Are schools to controlling or snow flake parents/kids

[Silverlinning]

I have noticed lots said about schooling lately. One of my children did not cope well in school and I had to take him out . My other children were fine.

But I am wondering if schools are becoming a bit to controlling. Some examples I can think of . At my Dd school if their home work is due to be in by Friday. If its not done by Wednesday. They get made to go to homework class on the Thursday to do Fridays home work. So basically Fridays home work has to be done by Wed.

In the summer when it's hot kids are still made to wear awful blazers. Whilst the teachers are in clothing suited for the weather and are In control of if kids can take their blazers off.

Toilets are mostly locked and children can't access them unless it's break time. Which does not seem right especially if girls on their period its heavy etc.

They get detentions if they are slightly late or if they forget a ruler. If they can't do pe due to a known injury they still have to bring in their PE kit .

Apprently this is to get them used to adult world. But adults are not treated that way are they ?

Last thing is children mostly who have school dinners sometimes don't get to eat because the ques are to long they spend their whole break quing for food and sometimes go without due to lunch ending.

It's like this at my DD's school. I don't think adult life does dictate quite the same parameters but I think school believe they are preparing them for the working world..... I don't agree with some of the things they do but when parents put views across they seem to fall on deaf ears. So I feel your frustration.

Surely you just told them your daughter would not be wearing a blazer if she was too hot?? And that would be that.And if they tried to force her still after that then move schools.

Not allowing time for lunch, access to the toilet when they need it, and making pupils wear blazers in hot weather is violation of basic human rights.

I would be removing my child from that school and making a formal complaint pronto.

I work with secondary schools and their pupils alot in my job....so many issues.

Makes me really angry.

No snowflake parenting about it, it's simply about sticking up for your child's rights.

If its against basic human rights . How comes so many schools gey away With it? Especially the blazer thing that seems to be happening alot.

@Twolittleloves thankfully they did relax some of the rules as she moved up the school.
The thing is her school was a Local Authority school next door to my house. Her local school. I shouldn't have to search around for a different school and hope they have places when we live next door to the local school because they were petty over the uniform.
LA schools should be for the local children and they shouldn't have over the top philosophies about uniforms.

But actually at primary age its not just about the 'teaching' is it, they are providing the all round daytime care practically and emotionally for that child too, 5 days a week, so it is important that they have a holistic understanding of the child's needs and background too.

My ds16 says his school is the new North Korea, it Got to the point they shut the main gate and had all the kids filter through the hall so they could uniform check, they are still doing it now. I understand the basis of uniform, but what socks they are wearing is bloody ridiculous, 90% of the school wear Nike socks so it’s not like anyone is getting bullied because of brands etc. thier colour socks doesn’t effect the ability to learn.

dd11 (year 6) came home today and said her school is North Korea now. Apparently they told the kids that once they walk through first set of school gates (they have 2 gates) they aren’t permitted to use thier mobiles. They all usually go on them whilst they wait for the 2nd gate to open. I asked why. Apparently the head said because they are fed up of the teachers saying morning and the kids paying no attention because they are all on thier phones. which is Fair enough.. but all that’s gonna happen now is they will all wait outside the main gates until it’s time for 2nd gate to open, so they can use thier phones.

No, primary schools are exactly that - primary education. They do provide emotional and practical care but they are not parents - a lot of disgruntled parents seem to forget this.

Most schools, legally, will have to make some changes and/or different rules/regulations for those students who need a little extra care - however, they are in agreement with parents/carers.

The OP raises some good points; a lot that I agree with - however, you don't know that the toilets are actually locked unless you've walked those halls yourself. Which, you can - just request from the school that you'd like to see what goes on as a concerned parent.

For context, lots of schools will 'lock' for certain parts of the day but they are shortly unlocked to avoid those truanting and causing mischief. Allowing students to be in lessons; to then ask to go to the toilet - there is a safeguarding element to this, you can't just up and leave a room when you like.

I'm 100% in the camp that a lot of schools now are too controlling.

