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I thought dd was dead

36 replies

Justanotherday32 · 05/05/2024 17:47

I just wrote a big post to give some background but I deleted it . As I think I just want to say what happend yesterday.

Yesterday dd messaged me to say she's blocked her boyfriend she's had enough he's a prick etc . Sounded like she was just sounding. Then she sent a message saying the fucking prick has let himself in my house. When they have argued in the passed he's gone to collect his stuff . There's been no problems at all. Just a bit of sulking. He gets his stuff and gos.

So yesterday left it 10 mins i messaged dd to check on her no reply. Rang down her phone several Times no reply. I was getting ready to go to her house at the same time as calling her. Eventually she picked up. She was crying and screaming down the phone so much . It was distorting the phone she couldn't talk properly through fear. Managed to tell me he was hurting her. She was screaming no , stop it please stop . Don't do it please . Then there was a massive scream and the phone went dead ... I honestly though dd was dead . We called 99 during this time .

Adult ds was arriving at my house as I was about to leave. We saw my neighbour and asked her to drive us to dd place. Which she did. Police were already there and her now ex had done a runner. 4 people had called the police.

It tuned out that he had . Thrown her against the wall which caused her to smack her head. He hit her with a wooden broom. Sat on her so she could not moved and held her wrist so tight she could not move. He was threatening to kill her. In between all this he was saying he just wanted a hug . I also found out he had taken her phone from her put the speaker near her so I heard her crying out for help . Then he ended the call .

Hes out on bail now. A non molestation is being sorted out .

Apologies for any typos

OP posts:
FionnulaTheCooler · 05/05/2024 17:50

Your poor DD, that sounds terrifying. Her ex is utter scum of the earth and I hope he stays well away from her.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 05/05/2024 17:55

If this were my daughter, I would be having her back home for a while
I would be reassuring her that this is not her fault
I would be trying to keep her strong as there will be police statements that need taking / written etc.
There may be a Court case - I hope there is
and she needs to get an injunction out against him - x yards away from her home/place of work etc. - if such a thing is possible.

It goes without saying that the locks on her home need changing, and all his belongings need packing up and someone needs to take them somewhere ? his parents / a friends / the police station.

Thank goodness other people had called the police too.

TheSnakeCharmer · 05/05/2024 17:55

Bloody hell OP. I don't know what to say! How's she doing today? You must have been utterly terrified. Has DD got somewhere else to go? Personally I would not trust any orders for him to stay away. I think that it's better for her to leave the property. Even if locks were changed I would still be scared for her.
Have you contacted women's aid for advice/counselling etc? Other than that i have no advice. I'm sure someone with more experience will come along shortly. X

toosadto · 05/05/2024 17:56

How the fuck is he on bail. I'm literally sobbing reading this. Sending you power to help you be "there" for your children.

DelphiniumBlue · 05/05/2024 18:00

Out on bail? That's terrifying.

If he's still got keys, get the locks changed, and get an appointment for legal advice ASAP to get a non-molestation/personal protection order ( sorry, not sure of the current terminology)
Take photos of her injuries and get her to the GP so that they have a record too. Write down what happened whilst the details are still fresh - the police presumably have a statement but it's useful for her to have her own notes in readiness for any protection order application.
I'm so sorry this has happened to her.

MILTOBE · 05/05/2024 18:04

Who the hell thought it was a good idea to put him on bail?

Will she come to stay with you, OP? Does he have any criminal history at all?

You must have been absolutely terrified. Flowers

Justanotherday32 · 05/05/2024 18:11

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 05/05/2024 17:55

If this were my daughter, I would be having her back home for a while
I would be reassuring her that this is not her fault
I would be trying to keep her strong as there will be police statements that need taking / written etc.
There may be a Court case - I hope there is
and she needs to get an injunction out against him - x yards away from her home/place of work etc. - if such a thing is possible.

It goes without saying that the locks on her home need changing, and all his belongings need packing up and someone needs to take them somewhere ? his parents / a friends / the police station.

Thank goodness other people had called the police too.

Shes at my house now. We packed some stuff . And she's staying here for a bit . The police took her keys from him. Luckily enough she's in the process of doing a council exchange. He does not know where it is. So hopefully they gos through.

Statement have been taken. May be more I guess . Have already applied for a non molestation order.

OP posts:
Bearpawk · 05/05/2024 18:17

I'm so sorry that happened, absolutely terrifying and he could well have killed her or could so so next time if he gets near her again. What a psycho. Hope he gets sent down for a long time.

Justanotherday32 · 05/05/2024 18:18

TheSnakeCharmer · 05/05/2024 17:55

Bloody hell OP. I don't know what to say! How's she doing today? You must have been utterly terrified. Has DD got somewhere else to go? Personally I would not trust any orders for him to stay away. I think that it's better for her to leave the property. Even if locks were changed I would still be scared for her.
Have you contacted women's aid for advice/counselling etc? Other than that i have no advice. I'm sure someone with more experience will come along shortly. X

Sadly dd has been through this before so knows all the things that need to be done. Yes she's staying with me.

Shes better today. As can be. Been a mix of talking about the situation. Few jokes here and there.

OP posts:
Justanotherday32 · 05/05/2024 18:20

DelphiniumBlue · 05/05/2024 18:00

Out on bail? That's terrifying.

If he's still got keys, get the locks changed, and get an appointment for legal advice ASAP to get a non-molestation/personal protection order ( sorry, not sure of the current terminology)
Take photos of her injuries and get her to the GP so that they have a record too. Write down what happened whilst the details are still fresh - the police presumably have a statement but it's useful for her to have her own notes in readiness for any protection order application.
I'm so sorry this has happened to her.

