How to say no without looking boring/rude?

[Nogodsnomasters]

I have an old friendship group, we used to be very close but now as more kids have come along over the years and COVID lockdowns etc we're now more like acquaintances. On Facebook I see one or two of the group still go out together from time to time but not the entire group.

One girl has just made a group chat for us all for the first time in about 3 years and started it with "Hello strangers! Can we all get together for a girl's night out please?"

I no longer drink alcohol or even carbonated drinks due to developing GERD. My mental health isn't the best and I'm in counselling, my sleep is shit and I'm always exhausted, I also now have IBS. I haven't had a "girls night out" in 7 months, wouldn't step foot in a night club and haven't since pre covid as I just feel too old and frumpy and tired for it all now. Don't really enjoy sitting in a pub that isn't for a meal as there's nothing I can really order to drink other than water which then gets funny looks and comments "oh just have a drink, come on don't be boring!"

Basically I don't want to go, But I don't want to appear rude or boring (which I basically am, I'd rather be home with my kids reading a book or watching a film). What can I say in this group chat?

I’d be up for dinner but I don’t party much anymore! Haven’t seen you ages would love to properly catch up!

This. It’s not that you don’t want to see them, you just can’t do that particular plan.
if they offered coffee or a lunch would you accept?

Thanks everyone. They were all really understanding and have agreed to a dinner date but think they're also gonna go ahead with the drinking night another day without me which is absolutely fine!

That’s great news, enjoy the dinner.

Great this has worked out, hope you have a lovely meal.

Keep your hand in. You won't be mummy forever. There will come a time when you'll appreciate a girls' night out.
That's not to say you have to go along to this occasion...but be mindful of the above when you respond.

Good to hear, hope it goes well!

If you like these people but hate nights out, can you just say: I'm not up for a night on the town but if anyone fancies catching up over a coffee and a walk let me know.

It's been sorted, did you see OP's latest post?

Thanks everyone, I'm glad it worked out this way with all of your help. I do want to keep them as friends but find it hard to manage with my life as it is at the moment but those who have said about the future where the kids won't be little and anything could happen, I may need friends to rely on and shouldn't let them slip away.

No, definitely don’t let them slip away. There will come a time when you will itch to spend a day out with your mates because while little kids are cute and rewarding, big ones can be annoying and mentally draining. My friends and I have reached a point where day drinking often seems like a bloody good plan!