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Original poster

DC want to spend pocket money on sweets

75 replies

WindyRainySunny · 29/04/2024 07:55

We've been giving the DC £1 a week for a year or two now. They are 7 and 9. I know it's not much but it's enough to give them a sense of having their own money and whether to spend or save. We always said we would let them buy whatever crap they want, as that's the learning process behind pocket money.

Suddenly due to the timing of a club we are we are all going to the supermarket on Saturday morning to buy some bits for lunch. We normally get online food deliveries so they DC don't actually go to the shops very much!

DS1(9) is very food focused and has a very sweet tooth. He's suddenly noticed all the sweets, and decided to spend the entire £5 he'd saved up on sweets. I wasnt keen, but tried to stick to the rule about letting them buy anything thinking it would be a one off. Of course younger DC copied him.

But now he wants to spend all his money on sweets every week, and has a box of sweets in the kitchen that he is dipping into constantly throughout the day, I just had to stop him having some for breakfast! He was very angry saying "but they're mine! I bought them with my own money!"

I really don't want him constantly eating sweets, before mealtimes etc, should I say that pocket money is for anything except unhealthy food? Or should I let him continue and just be glad it's only £1 a week and not £5! What do others do when their DC have a sweet tooth and money in their pocket?

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 29/04/2024 09:13

We did charity shops with picket money. Small toys or 'breakables' can/could be got for £2 or so.

Rocknrollstar · 29/04/2024 09:14

I am surprised, because at 6 my DS asked his grandpa if he could have the money rather than a packet of sweets every week. Could you encourage them to buy something savoury or a comic? Make sure the next time they say they want a toy that you point out that if they hadn’t bought all the sweets they would have the money for it. Perhaps encourage saving up for when they go on holiday? Personally, I wouldn’t let them buy sweets every week but that’s your choice. Oh, and make sure they brush their teeth after the sweets. They shouldn’t be eating them all afternoon.

Original poster
WindyRainySunny · 29/04/2024 09:39

Thanks all, some very sage advice here - I think I was just shocked at the amount of sweets and chocolate in his pot a couple of weeks ago after his £5 splurge, plus leftover choc from Easter. Yes we will be stricter on the rules.
Also interesting comment from a pp about £1 not really being enough to bother saving up for anything as it's too little - I will give this some thought.

Previous to this, every week it was £1 gone on football cards!

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caringcarer · 29/04/2024 09:43

I'd say he can spend his £1 on what he wants but sweets to be eaten after meals not before. He's realistically not going to get many sweets for £1.

Disasterclass · 29/04/2024 09:43

I think it probably seems like a lot as he'd saved £5 but going forward it will be less unless he saves again. I agree kids should be able to choose what they spend pocket money on (within reason) but then separately there should be parameters in terms of when they can eat sweets

SpaSpa · 29/04/2024 09:45

What else are they going to buy, they’re not going to save up for 4 weeks to buy a comic etc?

CurlewKate · 29/04/2024 10:18

To be honest, unless you're on a very tight budget I don't think that's enough. There's not much you can get for a pound, and it would take so long to save up for anything it would be hard not to get discouraged.

Boxerdor · 29/04/2024 10:19

Can’t get a lot else with a pound so I would be fine with it. But you can control when he eats his sweets so not before breakfast etc

shepherdsangeldelight · 29/04/2024 10:21

My DB and SIL used to have a "rule" that pocket money couldn't be spend on anything edible but the DC were allowed to choose a small amount of sweets each week which they paid for. So this might be something you could consider if you up the amount of pocket money (agree, £1 a week doesn't offer many saving opportunities)?

Moreorlessmentallystable · 02/05/2024 21:56

Yes DC it's your own money/sweeties but I have to teach you about healthy eating, and whilst we are learning let me introduce you to this concept called taxation 🤣...bam, 40% of every pound is gone.

FortunataTagnips · 02/05/2024 22:13

I think I got more than £1 a week for sweets back in 1977!

WoolySnail · 02/05/2024 22:19

As with everything it depends entirely on your child and what they are like. I have 3 (with a six year age gap) and my husband always said any money (Xmas, birthday, holiday etc) was theirs and they could spend on what they liked. I wanted to instill 'use some,save some' but went along with him. I now have two grown up brats living with us who see contributing to anything other than their whims as scandalous, and a 14 year old who is sensible with his money. You know your kids better than anyone so follow your gut. If you're wrong you'll only have deprived them of a few sweets or let them eat the til they get sick of them, so not the end of the world either way :)

ClairemacL · 02/05/2024 22:22

The sweets are his, but that high shelf in the kitchen that he can’t get to probably belongs to you? 😉

Oblomov24 · 02/05/2024 22:22

Sounds fine. It's only £2. Restricting it will just cause more damage re their views of food, surely?

Wigtopia · 03/05/2024 09:00

I used to buy sweets with pocket money at that age and I think it was definitely the done thing! Maybe because it’s more common to have a stash of treats in the house anyway nowadays kids don’t tend to spend on that.

Maybe look at how much he is getting with the pocket money and how much he is having from the family stash (if any). I don’t think he needs to be stopped from spending his money on treats, buts you can still make a clear line of how many treats he has in a day/ what times are appropriate (I.e. not just before dinner/just before bed).

do you have any family rules on kids below X age helping themselves to food? Growing up we always had to check in/ask partially because we would otherwise be like a swarm of locust but also so my parents knew what was/wasn’t left in the cupboards! 😆

Baba197 · 03/05/2024 09:02

I think it’s fine but would have a rule that yes he can buy them but they can only be eaten at certain times of the day and he has to make sure he’s cleaning teeth well. At some point there will be something more he wants and you can say well you need to save up for it and the sweets thing will prob stop. If you stop him it may build up into a bigger obsession where he just goes crazy with sweets each time has any, this way hopefully he will get it out of his system

PurplGirl · 03/05/2024 09:16

You can let them blow the pocket money on whatever they want (which I think is kind of the point of pocket money), whilst still holding a boundary about when sweets are served in your house. So for us, sweets are usually only “on the menu” after tea. I try to avoid vilification of any food (so don’t call them treats, sometimes foods etc). So when they gave sweets or choc, it’s usually as part of their tea, alongside some yoghurt/fruit. My kids do like to spend sone of their pocket money on sweets, usually at their gymnastics class tuck shop. But as there’s a limit to when they can actually at them (ie. After tea), they’re not that bothered about getting loads. And over time, they've gotten into a habit of taking 50p per week for the tuck shop and saving the rest to spend on toys/gift shop trips on days out etc.

I give £1 per year of age per month. So the 8yo gets £8 and the 5yo gets £5. But as the 5yo becomes more aware and wants more stuff (she usually forgets she even has picket money), I may need to make it the same amount. I think giving it in one go each month has helped them to budget and see that money can be spent and saved each month. If I gave £1 per week I doubt they’d save any.

Wishbone436 · 03/05/2024 09:20

I don’t think £1 a week on sweets in a big issue if that’s what he wants, I think it’s more about having a discussion around boundaries as to when he can eat them.

VillageLite · 03/05/2024 09:20

Agree, rules around the time of day are all you need.
We had a not before 10am rule when Dc were little.
And any sweets etc eaten in the half hour before mealtimes were instead of pudding afterwards - amusingly, teen DC still stick to this one themselves, which is quite gratifying, as you really can’t control how much they eat sweets at their age.

elenathevampireslayer · 03/05/2024 09:33

£1 a week on sweets is fine, that will get them hardly anything.

You need to make the rules about when they are allowed to eat them regardless of 'but I brought it with my own money'

Marchingonagain · 03/05/2024 09:37

i don’t let my 6 and 9 year olds have sweets at all (unless at parties) but assuming you don’t mind, could you cut down elsewhere on the amount of sugar they’re getting in the week?

Favouritefruits · 03/05/2024 09:38

Maybe £5 a month would be better than £1 a week, maybe take them on pocket money day to Smyths to buy a small toy or a magazine shop before you go to the supermarket so they can waste it on crap there instead of sweets!

IMustDoMoreExercise · 03/05/2024 09:40

When I give my grandchildren money, I say that they can spend it on anything except food and drink (including sweets, drinks, ice cream etc)

Saying unhealthy food just causes debates.

LadyHavelockVetinari · 03/05/2024 10:09

Sweets are his, but you have rules about when he can eat them. Two separate issues.

Their toys are theirs, but they can't play with them whenever they like, for example they can't play with them when they should be in bed.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 03/05/2024 10:12

I used to buy sweets with my pocket money. Isn't that what pocket money is for at that age? £1 isn't enough to buy anything else, even saving up.