If I don't drink, will everyone assume I'm pregnant?

[NutSmeg]

One of the women in my book group is getting married next month. Next week, book group is going out for a meal for it.

Book group meets in the pub on a weekday night. Non-drinking is the norm.
I only drink at book group when its our Christmas meeting.

We went out for a meal in January and I drank alcohol there.

What I mean is - book group knows I'm not tee-total.

If I don't drink next week, will everyone assume I'm pregnant? I'm 37.

Tell them you are taking tablets, antibiotics - that will do the trick

I don't think so. It's not like you usually have a drink when you see them. Just say you've got a busy day the next day if anyone asks. I don't think the antibiotics excuse works - I think people are even more likely to assume you're pregnant if you say that!

They'll defo think you're pregnant if you say this!

Why would anyone think you're pregnant just coz you don't want a drink of alcohol?

Unless you have stated that you are actively trying (to get pregnant,) I can't imagine anyone's mind going there.

Why?? It all depends on how you say it and react when they ask you questions

I doubt it, if you don’t usually drink anyway. But even if they do think you’re pregnant, so what? It’s a book group, they can think what they like, they’ll be proven wrong (or right?) soon enough.

No.

I'm a similar age and stopped drinking a few years ago. I've had occasions in the past where I decided not to drink (when I wasn't pregnant). I've not been asked once if I was pregnant in the past couple of years, whereas in my late 20s/early 30s it was the go to assumption.

On that basis Id say they're unlikely to assume you're pregnant. I think it also depends on your circumstances - eg. I have 4 children now so I'm probably thought to be 'done' with having babies. Do you have children? (Apologies if that comes across as insensitive, not intended to be!)

I find the less of a 'thing' you make it, the less attention people pay. Just quietly order your drink, if anyone comments on not drinking just say you don't fancy it tonight and change the subject.

More and more people are going alcohol-free these days, so it's hardly unusual.

If you don't always have a drink then you're completely over thinking this.

If I was to do it, I wouldn't be fooling anybody haha

It's just such an obvious excuse. If someone I know tells me they're not drinking cos they don't feel like it I wouldn't think anything of it. The antibiotics one for some reason is a bit suss.

Are you driving there? If you are, there's your reason, a perfectly valid one. I can't drink for medical reasons, and at nearly 60 I'm sure some think I'm a recovering alcoholic!

I think I'd just say I no longer drink in the week. I think this is quite common now, and no one would bat an eyelid.

I don't see why they would make that assumption, unless you have been talking a lot about plans to become pregnant. Plenty of people who aren't teetotal choose not to have an alcoholic drink on at least some of their evenings out. There doesn't have to be any particular reason for it.

I can't say ive ever assumed someone is pregnant because they're not drinking alcohol?
I don't think or assume anything.

No its not. As they say, facts can be stranger than fiction.
There is no alternative that even come close to what I have suggested

I don't think I'd give it a second thought if anyone in the book group I attend drank alcohol or not. (Nor if they might be pregnant; that's their news to share or not if as and when they want.)

Unless you were planning to dance riotously on the table of course...

I would assume that you were pregnant - especially if you said the antibiotic thing because that’s used so frequently as cover. Using Cost of Living as an excuse is probably most appropriate but you’ll have to order a cheap main or starter to make that excuse seem convincing.

I assume that your book group would know If you were an alcoholic (and therefore abstaining)

Sorry, I was trying to say that I do usually drink alcohol at meals out with book group.

I don't usually drink at book group meetings because they're on weeknights. But our meal is next Saturday so the following day isn't a work day - I'd usually drink at a meal with book group on a non-workday.

I'm 38, married, stable job, own house, no children etc. Exactly the profile that you might instantly think "she's pregnant" 😅

Can you say you are driving? I'm sure if I don't drink people are most likely to think I have the car.

No, I can't use the driving excuse!

Why does it matter if they do think that, in the nicest way? If you don't want to drink, don't drink. It's no-one's business but yours. I cut down whilst TTC and no one ever said anything.

I'm not sure why anyone would notice or care.
I certainly wouldn't give it a second though if someone just said they weren't drinking that day.

Say you're trying to cut down and have already had a drink or two on a couple of nights this week. Don't use the antibiotics excuse, it's the oldest trick in the book.

I don’t think people would actually notice. I suppose you could have a drink poured for you and just not drink it? Drink water instead at the table.