What is anxiety? Is this anxiety?

[ScarlettChaos]

There are certain aspects of daily life that I don’t like. I mostly avoid these activities as they make me feel uncomfortable. Is this anxiety?

For example, I dislike going out to public places therefore I rarely leave the house. I’m quite happy in my house, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t worry about leaving the house, like I don’t think anything bad will happen or have worrying thoughts. I don’t have any thoughts at all really. Other than I don’t want to. So, I don’t and all is good.

I also don’t like social situations or having to communicate with work colleagues. I try to avoid these situations as much as possible. Again though, I don’t have any thoughts - just a feeling of I don’t like that, I don’t want to do that. I don’t do it and I’m absolutely fine.

The issue is sometimes I have to do these things that make me feel uncomfortable and I don’t want to. My brain just goes nope. I clam up, I get sweaty, my chest feels tight and I get palpitations. I don’t feel worried though, I don’t have thoughts that might suggested why I feel this way.

It’s exhausting feeling this way. The uncomfortable feelings never go or reduce over time with exposure. I actually feel worse now interacting with colleagues than I did on my first day.

Just can’t do it anymore. I’ve took some time off work ‘cos I can’t concentrate, I can’t work out how to do simple tasks, I keep crying. It’s like my brain has just said no more.

Now though, sat at home - I feel ok. I’m not sat worrying or overthinking. And as long as I don’t think about leaving the house or social situations I’m absolutely fine. Is this anxiety?

That's exactly how I feel and I would class my feelings about those situation as anxious. If it's causing you to struggle so much, visit your GP, there's medications that can help you or perhaps try CBT or download one of the many anxiety relief apps

It sounds like anxiety to me.
I'm concerned that more more you avoid situations you find hard, the worse they will be when you do have to them.

It sounds exactly like autism spectrum disorder to me.

I'd consider that more agoraphobia than anxiety tbh.

@Balloonhearts I don’t know much about agoraphobia but when I google it suggests it’s like a fear of going to places where you may have a panic attack or feel trapped. I’m not sure if what I feel is fear or anxiety. I don’t think I’ve had a panic attack as such.

It’s like I think about going out, I feel uncomfortable, maybe a little agitated, then my brain says nope, you don’t wanna do that. Mostly have no desire to go anywhere so it’s not like I’m missing out.

@TeenDivided Yes, avoiding places probably does make it worse, or maybe not worse as such but easier to continue to avoid. I’ve not been to a shop since pre-covid. I’ve always struggled to cope with shops/supermarkets my whole life and I felt so much better/happier during covid when I stopped going that I’ve basically never gone back.

It does also seem to be the case though that going to a place regularly, like my workplace doesn’t become easier over time. If anything it’s harder.

@FiveStoryFire What makes you say it sounds like ASD? Interesting you say that as it has been suggested to me a few times over the years by various professionals that I should be assessed for ASD. I’m on a waiting list.

I agree with possible ASD my daughter has the same issues with you socialising.

I've had anxiety like this but I did overthink a lot.
I'm wondering about autism and for myself too.
Do you have any othér symptoms.
I myself am very noise sensitive and can't stand anyone burping coughing things like that.
Why has ASD been suggested before?

Also I get told I'm blunt,or rude.

@ScarlettChaos it sounds like a communication issue. Which is a primary feature of autism. Do you have special interests? Any repetitive movements? Any speech delay as a child?

Also, any sensory sensitivities?

Just read what you put about shops/supermarkets. This sounds like it could be sensory overwhelm?

Getting sweaty, palpitations etc are physical signs of anxiety.

Your body is anxious even if your conscious mind isn't.

Gosh you have described how my boy feels. He is diagnosed with PDA / ASD (autistic with a demand avoidance profile basically says no a lot as he is unable to cope with day to day living)

How was school for you? Is this an after covid thing? Or been like this for years?

If you think your ASD though cba won't help though

As long as you're happy that's no problem.

Kirsty Forbes on Facebook she chats lots of her way of life

@FiveStoryFire Yes, I find everything about shops/supermarkets overwhelming. I can’t even think about them - my brain just shuts down. I can’t go. I find most of the outside world overwhelming.

I think I probably do have sensory issues. ASD wasn’t so much known about when we were children - I was labelled as ‘neurotic’ from a very young age due to my ‘idiosyncratic’ behaviours.

@whatisforteamum I saw an educational psychologist for a dyslexia assessment at University who said they felt it was highly likely I had ASD and should seek a formal diagnosis. I think it was to do with the way I communicate and literal thinking.

I do have two children with ASD, so it’s probably not outside the realms of possibility.

Dyslexia frequently co-occurs with autism. Everything you've said points to it. It's good you're getting an assessment. I hope it brings greater understanding for you.

@Octavia64 Yes, I think my body must be anxious. It’s weird that consciously I don’t feel anxious. Or at least I don’t have worrying thoughts. And that’s what made me think, if I’m not worried am I actually anxious?

@Unfortunatelyagain I loathed school. I was bullied and only attended about 50% of the time.

Does not chime with anxiety (as I've experienced it). Does sound like ASD, based on the people I know who live with autism. I wish you well with finding out more!

I think its ASD. You sounds like my husband. And he is ASD. He just found out he is asd in his 40’s after we got 2 boys and both are ASD.

I suspect that you are Alexithymic.

That means to have trouble recognising your own emotions. It comompnly occurs in people with ASD but it can occur in its own.

If you are saying that you have physical signs of anxiety - sweaty, palpitations - and then your brain says nope - that is anxiety.

Anxiety isn't defined by thoughts although recurring worries and difficulty stopping anxious thoughts are often a feature.

What you are describing as your brain saying nope is an end stage of anxiety.

www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-health-issues/anxiety/

You'd probably benefit from looking at ways to control your anxiety - things like mindfulness and breathing are aimed at the physical anxiety symptoms which you have.

I thought alexithymia too. In conjunction with ASD.

Your brain saying no sounds like autistic shutdown. A reaction to stress and overwhelm.

Go to the drs I suffered terribly for years ..li got diagnosed with G.A.D and had talking therapy didn’t want medication..talking therapy really helped me it gives you coping mechanisms to help you manage your anxiety…don’t put it off go to the dr you don’t need to suffer

Also, the exhaustion you mention sounds like it could be caused by masking around other people. The suppression of your true self to try and blend it.

You might not even be fully aware of it but if you do have ASD then it's likely you've been doing this subconsciously for years and it causes mental and physical exhaustion and burnout.

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/masking#The%20impact%20of%20masking