Dear god I am so bored. Is this menopause?

[DidSomebodySayEnnui]

I am mid 40: and peri.
We have been through a shitty time financially with dp and I both being in and out of work and now have very little if any disposable income from week to week.

Can't get excited about anything. Have very little to look forward to. Life is wfh/ take dc to activity/housework visit elderly parents/in laws / not much in the way of fun.

I was on sertraline a couple of years but I think they would just amplify this feeling of MEH.
I have nothing fun to look forward to
We are pushing the boat to go to a black tie fundraiser later in the summer but I will be re wearing an old dress probably and feel very frumpy.

Stop blaming everything on peri/menopause.
You do sound like you may be depressed. That may or may not be hormonal driven. Get some help with it.

Also - why will you be wearing an old dress that makes you look frumpy?

The only way to know is to try hrt and see if you feel better. Sounds like it to me.

I think the crappy weather isn't helping. I am on some HRT
I am just wondering how with a very limited budget it is possible to carve out an existence that feels less fucking boring.

In answer to the old dress question , because I am not particularly slim
At the moment and can't afford to buy a new dress.

In an ideal world what do you class as fun OP?

Because for some people taking their DC to activities, having a H whom you have got through hard times with and parents/grandparents for DC still around is luxury.

Can you have a large family meal at home with games?

It all depends what you mean as fun? There are usually free/cheap ways to achieve the same.

Oh I'm the same. I love my job and my family but the relentless day to day is depressing. I'm not depressed but I don't find the fun in things anymore in the way I used to. Bleugh.

I am truly trying to count my blessings.
All the things that used to be enjoyable aren't.
I have nothing I fancy to eat...
everything feels a bit empty.
I have been depressed before and I was frozen. Stuck on my sofa.
This is different. I am restless in a different way.

I think a number of people are in the same boat. Finances/what is going on in the world/the weather etc etc. Check with the doctor just in case though pills do not cure all ills. I know how you feel though. I am not so much depressed (saw a few films at the cinema recently) but disappointed when I have eaten out. In Pizza Express they spent so long ignoring me and chattering at the back that I could not have the dessert I wanted. Plus again in a cafe a dish I had checked did not have meat in, actually did! Fed up with the rain. Normally only bothered if it is wind and rain. It could be worse, we don't tend to get hurricanes/tornados etc etc - well not as often as in USA etc etc. I am quite a resilient person but sometimes can get a bit pissed off.

Jeez! It's probably 98% responsible here...

While the lack of £ and fun in you life aren't great, from my experience menopause may not be helping. When I felt like this I blamed it on lack of purpose (what am I for? kids grown and flown, no grandchildren, mum died so no caring responsibilities, job fairly pointless etc etc) but upping my HRT did lead to a fairly dramatic mood change to the positive.

Ok can you start with food

How about cooking up a simple but storming greek buffet type Saturday dinner, fish or lamb or can go full vegetarian.

Chilled melon

Greek salad, crunchy cucumber, sweet tomatoes, feta olives red onion

Breads and dips

Fizzy water and red wine

Stick the radio on for company use your fancy serving dishes

Go to a garden centre and buy a couple of peony plants in a bright colour and stick then in the garden either by front door so they greet you as you come home or where you look when you sit out

Read an uplifting book, I find in the spring a book when someone has travelled or relocated to hot Europe inspiring but this is all personal choice or the Greek myths they were absolute horrors you know but very entertaining Gods Behaving Very Badly

Thanks for kind replies. I am usually pretty resourceful and resilient so it's rare for me to be feeling so
😳about it all

Being poor is shit, whether its temporary or long term, no getting away from it. Money isn't everything but a lot of the things that bring you joy in the day to day do cost something. Sorry but no amount of smell the roses optimism can help with that.

However peri won't be helping you deal with it, so I would highly recommend vitamins if you're not taking already. Vit D, vit C and magnesium all made a big difference to my energy levels.

Plus music, books and seeing friends if you can. Stay off social media, im convinced it is making us all miserable depressives (except mumsnet obvs) And I hope you feel better soon .

