What time is your Year 10 allowed out until on week days?

[Mooche]

Hi,

I am having a battle with my teen DD (15) at the moment, I dont like her out later then 6.30-7pm during the summer weekdays when it is still light (and thats providing homework or revision done) but shes been telling me lately that she is so embarrased to leave "so early" as none of her friends have to go that early.
In winter its even earlier (ie when it gets dark)
Part of my worry is because its not like shes at a friend's house or shopping or cinema, mostly she will be in a park or street.
Appreciate I am possibly molly coddling too much.

What are the rules in your house?

School finished for us at 3, DD would usually go into town and have a coffee with friends before getting the bus so she’d arrive home at around 5. Chill time, dinner at 6, leave for the stables at 7. By the time she’d ridden, mucked out etc it was already nearing 9 still with homework and general getting ready for the next day to do. There weren’t enough hours in the day for her at that age and it’s not as if she had a huge amount of extracurriculars either. I genuinely have never met a teen with a huge amount of free time in the evenings - it’s just not normal where we are

So your DD does 2 hours of socialising between 3 and 5. Other teens have differently organised days and do their socialising between 7 and 9 (say). It's not about having more free time -just using it differently.

I didn't let either of mine hang out in the park or on the streets when they were in Year 10. I don't agree with aimless hanging around. I was perfectly happy for them to hang out at friends' homes or here, or to go out to do something specific.

I think you can say 'if it was an organised activity the curfew would be later, but I'm not happy with you just hanging around the park.'

This thread shows you that parents vary.

My DS15 is allowed out till 10pm and DD 11 till 9pm

(don't know what school years that is in England)

630/7pm for a 15 yr old seems incredibly early.

DD15 doesn’t really do unstructured socialising, and evening activities, tutoring and a family meal don’t really leave time for it. She’s at Scouts and choir practice until 9pm two nights a week, and is really tired after that.

If she goes out later, it’s to dinner, coffee, shopping or a film with friends and then I don’t mind when she finishes (not on a school night) but we’d collect her, she wouldn’t come home by herself.

I wouldn’t be happy at all with aimless hanging about on streets. There’s too much that can go wrong with that, for boys or girls.

It's really very normal for teenagers, who may not have money to do stuff, or have parents who are able to accommodate hobbies, or prefer to spend time with friends than at organised sports or other activities.
Adults go and have a coffee with their friends, teenagers prefer to go to the park with a football (or not).

Anyway, I'd be happy for my 15yo to be out until nearly bedtime if he's happy, not bothering anyone and checking in with me if plans change.

Mine have said "knocking for [friend], see ya, I've got my phone" and off they go. We are in a village and hanging around in the park is fine imo.
Or they go to a mate's house, or back here.
If they got up to anything I'd soon know!
I'm quite surprised so many of you know exactly what your 15 yo's are doing all the time.

I'm quite surprised so many of you know exactly what your 15 year olds are doing all of the time

Those of us who live in a busy town or a city, we need to know.

Considering that all of DD’s friends are relatively far away (big grammar catchment) and she needs a lift to get to them we have to know where she’s going! Fair enough if you live in a small village/town but anywhere else to some degree parent involvement is needed until they can drive

if she was at someone’s house I’d say that’s far too early but hanging round parks. Nope.

could you have her friends round yours?

Yes, that's true (and something I quite like about living rurally).
When it comes to parties and sleepovers or going into the city, I need to be involved at some point.
I was thinking more of when he's hanging about at home in the village.