone by the 20th but isn’t giving it up without checking if she has rights first. She did a fair bit of guilt tripping to DH about how she has spent 10 years being part of a community and having a hobby and she now has to give it all up but he held strong and told her, unless she comes back with a legitimate legal claim her property will be off the allotment by the 21st - wether it’s removed by her or by him.

However - enter Penfold stage right

Penfold is what we are calling the allotment neighbour who marched over from the other side of the plots (because that’s who he looks like). He started shouting at DH saying “You’re a bully! Fancy picking on an old lady and taking her allotment off her after all her years of hard work”. He pointed out it’s his allotment now and Penfold said that “just because your name is on a piece of paper it doesn’t give you the right to steal it off it’s rightful owner”. He then start saying “What do you know about gardening pretty boy? These allotments should be for real gardeners not pretty boys like you”

When DH told me this I laughed so hard I thought my stitches may burst 😂 DH IS very pretty but he’s also mid-40’s and hasn’t been called pretty in many many years. We are in semi-rural Yorkshire though and a man wearing a top that isn’t either blue black or white is considered a feminine.

When DH stated he does actually know about gardening, Penfold was all “Yeah right yeah right all you know about is putting your make up on” 🤣🤣 and said how these allotment owners have been around for decades he can’t just barge in and kick people out. DH said he was half expecting Penfold to say “this is a local allotment for local people”.

Then it was BABS of all people who told Penfold to STFU. Not quite those words but she said “oh do calm down Nigel”. The other plot owners just kept their heads down apparently. DH took off in the end but he is considering buying a Danger Mouse t-shirt to wear when he gardens. I’ve told him I can help him apply his make up 😂.

Anyway Babs’s words don’t exactly fill me with confidence but it’s better than flat out refusing to leave I suppose. I’m absolutely confident that legally she hasn’t a leg to stand on, but that doesn’t mean some dodgy solicitor won’t claim otherwise for a bit of easy money off her. Either way unless there is a claim that has legs (highly unlikely) DH will be round on the 21st to set up his stuff. PP were right about insane allotment owners - but we are just gonna have to lump it and not let Penfold ruin our time there.

Definitely visit looking frail. It will take the wind out of their sails.

If you get your allotment people will just do things to make it impossible for you to use it. You’ll need a barbed wire fence and security cameras. Can’t you just use a bit of your garden? Falling out with your allotment neighbors is never going to end well…..

'If'?

I reckon the OP can take Nigel.

I would doubt that. My experience of allotment people is that most just want to get on with their own business.

You do seem to get one barrack room lawyer who has form for inventing 'rules'. The others were staying out of it because he has tried it on with them about growing the wrong sort of carrots.

Once you are on the plot you will soon find people get used to you being there.

I was in labour ward for movement monitoring when I was about 6 months. Someone on the ward, in labour, was repeatedly screaming- ‘I’m dying!’.

I was ready to call a halt to the whole pregnancy malarkey there and then!

To be fair I realised when it was my turn she might have been screaming ’I’m trying!’ In response to repeated demands to push!

It's their land. THEIR LAND - they paid for it, they own it!

Morning all

Managed to catch about 4 hours I’m hopefully being discharged today. Fingers crossed!

To the PP nurse / told the staff about my pins and needles they’ve checked everywhere and I’m fine but will keep and eye on me if it continues

I reckon going by DH’s description I could DEFINITELY take on Penfold 🤣

Gemma's reasoning (backed heavily by her mum and their friends) is that 'everyone knows' she has been talking about this since the plans for the new houses were released, and 'anyone local' would have know to speak to her before considering taking that house. Apparently 'everyone' also knows that if no one took the HA houses they would end up being sold so that's not relevant. I don't think she has actually spoken to Ben and Holly but seems to be relying on local gossip and dirty looks to convey her displeasure. Apparently this shows how common decency and respect is lost when people from outside the area take over. BTW, Ben and Holly both grew up in the nearest town, less than 5 miles away.

If Babs is really seeking legal advice, which I am somewhat sceptical of (will set her back a couple of hundred pounds at the very least) they'd have come back to her by now with the options the OPs lawyer already shared: offer to buy, ask to rent, or maybe share it. I'll bet she's considering which of these she can live with, which is why she told Nigel to pipe down. My money is that on 19 May the OP will be given some kind of "offer".