@movintothecountry I don't even wanna eat a lot of peaches 😂😂😂😂(assume your name is a POTUSA thing)

Thank you for kind words. Yes being poor is shit. We have food in fridge and a roof etc etc. but the world is small and time is always clock watched due to next meeting/meal/activity. It's just all a bit rubbish

I'd be totally fucked if I didn't go into the office every day. Human contact, a chat, and a laugh. It really helps which I never thought I'd say. Can you find a hybrid role?

Haha no, I was actually thinking of moving to the country (but didn't in the end)

I do like that song tho!

I'm a bit in the same boat at the moment. I have a house, beautiful healthy children and a lot to be thankful for. But i'm also a bit fat and thanks to interest rate rises and cost of living there's not much left in the pot for fun stuff. I remind myself it could be a lot worse and I'm lucky really, but I long for a week in the Greek Islands and a new wardrobe full of cashmere and linen. One day...

I have been looking for this...
it's been tricky as I do like a bit of flexibility... and the last place I did some office work weren't flexible at all

I think you have to accept that people are different.

Chilled melon and going to a garden centre would NOT make me happy!

OP should think about what she thinks of as fun. Can her DP look after the children while she goes out with friends? Can she go on a day out by herself? Whatever that person likes.
Having to prepare a Greek buffet is just another chore.

I honestly think this is just the reality of how boring midlife can be. I feel sort of the same. I'm 42 have two youngish kids. It's all just so boring. We still have one in nursery. Even with free hours our nursery bill is £800 a month. We have no spare cash. No
Money for holidays or extras. We are lucky but it's so boring. I just want enough money to spice it up a bit.. join a gym.. get a babysitter occasionally.., go out without the kids. With none of this its literally like being on a treadmill.

Have you used Vinted? I've found it amazing for clothes. I got a pair of lk bennet shoes for £15. Really recommend it.

I've just taken on some freelance work and that's helped me a lot. I feel worthy again . I have a boring council job that offers me flexibility but not much else. I'm really hoping once the youngest starts school things will improve..,

Does anyone have any ideas on how to make it all any less dull????

Late night bump

It depends what you like. I like walking and listening to podcasts and just getting outside in nature. At this time of year if you go near water you might see ducklings or other babies, which are a delight. Or spring flowers, sometimes you can watch bees buzzing around them.

Do you like reading? What about binge watching streaming services? You can get magazines online from the library for free.

Running is also free if you already have suitable footwear of course. Or some basic gyms like Pure Gym are relatively inexpensive if that's what you're interested in.

Do you have anything you can sell on Vinted to bring in a bit of extra cash?

Do you get time to do what you like or are you the lowest priority after meeting everyone else's needs? If so, change that.

I'm feeling a bit like this.

I think being broke and midlife is no fun. I think when young there is the hope it will get better and excitement and plans about what to do with your life and trips you want to go on and where you might live.

Now I'm closer to 50 there's a realisation we won't ever afford the trips I want to do that there isn't a lot of t of things to get excited about planning as we cant afford them. We won't be doing exciting things to our house/moving/. We can't plan visits to theatres etc.

I think it's a combination of money and mid life. I know retired people loving life but they're loaded and still have that excitingn""what shall we do next?!" feel.

I hate it.

I have a long list of free of low cost activities I just am not particularly inspired to do any of it and I am also tired of having to be so resourceful. Always having to do the group on, check the promo code, get the vinted version, etc etc. I feel like there is no more fat to cut (financially, I def could do with losing a few pounds)
I am def short on time for myself

I did go to a gig (tickets were a gift) which was quite life affirming but it's quite a temporary feeling. The happiness from last night has been slightly drowned by the rain today.
Sigh

No real suggestions OP, but I hear you! In fact, I think I may be you!

Peri-menopausal, broke, bored, fat, uninspired. Feel like everything I do is for other people & there is nothing left for me - no time, no money, no resources. But equally there are gaping long hours in the days when I'm not working that I struggle to fill with anything of any relevance or excitement.

I would love to join a gym, study, go to the theatre, go away on trips with 'the girls' like everyone around me does. Or even a night out now & again. But we don't have the money & nobody wants to do any if these things with me & I am so bored of my own company. I have spent many hours ruminating & crying about all this.

I'm afraid I don't know what to suggest but I hope, for both of us, that things improve. Good luck OP.