In presence of school bully-what do I say if she speaks to me?

[raspberrycordial]

So currently at child activity. School bully, who used to wait with her gang of cronies for me (me at middle school-her at high school) after school to beat me up-she never caught me luckily, but she was here last week too and is going to be here regularly.

She made my life hell and for no reason other than a boy in her year liked me.

I have no intention of approaching her but if she says anything to me (I think she recognises me) do I feign ignorance as to who she is? Or do I need a witty comeback to shame her? (She's with her mum watching her daughter)

I agree with "sorry do I know you?" Being a bit much and no one really says that. If she does engage and suggests you know each other just be polite and then say "I'm so sorry I feel like I recognise your face but just can't place you." Just makes her know that she hasn't had a lasting effect on you, even if she has.

When she says we know each other from school, just say "oh my memory is failing me today I really don't remember you" then chat as if you've just met 😀

Bullies and "cool kids" think everyone knows/remembers them. Will be a shock to the system when you have no idea who she is 😂

I’d pretend i didn’t know her. And if she tries to explain then I’d say no sorry, I don’t remember you. Make her feel unimportant .

Bollocks with playing dumb.

If approached I would say ‘I remember you’ but nothing else.

You don’t need to be afraid anymore. Hold your head high.

she is probably a different person now, you have both grown up. Forget it, just be polite if she speaks to you, as you would to anyone

Be polite and disinterested, don’t pretend not to know her. She’ll see straight through it. You never know, she might apologise. My school bully did, she was in tears when I said I forgave her.

“You were a horrific bully. Either you’re going to apologise or this conversation is over.”

My school bully is a loner now. Has mental health issues. I saw her mom and sister in town. I always liked her sister as they lived near us. My family sort of knew her family. Her mom was aware of what she was like. So we had a conversation in the street like hello u ok etc. Her mom asked me if I would go and see the bully as she had no friends. I said no as she made my life hell. She used to spit on me and do awful things. Think they were a bit shocked I brought it up. But I am glad I did.

Tell her to fuck herself

Killing with kindness never works.
Pretending you don't recognise them is bullshit, they know you do.
Shooting the breeze with her accomplishes nothing.

So..
"Hello..." she says,
"Don't talk to me you fucking utter cunt, fuck off and leave me alone." Then grab them about the neck, kick them in shins, slap them woth a moist fish and punch them until their relatives wouldn't recognise them...

that gets the message across... 👍

...

(P.s. - it's better to do and say that in your head though, and then just don't interact or respond at all in real life.. Just blank them and walk away.)

The girl who bullied my friends and me seems to have forgotten she was a bully. She’s all over fb now declaring how horrendous bullies are and how they ruin lives. Her own daughter appears to be being bullied at school which is very sad but I have strong urges to type “karma”

Yes my bully used to march up to school shouting about bully's confront parents in the playground etc etc she was and still is an absolute loon! Our kids at school was before Facebook but I'd imagine she'd be all over that!

Saying "oh hi x, are you still a bullying troll?"

Worked for me.

Got an apology after a shocked pause, then embarrassed look.

There is no need to be friendly to your bully. But if you call out the behaviour she won't try it again if still behaving that way.

A few like that from my school. Saw a post in a community fb group about how X school is full of bullies and "girls are such bitches these days" and they "shouldn't be allowed in public if they couldn't behave like decent human beings and treat others with respect"

I have a very vivid memory of this woman at 13 years old dragging a girl round the school field and stamping on her for no reason. Took 3 teachers to get her off. It wasn't one off behaviour either, she was awful to everyone not in her clique.

Girls aren't just bitches "these days" Becky.

To answer your question op I would ignore unless she speaks to you first. I would quietly remind her of how awful she was and not engage again. I'd be tempted to ask how she would feel if her child was chased home every day by someone like her but probably wouldn't actually do it IRL.

“I remember you. You bullied me at school and tried to make my life a misery. That was a long time ago, but I don’t have anything to say to you ”

Full stop. Hold head high. Make that your closure.

A simple 'yes I remember you' and then walk off. Do not give this woman space in your head. She is not deserving of your thoughts.

Have you seen this? about 3:40 into the clip...

Appreciate it's not verbatim the same situation, but that's the level I'd aspire to deal with a bully. You owe her nothing, you don't need to be rude but you sure as hell don't need to be polite or give her an ounce of your time. Whether she remembers or not, the point is you remember, and you are perfectly within your rights to walk away and not engage with her.

I wouldn't do the pretending you don't know her.

If it were me what I would love to do, is slowly look her up and down and then eventually reply "Sadly Sharon I do remember you" and walk off.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Will you be my new bestie?

No.

Go away.

🤪

I'm not antisocial.. I just hate everyone .. 🤣

😀

Wait till the target is on her own then pounce take target down😂.

I would just be friendly if she approached me. You aren't school girls any more. Hopefully you are both pleasant people who attend the same toddler group.

‘* gosh you look so much like an awful girl that used to make my life hell at school. What’s your name?”

You are letting er back in to your headspace

There's only one response you can give that doesn't demand any effort: "Oh yes. I remember you." and turn away.

That's it. I bumped into my school bully hundreds of miles from our old school, close to where I now live. I had to do something I could live with.. so I acknowledged I remembered her and then refused to engage with her further.

We meet semi regularly at a networking session I value so I have to be able to respond without it reflecting badly on me, my business.

No
I don't think so
I don't want to

People have asked, I am not normally so curt, and I just say I don't have time to accommodate her.

I maintain my equilibrium and don't have to make a fuss

If she does approach you then call her out !
" o god I've been trying to place your face.
You were the school bully! I knew I recognised you "

I would be tempted to say something like “You were awful at school, you bullied me and other people. But when I look back on it now I feel sorry for you, so I hope you’re doing better now…?”

But in reality I would probably just go “hmm… I remember you from school…” coldly and with no hint of a smile