Overthinking and anxiety is ruining me.

[Littletinytarzanswingingfromanosehair]

I overthink and worry about everything.
Once I've worried about something, I move on to the next and it's consuming me.

From overthinking about a work email to my partner suddenly deciding to leave.

It's like paranoia too has got me so bad I can't be on Facebook because its like shamebook all the local gossip groups etc.

If I see a police car or ambulance going in the direction of where a family member lives I worry it's them!

It's utterly horrendous and I just can't cope.

I've tried the GP and they offer therapy, tried medication etc but it's hardly worked

Honestly, if I could go and live on a secluded island I would.

Please tell me I'm not alone?

You're not alone.

My anxiety goes in peaks and troughs. I need to keep a close eye on it or it spirals. Got diagnosed with GAD a few years back. I did a lot of therapy and completed automatic thought records which really helped.

Solidarity! it is so exhausting, starting medication and counselling soon.
Do you notice times where it’s better or worse?

You are SO not alone.

I have recurrent episodes like this and I am currently at the top of one about to go down. I can't sleep. I replay every conversation I have. I worry about everything and over think. I think every single day that when DH does the school drop off that there will be a horrible fiery crash and he and the Dcs will die.

I am 50 and have tried counselling (massive fail when my counselor told me she thought my anxiety was attention-seeking). I have tried medication. I have tried all the self help books. I have tried controlling my environment through excessive housework. I obsessively scroll MN and youtube and also frankly drink too much all designed to relieve me of myself for an hour or two.

Now I have enrolled in group therapy sessions. They start in 3 weeks and before then I am not sure how I will cope.

On the surface? Senior management role. Solvent. Great mother and wife (this I know) and I am barely holding myself together. Everything else in my life is protected because I work hard to ensure everything runs smoothly. Me? I'm a fucking mess.

I get anxiety too and currently struggling after poor health. I came of sertraline a few years ago as I got terrible vertigo and was so tired I could barely do my uni assessments where I was previously getting 1sts.
I have found a good psychotherapist can help (had 2 counsellors and both made me very upset by being thoughtless, rude and generally missing the mark). I've tried a male psychotherapist and couldn't get on but the woman I had was amazing. Personally I'd rather do that again than meds but currently having anxiety about taking a space from someone else as I know how bad the funding is. I've began getting more frequent panic attacks though so I know I need to do something. Procrastinating and starting multiple "urgent" long and complex tasks at once is my usual at this point though. Currently redecorating the whole house - stripping wallpaper and painting stairs, taking up carpets, upholstered 6 dining chairs, reorganised the loft and taken 4 cars full to the charity in the last 2 weeks 😬. It's not sustainable and I spend evenings exhausted, freaking out at the mess I'm making in every room, feeling my paint skills are ruining the house... Anyway! Yes, I know how you feel. It's horrible and my neck feels like it's constantly straining and tense from trying not to have a panic attack.

You could all be writing about me... complete catastrophiser, ruminater, pain in the arse worrier.

I've tried cbt, I'm now on sertraline. Went for a review yesterday and the doctor said "you can't be on these forever, they're just a crutch" and now I am back to worrying about how I will cope with my own headspace long term.

I spend my time worrying that I'm going to be fired, that I've accidentally knocked someone off their bike and killed them, that I'm going to be found out for ... god knows what... and be sent to prison, that there will be a fire in our house and we'll all burn to death. Last night, there was lightening and thunder where I am, and my immediate thought was that we were being bombed by Russia and it was awful as we don't have a bomb shelter! This is the summarised version of living in my head.

Like pp, I am senior management, have kids, have a partner. My dp knows I'm nuts, most other people think I am sane and on top of life. I am an extrovert by nature. Inside I'm a mess. It is bloody hard work.

If anyone else has the answers please let me know!

It's alllll the time. So draining.
I drink too much at weekends for a mind break and then have hangover anxiety on Sunday to Monday.

My stepdaughter is traveling the far east too and that's sent my mind spiralling and dreading my youngest daughter (my only bio child) starting driving in September....

Management role at work which is stressful.

It never stops does it?

God yes, The number of times I have been driving along and then got it in my head I have somehow knocked someone over and killed them and then have to circle the block to make sure there isn't anyone dead on the road.

When i am stressed (which I am now) it gets worse and worse and worse.

Your absolutely not alone I've been in denial for years until it all got to much went to the drs in a right state got diagnosed with G.A.Dand O.C.D ....I got talking therapy and it's helped me so much you must try it you don't have to suffer I didn't want medication but like I say the therapy gets things into perspective and the givevyou coping mechanisms goid luck

Try cutting out the drink. It exacerbates all the symptoms you describe.

