Is there a tactful/kind way of getting a friend to stop talking about her pregnancy so much?

[FriendsDilemma]

NC for anonymity etc.

Friend is first time mum to be. We work together as part of a bigger team. She is about halfway through her pregnancy and due to excitement is talking about the pregnancy/baby/etc several times a day and shoehorning mentions into conversations with the most tenuous links to the subject. It is starting to annoy several team members I think. You can see eye rolling happening and one word answers if she brings it up - this is happening upwards of 10 times a day some days.

Friend is oblivious to how people feel about it.

We work in a place where we have contact with vulnerable people who may have suffered baby and child loss in various circumstances and she is also mentioning her pregnancy to them. She is also doing this with a friend who is child free not by choice and causing upset there (friend is too nice to say anything but I know her very well and can tell the constant mention of babies is bothering her).

Is there any way to kindly clue pregnant friend in to what she is doing? She is not very in tune with other people's feelings but not in a consciously selfish way, she is just oblivious to it. Obviously do not want to cause upset or ruin her excitement but it all seems to be intensifying.

God, just leave it. She’s not going to be pregnant forever.

She will remember it forever if her so-called “friend” pulls her aside and tells her she’s talking about pregnancy too much.

Let’s be clear here - you do not get to “correct” her. You’re being too self-important. So what, people are rolling their eyes? She’s just mildly annoying, I’m sure they aren’t spending more than a seconds thought on it. In a few months it will all be forgotten.

you’re still thinking way too much about your one colleague and not enough about others.

If her behaviour annoys others and aspects of her performance (eg poor judgment about conversations with clients on her pregnancy) are lacking, she can experience the consequences - not your problem except insofar as your colleagues’ joint responsibility for the services.

@DoreenonTill8 where are you reading that I don't think she should work with clients when visibly pregnant?

Women who have suffered baby and child loss are often prepared that they will have to see pregnant women in their every day life. It is another thing to have to discuss it. They should be able to use our services and not have a discussion about pregnancy.

You get time to chat?!!! I need an office job!! 😄

It's not really just about people rolling their eyes though is it. She's not just annoying / boring / upsetting colleagues and friends. There vulnerable clients, who have miscarried or experienced baby loss, and she's chatting to them about herself and her pregnancy. Either you say something to her in a kind way, or leave her to it and see if anyone makes a complaint.

I'm getting confused as I'm reading it as your service is FOR women who have lost babies?
Or is it just they could have? Will you know this much about them? How much time does she have to dominate the conversation to be about her with them?

And yes as someone who's lost a baby, I know I'll see babies and pregnant women everywhere.

That's her problem, not yours. You are not responsible for how other people respond to her behaviour.

Boundaries!

@DoreenonTill8 the service isn't specifically for women who have suffered losses but we generally see clients who are quite vulnerable and there are a large number who have lost babies and children. We do usually know their backgrounds in quite a bit of detail and she can be dealing with them anything from 5 minutes up to an hour.

If she’s behaving in a way that’s actually clearly inappropriate for your workplace her manager can deal with it. If it’s just you wanting people not to find her annoying then you need to step back. She’s responsible for that, you aren’t.

Oh this is a hard one! You could maybe wait till the childless person isn’t there and say oh I was going to say to you earlier but thought I better not as X was there and I always think it’s best to avoid speaking about it too much infront of her, to be a bit sensitive to her situation. Then just say or ask something random about the baby.

Honestly I would leave this alone - the messenger always gets shot!
And while it may be irritating to colleagues, I doubt their own topics of conversation are interesting 100% of the time. Shes excited, so let her enjoy it without making her feel like she can't express that.
It's dangerous to go down the route of censoring other people's conversations (even if well meant), as you'll eventually creat a culture where no o e feels comfortable in the work place and all those lovely little chats that home people and make the day nicer, will disappear.