Do you miss cuddles from your older kids

[idreamoftoddlersleepytime]

My oldest is nearly 11, and physically flinches now and does not want cuddles from her mum or dad when you go in for a hug. The middle one is 8 and still likes a cuddle (for now). The youngest, nearly 4, is snuggling into me right now. I'm watching trash TV with him though to make it happen 😂.

Now I see that it's time limited, I make the most of it, but when it stops, do you miss it? Or does the fun of having a more balanced grown relationship with them take its place?

And the youngest has declared that he's had enough and is going to play... so I best go and do the washing up .

My almost adult teen still hugs me everyday

@Kalevala maybe it's just a stage then for oldest. She is getting into the "embarrassing parents" phase. 🤗

My twenty somethings and teens are very cuddly. Maybe just a preference of your children?

My dd declared at 13 that she was no longer a cuddly person and she stopped. It was a bit upsetting - she'll give me the odd hug now but generally she did change at that age - started to enjoy her solitude. I sometimes miss who she was but she's now less of a people pleaser, more assertive, confident and determined and I happy for her.

I have to ask for one from my 16th year old and he usually gives me one voluntarily himself especially when he wants something!

My adult DDs snuggle up if they are home, well into 20's!

Mine are early 20’s and I still get hugs, they never stopped.

I really miss it. My eldest stopped wanting cuddles a few years ago and my youngest has stopped just in the past couple of months. I miss the closeness of things like watching tv with their legs over me etc, but I accept it’s a natural part of growing up.

My 13 year old doesn't hug me that often but she does like to snuggle with me on the sofa and watch tv sometimes which is nice. I think you appreciate it more when they do. I do still have my 8 year old who loves a cuddle though.

Mine went through a "it isn't cool" stage, but grew out of that, and are very cuddly in their 20s

I miss it. There's the odd one but nothing like it used to be (when I was all "touched out" and it was a bit too much at times!)
If I miss it too much I think I'll get a dog 🙂

Ds1 never cuddled much and now gives a semi-awkward side-one hug, but I appreciate it all the more because I know how uncomfortable it is for him.

DS2 is 16 and still gives big hugs. Sometimes he ruffles my hair, because he's taller than me and it make us both laugh. And he'll also occasionally reach out and squeeze my hand when we're sitting watching TV.

Just down to the individual child I guess.

My teens 14/17 DD's still hug. A bit less than they used to and I don't force it but if they come mooching into the kitchen I often get a side hug.
I find I have to casually ask/initiate with the arm up and they happily hug.
I think we can lose it if we stop asking all together. That said sometimes they just go "no" and wander off.
One day my 14 yr old held my hand wandering around Manchester and I was holding it back thinking "oh my I am honored"
I know you must respect your teen but don't stop offering a hug even if she says no or shies away just go "ok night" etc. I found they do want close sofa snuggles or hugs sometimes and if they have broken off the hugging they can go shy asking for that moment of closeness.
I pat the sofa and waggle my blanket like a desperate pet owner sometimes and they might sigh but then later come in for a close sit and hug.
But I always laugh and never make it like they must hug me.

I found that as DS got older he became cuddly again. He went from a really cuddly small boy to almost flinching at any physical affection as he hit his teens and I found that stage really hurtful. He's 19 now and is always giving me cuddles and will just randomly come to me for a hug which I love.

My 15 year old has just sat on my knee whilst we did biology revison!
And the 13 year old comes for a cuddle before breakfast most days.
Let them come to you, don't force it, keep offering.

Yes very much. My older teen got exactly as you describe at about age 10. All contact repelled - offering is just annoying. I found it very hard to adjust to and still miss it. I think some kids are just like this - but my cat is very cuddly.

My teen ds, 18 hugs me willingly multiple times a day. He was very affectionate and cuddly from
a baby onwards and vice versa.

I really miss it. DS is 22 now and submits to a hug when he has to. It’s a bit like hugging a lamppost. He’s just like his dad though so I should be surprised really.

Depends on the child and the stage I think. I have an 18 and a 20 yo. Both give spontaneous hugs and snuggle up on the sofa. Iirc both cooled off for a while around 11-14 ish so it may just be a phase :-)

13yr old is like this at the moment but my older teenage DC are very huggy, the oldest in particular.

Mine are 18 and 20 and still get loads of hugs!

My dd is 13 and still comes for cuddles multiple times per day and sits in my knee with her arms around my neck even though she's the same size. She's always been super cuddly and is my only so we're super close. I don't know if it will change and when.

Yes. My ds1 (now aged 18) has always been cuddly and only stopped hugging me in front of his mates when he started college.

Ds2 stopped hugging me at all when he got to secondary school (I get one hug a year on mothers day) and gets embarrassed by the existence of his parents and brothers.

DS2 never stopped, DS1 repelled all affection as a teenager. Sadly when he could have most done with it in fact.