When I was in school the common belief was that uniform rules were there so that students would have something insignificant to rebel over. I never wore the right fabric and my shoes weren't quite regulation, other kids wore their ties too long or too short. I don't remember anyone ever getting a detention over something like this. It seems to that the zero tolerance stuff is counter-productive. It might enforce conformism for some kids, but it also introduces so much arbitrariness and breakdown of trust between the pupils and teachers.

You know... I never thought of it that way but you're so right. That's why I was so anxious at school. And lo and behold, I still have anxiety as an adult. Hooray.

i used female teachers as several pp, including teachers, have said the male ones are often required to wear a jacket and tie whereas the female teachers can wear a cooler dress.

So calm your tits.

Schlepping in PE kit when you're off PE? file that under batshit

PE teacher here. Just for the record, we ask that students do this so that they can still be involved in the lesson in a way that safely accommodates their injury such as judge, timekeeper, coach or scorekeeper. By dressing in kit they feel more part of the lesson - we know this because that's what student voice has told us - and if we are outside they don't get their uniform muddy or damp if it rains. This practice keeps students engaged and ensures continuation of learning.

The other main factor is that, just as schools can't afford to employ a toilet monitor, nor can they afford to employ a sickroom monitor to staff a room for injured kids.

Obviously if a student has an injury that would make changing into kit difficult such as a broken limb, they wouldn't be expected to change and would only take part in a bystander role if safe and appropriate.

Agreed, there are some draconian rules out there including lining up outside classrooms with shoulder touching the wall (!) but this tends to be the bigger MATs and not a widespread practice. Please understand that we are not there to make kids' lives a misery, our vocation is to help students to learn and grow.

Totally get the toilet thing. But by the same token bleeding through clothes in school that would be awful. Or a bad stomach etc. I get the possible bullying vaping etc . But you would think something could be sorted.

It could be done with tech or more basically letting class teachers have the key, so only one child can leave the room at a time. The problem is them not locking the door after them but you could sort that by fitting a lock like you get in hotels.

@Happyinarcon so true.

That's why I like the consequences system.

C1 - name on board
C2 - tick next to name
C3 - behaviour detention that evening
C4 and C5 are given only be SLT

It resets every class, in theory every child in the class could get a C1 and C2 in every lesson.

The lunch thing is truly horrendous, doesn’t anyone complain or offer solutions, imagine if this is the only main meal some DC have. My DD is the only one at secondary school now as eldest at 6th form college. They had a stupid system where if you lost your food card you had to queue for a very long time in a separate queue for temporary one, older kids pushed in so young year 7s would move further and further back in the queue- the result was no lunch. I did draw this to their attention and they asked me what they should do about it, I am a solution based person so that is fair enough and suggested if they know the details you should just be able to tell catering staff your name. Things didn’t change for a good half year but others must have said something so the system has changed to my suggestion now. It is not a huge issue as this is only for kids that do not have biometric payment, I don’t want my child to have that so she has a card.

uniform, they don’t have blazers so not an issue.

The loos have a loo warden and she will be there to get people to hurry up. The children are allowed two loo passes for lesson time a day but no more than that unless health issue. Certain loos for certain year groups.

Detentions for lateness are based upon 3 x late over a term I think. However, DD has a Spanish form tutor who seems to expect them to stay the time they are late by so even if that is 2 minutes. I think that is more reasonable.

No, p.e very relaxed if you have a note you don’t need to do P.e like when I was at school.

The adult world thing is an odd argument other than lateness, even prior to the adult world my son’s 6th form is very slack, he loves it compared to school, he thinks schools should be organised like college. Tbh the college is one of the best in the country despite the more casual approach but ultimately you need motivated children for that to work so I’m not sure if you could apply that to school system.

My DD’s school is a state comprehensive that listen to the community I think, they even changed a rule about laddered tights so it isn’t a problem anymore. A teacher was measuring skirts but that has gone now so no consequences for that. The only problem is that one teacher DD has evidently doesn’t agree with these changes and is constantly commenting on the girl’s skirt length and asks whether their parents can afford some new tights.

Because sadly the rights of children are never upheld or questioned in the same way the rights of adults are :(