Announcing pregnancy after 11+3 scan? Or do we need to wait the 4 days to 12?

[pregso]

As title suggests, not sure if it’s more advisable we wait the full twelve weeks or if it’s okay to announce having had a scan at 11+3? What are your thoughts?

Have you got the genetic screening blood test results yet? I would guess not unless your hospital does them immediately in an on site lab.

personally I’d wait until after that.

It's such an individual choice. It's up to you and your partner. Some announce as soon as the test positive other wait until 20 plus weeks.

Do what feels right

Completely up to you! Some announce as soon as they get a positive test. I didn’t say anything until after the 20w scan as wanted to be a certain as I could that all was ok.

There is no rule. You should announce it when you feel most comfortable to announce it and when it feels best for you.

In terms of risk, most miscarriages happen prior to 8 weeks of pregnancy so you're likely to be out of the most risky period now.

I personally don't understand why women are supposed to wait to tell people. Having had a previous miscarriage where no-one knew about the pregnancy, it was a very specific type of pain to have to message my friends and family to essentially say "I was pregnant but no longer am". As a result I always tell people about my pregnancies before 12 weeks (whenever I feel comfortable) to ensure I would have support if the worst were to happen.

Theres no rule, you can tell people when ever you choose. Telling people doesn't affect the outcome it's just that people in general prefer to wait until there's more certainty that things will be OK

Congratulations

I didn’t announce. I told people as I saw them and some were before 12 weeks.

When I had a miscarriage I didn't tell anyone except obviously my partner at the time, it's not usual to send messages announcing a miscarriage is it? Or have things changed in recent years?

You aren't magically going to have more information in 4 days, so I'd tell people now, if you want to. I didn't have any blood tests or anything further done after 12 week scan until 20 weeks. It was more about just when I felt comfortable and ready though.

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair I don't really understand your tone. When I had a miscarriage I wanted the support of my best friends and parents. I don't think there's anything odd about that.

Why do people feel the need to announce these days?

Is this a social media thing?

I agree. Women who have miscarriages are allowed to have support, there are no prizes for getting through it on your own. It might not be useful/ the right thing for everyone but there is certainly nothing odd about it. It can help other women going through the same thing to know they are not alone too.

I think the word "announce" means, different things to different people.

I didn't "announce" my pregnancy to anyone. I told my parents, siblings, close friends as and when it felt right. I didn't tell anyone before 20 week scan whom I wouldn't have wanted to know that I'd had a miscarriage or TFMR. I deliberately waited until after the all-clear dating (12w) scan and NIPT to tell my parents because of previous loss.

For people i saw IRL it then became obvious as bump emerged. I told people individually or in small groups after the birth.

There was no sign of my pregnancy or baby on social media until DC was 3 months old.

My approach probably informed by 2 x MCs and knowing 2 people who had stillbirths and one whose preemie died. But even before that I baulked at big early "announcements", and "gender reveals". Others find them important. Each to their own.

*I would still have told my parents if I'd had a miscarriage or a negative outcome at the dating scan or NIPT

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair miscarriages aren't a sordid secret.

Some people need further support

I never announced at all. I told close friends and my boss and it eventually became clear to everyone else.

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair
I am the same. I’ve had so many miscarriages now I don’t want to tell people I’m pregnant. If I want support from people, the people I want to be there won’t care if I’ve told them or not beforehand.

It’s fine to talk about miscarriages and it’s fine not to, I didn’t think anyone would say they are a sordid secret, that makes me feel sick that someone would say that, having gone through so many of them - I don’t want to feel worse than I already do!!

I’m not keeping a sordid secret (god even typing that out makes me feel ill!). I will tell people if I want to. I preferred going through my miscarriages at my own time emotionally and I have told some friends later, but on my terms. I would have hated the pressure of people asking how my pregnancy was whilst dealing with seeing a heartbeat and then not. Dealing with an ectopic pregnancy. Dealing with taking all the injections and hormones for recurrent miscarriages not knowing if there is any point.

Same. Some people at about 6 weeks, some not till more like 30 just because that's when I saw them.

I told quite a few friends. And a lot of them replied saying they'd been through the same thing and appreciated being able to talk about it.

The reason most women don't tell till after 12 weeks as this is when there is a a1 in 8 chance of a known pregnancy ending in a misscarriage which is quite high and people don't want to explain a misscarrage

Once you have a scan detecting a healthy heart rate after 10 weeks there is a 99 % chance of the pregnancy continuing.
https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/worried-about-pregnancy-loss/ultrasound-scans/#:~:text=Research%20amongst%20women%20with%20a,that%20went%20up%20to%2099.4%25.
It's up to you but I would

We told people around 5 weeks as I was bleeding and had a couple of early scans. I was that anxious about it all that people knew something was up and it was the people such as parents that I would have wanted support from if anything bad were to have happened. I think this whole 12 week thing is a bit OTT. I understand not putting stuff out on social media too early and telling the world and his wife, but I don't see a problem in telling close relatives and friends whenever you happen to be in touch with them.

It’s totally up to you, however if you’ve had a scan showing a perfectly healthy pregnancy at 11+3 it’s unlikely something bad will happen in 4 days. We announced after I’d had a safe 12 week scan, it dated me about 11 ish though

You tell people when you want to. As I MC our first I was more aware of how the journey isn't always as straightforward so I didn't tell any extra people until I had to. Didn't post anything eg Facebook until DD was born.

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair @supercalafragilisticexpealidocious

There's no right or wrong answer on the timing of telling people, I told immediate family when pregnant the first time. I went on to miscarry. I had a subsequent miscarriage with pregnancy 3 none of my immediate family know that. My family although supportive were very upset and I didn't want to deal with that situation again.
Everyone decides what's right for them.

I had my scan yesterday and dated 11+4. We came home and told our parents, but I'm keeping it lowkey for a few weeks.

There's no rules. Some people like to wait and work through whatever alone; some people want support from early on