Cultural differences in children's birthday parties.

[TheNameIsDickDarlington]

I was recently at a child's birthday party where one of the mums questioned the classic cheese and pineapple on a stick birthday snack. Apparently, she had never seen this before.

This led me to think about children's birthday parties and how much of what I would consider a traditional child's party is specifically cultural to England (which is where I have always lived). Do most countries have the typical Bouncy castle in a hall and buffet food type kids parties or does each country have its own version of that?

Cheese and pineapple was the craze in the late 60s/70s .My children had parties in the early 00s ,bouncy castles in a hall definitely the norm .

Cheese and pineapple ? When was this the 1970s? 😂

Mid 70s . My parents had regular parties and always served cheese and pineapple 🤦‍♀️

Long long ago when I was very young I went to a party with cheese and pineapple on sticks pushed into half oranges covered in foil. There were also sausages but I didn't eat meat from a young age and the food was mainly aimed at carnivores. I grazed my way through the cheese and pineapple then not finding anything else to my liking I peeled off the silver foil from the oranges and ate those as well. When our poor hostess returned with a plate of refills all that was left of them was crumpled silver foil - I had eaten the peel as well 😊 I was a very strange child and have not been to many parties since...

Sorry I meant at @TheNameIsDickDarlington

Google 'fairy bread'. An Australian delicacy

Thank you! I was wondering when someone might mention the pickled onion!

I always made cheese and pineapple on sticks for my kids' parties, and it went fast. Healthy and delicious! I don't think it's common these days though.

My kids are now older teens, but in the first few years at school most of the parties were indeed bouncy structure in a hall followed by a sit down homemade buffet meal. It's the most economic option for whole class parties, or where there are a lot of attendees, because they don't charge per child. We did also go to quite a few soft play parties as well.

Later on, they moved on to cinema/Claire's/climbing wall/swimming etc, followed by pizza type place.

Non U.K. born parents just seemed to go with the flow, I think. We don't live in a very diverse area though.

I was just thinking about the health and safety of the parties I had in the 70s! Pin the tail on the donkey - blindfolded child wandering around with a pin, musical chairs - someone is going to fall and get pushed, bobbing for apples - saliva (probably nits too), blind man's bluff - blindfolded child grabbing other children.

I was always pretty bold with my (now adult) kids' parties 😁 thank goodness i was young and dumb! I'm a single parent but would take groups of boys paintballing, swimming and whole class parties in the garden. We're in a deprived area and it was absolutely normal for siblings to turn up too, no present, no return invite but I was young! (and stupid 😂)

Yes of course! I put him into his little tuxedo or lederhosen and off he dances 😂
No, I mean that thing where they play (modern!) music and boys are sitting in one corner, girls in the other one, and most of them don't dare to move in case someone asks them to do dance moves with them. Don't you do that in Britain? 🤪

I live in Canada and parties here are very similar to the UK (party bags, soft play, silly games) but cake is always eaten at the party and there are fewer other sweet treats.

One great custom though is that if the parents put "toonie party" on the invite, this means you're not supposed to buy a gift but instead tape a $2 coin (colloquially called a "toonie") into the card. It is intended so the kid isn't given a bunch of toys and crap they don't want but instead can use the money for something they do want. Much easier and more inclusive for other parents too.

It's likely a class thing too, not just cultural. Bouncy castle in a hall wasn't a thing for us or anyone we know. Birthdays tend to be activity-based with on-site catering. Ice skating, trampolining, bowling etc. Or magicians, petting zoos etc for the tots. I haven't seen ham and pineapple on a stick since the 80s. Back in the vol-au-vent days.

I am interested in the class thing is it very middle class to have a hall party or slightly noveau ? They abounded in my children's lives (00's). For refference we did:
Home parties for age 1&2
Soft play age 3 ( joint party)
Trampolining aged 4
Home party aged 5 & 7
Swimming party
Trip to lego land with 1 friend
Bowling (X3 I think)
Go ape
Skate park
Pottery cafe
Build a bear
Pizza express & cinema (at least twice)
Thorpe park fright night

Never did a hall party seemed like a lot of work.

Maybe I should have said it's a finances thing rather than a class thing. I imagine it's definitely easier to throw money at it than faff around setting up a town hall, planning party games, and spearing pineapple with sticks.