Glad to hear you're on your way home!

I do feel for Babs now that she has been acting rationally, this is all on Sally seller.

Maybe pretty boy can grow some giant marrows to prove his worth to the other allotment owners 😂

Loving the updates OP.

I hope you are feeling better.

I'm thinking Penfold needs a power ballad solo in the show all about how he has admired Babs from afar, and was building up the courage to ask her to share his flask of tea and a Garibaldi biscuit but now he will never get the chance, and all because of a pretty boy.

The chorus could be something like:

Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy
Leave Babs alone
I've pined for her for 10 years
And now I will allotment alone

I'm wondering about the layouts of these allotments. Like, if they're long and thin, running north-south, everyone could give up a small piece at the end of theirs to create an allotment for Babs running east-west, if you see what I mean.

You wouldn't necessarily have to participate in this act of largesse. You absolutely do not owe her anything. Just if it were feasible, suggest that all of Babs' friends cobble together an allotment for her. I think you'll find that absolutely no one would want to do this. And you can say you completely understand that they want the enjoyment of their own property, just like you do. No one will be able to speak out against you without being a hypocrite.

Although I think Babs has behaved terribly (she could have opened with 'Oh dear, is there anything we can work out' rather than 'you'll have to fight me for it'), I still think that (fake outward) sympathy for Babs is the best move. Just keep repeating that Sally sold you the land and said (via the paperwork) that the allotment would have vacant possession. 'Poor Babs, Sally sold the land out from underneath her' and all that.

I hope you have a smooth recovery, OP!

Exactly!

And I would bet the farm that if anyone suggested that Penfold and his less than merry band worked something out with Babs so she could have a slice of theirs instead, silence would prevail.

This reminds me of something that happened years ago to a work mate of mine. After much agonising they decided to sell off some family land and secure their kids’ future with the proceeds (millions£). The local villagers froze them out and never forgave them when the builders moved in. I told them, as if the locals would have turned down the offer! Such hypocrites.

All the best for your recovery OP and I hope your DH enjoys experimenting with eyeliner.

Gah I have to stay for a bit longer, hopefully will still be out at some point today though. It’s hotter than the pits of hell here, would much rather be getting abused by Penfold as I sunbathe on my allotment 🤣

Yes, ask if you can take a hospital gown home with you and wear it , together with your compression stockings, under a lady dressing gown of doom as your husband gently supports you on an allotment visit.

How are your acting skills, if you come over a little woozy your husband could call out for help from the fellow allotmenteers, a chair! some water! some reviving mint or lavender to waft under your nose! ………..A brave smile, a breathless cough, a frail waft of your hands ( memo keep that hospital bracelet on, don’t cut it off, though sadly they won’t probably let you go home with a cannula) and you will have them eating out of your hands.

I’m so invested in this whole allotment saga !!! I hope you are on YOUR allotment soon OP 😊

🤣🤣🤣
I did theatre studies at school, I was absolutely crap but can definitely do Am Dram level acting 😂

Another one that doesn’t believe in Babs’ solicitor. She’s been Mrs Head In The Sand about this whole thing, from not checking the legal situation when the for sale boards went up to ignoring when the op moved in. If she was going to get legal advice I think she would have got it by now. It’s also possible she has already been to one, been told she hasn’t a leg to stand on and is shopping around now trying to find another one that will tell her what she wants to hear.

Babs will probably instruct her solicitor (if they are not fictitious) to act at the last minute, to drag out the process until her rhubarb is in season.

AmDram! The cheek of it. I will have you know that I sat next to Dame Maggie Smith in a cafe once and learned all I know from her, and the scenario I describe is almost exactly how she would play it. Sniffs in a derisory manner, tosses head, gives hard stare, stalks out of the room and slams door .

(Pops back in, how was that, do you think I ought to do the hard stare first before the head toss, and what about the sniff, is it too much?)

I’m being discharged, woohoo!

Congratulations.

Glad you're being discharged!

Penfold definitely has a bee in his bonnet doesn't he?!
Whilst I feel a bit sorry for Babs, the bottom line is, it isn't her allotment. If Penfold is so outraged then he needs to give his allotment to her. After all, it's just a piece of paper that says he owns it! What's a piece of paper amongst friends!

It's a good thread this, but honestly all the spitting out of wine and calling for 'classics' is just weird 🤨