It’s your worst enemy.

Voice of experience here.

I agree with the stopping drink for lots of reasons but it doesn't stop anxiety at all not when you suffer from GAD

No. But it’s worth it to work out what’s caused by drinking and what’s not.

i hope you get the help you need OP

Sorry I don’t have any advice but you are not alone, it’s horrible. I’m always worrying about something, sometimes I even forget what I’ve been worrying about I’ve been worrying about that much.

Can also relate to the police/ ambulance thing, I think that everytime. If I hear there’s been a crash on the radio I panic it’s someone I know. If someone doesn’t answer the phone I worry something has happened to them. Nursery didn’t update the app once and I worried something had happened/ my child had gone missing. It’s awful.

I agree. I actually think I was self medicating with alcohol and part of the reason I have been having so many panic attacks is because I stopped drinking due to my health scare. I have social anxiety and masked it when out with alcohol and it would calm me to the point I could sleep in the evening. I've basically now got the raw anxiety which I have no way of dealing with as I did before and my brain hasn't had a break! Cutting back might be an option but I think psychological support while doing that would be better.

Talking therapy doesn't work with anxiety. If you can go private, you'll be seen quicker but if not, your local IAPT surface can offer ACT acceptance and commitment therapy. It's a type ot emotions based cbt, has a lot about mindfulness in it and is amazing for anxiety. I had it myself and it changed a lot of things for me. I used to have screaming panic attacks and now I rarely ever get one. I still get anxiety but it is manageable.

Have a look up at the five sense technique (it can take time to practise it but it is amazing) and try anxiety meditation such as pura rasa on youtube. Headspace is pretty good too.

I had a book recommended to my by my counsellor called the happiness trap. Don't be put off by the glib title, it's really informative. Good luck!

I went on meds years ago for anxiety and should have been on it from my teens due to trauma. It does help with the overthinking and ocd behaviour and the imagining all sorts of situations in your head. Overthinking before you have to go to a social occasion and then actually enjoying it. It is mentally exhausting so if I were you I would talk to your doctor as life too short to be always worrying and it makes you physically ill. Wishing you well. Also write down things and try to let them go for that day after you write them down.

Absolutely ! I feel exactly how you do I have cut back on alcohol like I said talking therapy and coping mechanisms...cut back for health reasons but it doesn't stop anxiety ....Good luck please try talking therapy

That sounds super tough. I can totally relate. I read a book called Solve for Happy by Mo Gowdat and it absolutely changed the way I think and process anxiety.

Thanks all. So sorry for the delay in my reply. It's been tough. Cut down alcohol by a lot. I have gone back on beta blockers but it doesn't stop the overthinking, anxious thoughts and constant worry. It's that time of the month too so I don't think the shift in hormones help either.

A really good CBT workbook helped me a lot. (Very different to the watered down, quickie 'CBT' that is often offered on the NHS.)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1849018782/ref=tmmpappswatch0?ie=UTF8&qid=1691936747&sr=8-1

And that's followed by a self-help book:

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1845294165?ref=dbsmmngwimcalwtpbk_5&storeType=ebooks

I'd really recommend trying something like this, @Littletinytarzanswingingfromanosehair.

Thank you so much @Liliee x

I'm on a holiday. And on day 6 of time away from work I am still replaying elements of a conversation held between me and two senior colleagues. It goes round and round like a train. Intrusive. Anger inducing. I can't stop questioning what I heard and what I said. It's fucking insane. So I totally relate..even down to panicking when I hear sirens. I've once driven somewhere and turned back home because I thought my house was on fire. I struggle so much with this. And I'm on sertraline.

Oh god. I’m not medicated or anything, but I can relate…constantly worrying. I don’t feel it’s at the stage where it’s taking over my life and I do still have moments of joy, but I feel that life is passing me by with all this worrying if that makes sense? I have a nice life! Currently on holiday and these are the things I’ve been worrying about : house will have burned down when I get home, brother with mental health problems will have come and broken into/destroyed house when we aren’t there/ I will come back and be sacked from my job. And don’t even get me started on the flight home! I feel all this worry is pointless and could be so much happier. You aren’t alone.

Also totally relate to the sirens thing, whenever I am driving away from home and see an ambulance going towards my house I think it’s my DH/kids

I would love to know how to stop it though. It's complicated by the fact I'm not sure I'm seeing things right, or whether others are being fair or swayed by things I can't control. I just feel blindsided and sick to my stomach with it all.