In Cuba we invite the whole village, usually in the house but the kids can play outside if you have a garden. Food comes in a box like a happy meal box but it will be sandwiches, croquettes, empanadas, cake. We display the soda bottles on the table with the cake and take photos there. The cake is normal sponge with meringue, no icing. There is a piñata usually but we have strings the kids pull instead of hitting with sticks. Lots of music and dancing! Parents don't tend to drink alcohol there even though Cubans tend to drink a lot at parties.

Netherlands:

Primary school so drop and go.

Arrive on time. The gift is immediately given to the party child (gift or card not both). The gift opened immediately and guest is thanked. Straight onto party activity. Limited food.

Shortly after the party end time a car would pull up at our house full to bursting with children. The driver would jump out and haul out a child you vaguely recognise.

Once the children were into Y4 they would cycle to the party and cycle home afterwards.

I've always found this odd. So people have a couple of glasses of wine then drive their kids home 🫤

Wrapped in a napkin so it's a bit of a mess when you get home. All the icing stuck to the napkin

At the time we were living in the Netherland a Dutch colleague was living in the UK. We had similar age DCs so compared notes on children's parties. We were both baffled by the other.

She found the British practice of taking presents away to be opened later very weird. She said the thank you letter a week afterwards like getting a receipt!

When we lived in London, we didn’t have a car. Schoolfriends lived within walking distance or we would have gone by tube or bus e.g. to a soft play etc. that was further away.

In Spain, mostly 3 or 4 kids in the year group have a joint party. Parents of guests club together to buy the gift (often a gift card for a toy store). Parties are at trampolines / bowling etc. and there is a (massive) cone of (really sickly) sweets and popcorn type snacks provided to each child at the end. Piñatas are fairly common too.

In France, fewer parties overall, esp. once kids are 10, 11. Tends to be 3 or 4 close friends invited to an activity like climbing, football, escape room for kids, something with an 'animateur'(entertainer). There will probably be some Haribo type sweets, something to drink, and a cake at the end (not like a British birthday cake, more like a plain, un-iced, undecorated chocolate, apple or yoghurt cake). Gifts are opened by the birthday child in front of everyone at some point during the party.

Parents don't stay at parties...what is this fresh hell?!

I'm north London. No all class parties, and very few divided between boys/ girls. Kids tend to just invite 10-15 of the friends they most want. Parties generally in the park, soft play or city farm when younger then trampolining, swimming or park when older. Drop off from about aged 5 but if in park parents can stay to hang out and offered cake and booze.

I'm almost 40 and I can't believe I've lived my life without fairy bread. Thank you to all the Australian and New Zealand people of Mumsnet. My daughter's next party will be full of white bread, butter and 10's & 1000's. Or maybe we'll make some after school today because I can't wait to try it

We were on the south coast until DS was 5. Very typically church hall with a bouncy castle and a pile of sandwiches. Big move against plastic crap so lots of books and a slice of cake as a party bag.

Moved to outer North London and a private school (think it changes it) and it’s all at a venue- soft play, trampoline, ninja warrior, football etc. elaborate cakes costing more than my wedding cake, party bags filled with plastic crap. About half do full on catering for the parents too. I think it’s cultural for Cypriots/Greeks/Turkish people (school is about 50% from these nationalities). I’ve learnt to go to the party hungry!

This, but always at home, never in a hall. Mainly just my cousins and about 4 friends. Birthday games, musical chairs, pass the parcel, a small disco run by my dad, running round the garden looking for hidden treasures (hidden by my parents) and the food was provided by my mam and grandma. A cake-never in a fancy shape and definitely from my grandma's 'Bero' book, sandwiches, a pizza, crisps, mini fruit scones with jam and butter with 20ps wrapped up in greaseproof paper inside, mini sausage rolls, mini hot dogs on sticks (styled a la cheese and pineapple hedgehog), little cheese quiches. It was 1980s but they were older parents and I loved my parties. Once I was about 8 we moved to trips to the cinema/swimming etc.

Our 3 DC have had a tea at home for GP and us until they were about 4 when we started doing a party for a small group of their friends. We usually do something followed by a pizza and ice cream. I dread them, DH loves them.