This has all been done thank you 💐

OP posts:
Justanotherday32 · 05/05/2024 18:26

MILTOBE · 05/05/2024 18:04

Who the hell thought it was a good idea to put him on bail?

Will she come to stay with you, OP? Does he have any criminal history at all?

You must have been absolutely terrified. Flowers

Yes she's with me. Nope he does not have a history. Dd went through dv before, meeting him. social services were involved. They met her current ex on several occasions. Checks done . Had no concerns. Everything fine. Apart from the odd argument here and there where nothing bad has happened. But yesterday he flipped over nothing.

OP posts:
almay · 05/05/2024 18:31

OP is this the partner who told her he drank bleach a few weeks ago because she wanted to go on holidays? Sorry if I’m mixing you up with someone else just the background sounds familiar

WinterDeWinter · 05/05/2024 18:36

Oh my god OP, how absolutely horrific. I hope your DD can recover - this is about the most terrifying thing she could go through. but also, I wanted to say that you will be absolutely traumatised by having witnessed what you thought was her murder. You will need help to get over this I think, it's the kind of thing that changes you. I'm so sorry. Please when things have calmed down, help your daughter to access psychotherapy (not counselling) and make sure that you get the same help for yourself.

Bloody hell.

Justanotherday32 · 05/05/2024 19:13

WinterDeWinter · 05/05/2024 18:36

Oh my god OP, how absolutely horrific. I hope your DD can recover - this is about the most terrifying thing she could go through. but also, I wanted to say that you will be absolutely traumatised by having witnessed what you thought was her murder. You will need help to get over this I think, it's the kind of thing that changes you. I'm so sorry. Please when things have calmed down, help your daughter to access psychotherapy (not counselling) and make sure that you get the same help for yourself.

Bloody hell.

Thank you . Definitely need some calmness. Really grateful for the bank holiday.

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 05/05/2024 19:14

Is there children somewhere ? if she is fortunate enough to have a social housing property ? I guess she may have children.
Are they safe ?

otherwise it sounds as if the two of you have it ' sorted ' for now. which does sound a terrible thing to say but she is safe with you right now.
Sadly your daughter has been thru all this before.

StopStartStop · 05/05/2024 19:19

Shocking. I'm sorry. I hope you and your dd can be ok. It never really leaves but it can fade into the background. It just takes time.

DrJoanAllenby · 05/05/2024 19:24

As well as her ordeal, it must have been awful for you and your son not knowing what you would find when you got there and whilst you are being strong and proactive in helping your daughter now you may find later on that the trauma of it all catches up with you.

Justanotherday32 · 05/05/2024 19:28

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 05/05/2024 19:14

Is there children somewhere ? if she is fortunate enough to have a social housing property ? I guess she may have children.
Are they safe ?

otherwise it sounds as if the two of you have it ' sorted ' for now. which does sound a terrible thing to say but she is safe with you right now.
Sadly your daughter has been thru all this before.

Yes my grand children are here to.

Yes there's not much else we can do for now. Extremely scared though. As there will be a merlin report and I'm not sure what effect that will have on the children's care.

OP posts:
isthismylifenow · 05/05/2024 19:35

Omg OP I went cold reading your post.

I am so glad to hear she and the children are with you now.

And how he got out on bail I cannot wrap my head around.

Were the children there at the time?

Justanotherday32 · 05/05/2024 19:50

isthismylifenow · 05/05/2024 19:35

Omg OP I went cold reading your post.

I am so glad to hear she and the children are with you now.

And how he got out on bail I cannot wrap my head around.

Were the children there at the time?

I honestly was shitting myself. I was so relieved when I got there.

Baby gs slept through it. Older gs was in his room would have thought he would have heard it... dd managed to get away from him she went in gs bedroom and whispered go and tell next door to ring the police.

Forgot to add he got bail because there's no history, first offence. Etc ..

OP posts:
isthismylifenow · 05/05/2024 19:56

Justanotherday32 · 05/05/2024 19:50

I honestly was shitting myself. I was so relieved when I got there.

Baby gs slept through it. Older gs was in his room would have thought he would have heard it... dd managed to get away from him she went in gs bedroom and whispered go and tell next door to ring the police.

Forgot to add he got bail because there's no history, first offence. Etc ..

Edited

I can imagine OP. Just terrifying. I hope they are able to stay with you until the house swap comes through.

I do think you will have to assume eldest grandchild heard everything, so I'm sure they will benefit from talking to someone once things have settled.

Justanotherday32 · 05/05/2024 20:04

isthismylifenow · 05/05/2024 19:56

I can imagine OP. Just terrifying. I hope they are able to stay with you until the house swap comes through.

I do think you will have to assume eldest grandchild heard everything, so I'm sure they will benefit from talking to someone once things have settled.

I'm thinking for her ti stay with me till them. She's due to go on holiday. So that a week away . Them half term will be coming up . Time that's up moving day will be close. Social services will be about to
So she's staying here because we think they will advice that.

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 05/05/2024 20:41

Is he the father of the youngest child ? I do so hope not.

Is there anyone else that lives with you i.e. your son that you mentioned.

does he know where you live ?

MintyCedric · 05/05/2024 20:50

What a piece of shit…I would want to kill the fucker if that was my daughter.

Obviously not great advice.

I hope you and your DD and ga skids are getting all the support you need and he gets a bloody rude awakening in court and an even bigger one in prison at some point.

Justanotherday32 · 05/05/2024 20:50

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 05/05/2024 20:41

Is he the father of the youngest child ? I do so hope not.

Is there anyone else that lives with you i.e. your son that you mentioned.

does he know where you live ?

He is the father they were together around 3 years. He won't be allowed to see baby alone . Social services won't allow that anyway. Dd is not allowing him to see baby until a proper plan in put into place.

My adult son does not live with me. He does know where we live. He's not likely to come here

OP posts: