What is anxiety? Is this anxiety?

[ScarlettChaos]

There are certain aspects of daily life that I don’t like. I mostly avoid these activities as they make me feel uncomfortable. Is this anxiety?

For example, I dislike going out to public places therefore I rarely leave the house. I’m quite happy in my house, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t worry about leaving the house, like I don’t think anything bad will happen or have worrying thoughts. I don’t have any thoughts at all really. Other than I don’t want to. So, I don’t and all is good.

I also don’t like social situations or having to communicate with work colleagues. I try to avoid these situations as much as possible. Again though, I don’t have any thoughts - just a feeling of I don’t like that, I don’t want to do that. I don’t do it and I’m absolutely fine.

The issue is sometimes I have to do these things that make me feel uncomfortable and I don’t want to. My brain just goes nope. I clam up, I get sweaty, my chest feels tight and I get palpitations. I don’t feel worried though, I don’t have thoughts that might suggested why I feel this way.

It’s exhausting feeling this way. The uncomfortable feelings never go or reduce over time with exposure. I actually feel worse now interacting with colleagues than I did on my first day.

Just can’t do it anymore. I’ve took some time off work ‘cos I can’t concentrate, I can’t work out how to do simple tasks, I keep crying. It’s like my brain has just said no more.

Now though, sat at home - I feel ok. I’m not sat worrying or overthinking. And as long as I don’t think about leaving the house or social situations I’m absolutely fine. Is this anxiety?

Strangely, the only time I really feel anxious is when leaving my house after a few days at home.
I'm always completely fine within about 2 minutes, but that act of opening the front door and stepping out, after being "in" for a few days, sets me right on edge.

Thank you for all the insights and links.
I suppose the question now is what do I do about it? I can’t stay home from work much longer - I don’t get paid sick. But equally I can’t even think about work or leaving the house let alone actually go.
I just feel completely overwhelmed.
Would medication help?

Could you explain to work and ask for some accommodations? Would it be possible to work from home?

My thought exactly. My mum is autistic and she is very similar to you..she just hates being around people. My son is also autistic and it can be impossible sometimes get him to leave the house. Tbh I think I’m autistic too as I’m not sociable, not a fan of people either (absolutely detested school-it was huge issue for me) but I think I’m just good at masking and have to hold myself together for my son and my mum. It’s exahausting. It does sound like you have anxiety symptoms too OP.

My work is somewhat supportive but at the end of the day they will always put the needs of the business first. Which is fair enough. I am allowed to work from home but this is supposed to be only if there’s a reason. I had been working from home more than the office - my reason being going to the office makes me anxious. But work have been pushing back recently and are asking me to go in everyday to get ‘support from the team’.

I feel so low and deflated today. Finally built up the courage to contact GP only to told be told there’s no appointments for over a week. I don’t know what I was expecting really. Not sure the GP can even help. Just I feel so overwhelmed it’s got to the point of SH and I don’t know what to do.

You have made a step forward and that's great by
Contacting the GP.

Please take it one minute hour or day at a time and realise that every tiny achievement is amazing and moving towards a greater understanding of your strengths 💐

Does your work have any policies on neurodivergence?

I meant if you could explain to them that this may apply to you and that you are in the process of exploring next steps re diagnosis.

This should be a valid reason for you to continue to work from home.

Please do make that GP appointment. Mental health is just as important as physical.

I am sorry OP that you are suffering .
The problem with avoiding doing things is it is a vicious circle. The more you avoid doing something, the less you want to do it and the more you fear it. It can become obsessional. You can end up living in a very small world and being miserable. A psychiatrist once told me " avoid avoiding" is a good rule to remember and to fight against.

It sounds like you could definitely benefit from some mental health support. Therapy or antidepressants could probably help you but first thing to do is make that appointment with your GP.