Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

DC want to spend pocket money on sweets

75 replies

WindyRainySunny · 29/04/2024 07:55

We've been giving the DC £1 a week for a year or two now. They are 7 and 9. I know it's not much but it's enough to give them a sense of having their own money and whether to spend or save. We always said we would let them buy whatever crap they want, as that's the learning process behind pocket money.

Suddenly due to the timing of a club we are we are all going to the supermarket on Saturday morning to buy some bits for lunch. We normally get online food deliveries so they DC don't actually go to the shops very much!

DS1(9) is very food focused and has a very sweet tooth. He's suddenly noticed all the sweets, and decided to spend the entire £5 he'd saved up on sweets. I wasnt keen, but tried to stick to the rule about letting them buy anything thinking it would be a one off. Of course younger DC copied him.

But now he wants to spend all his money on sweets every week, and has a box of sweets in the kitchen that he is dipping into constantly throughout the day, I just had to stop him having some for breakfast! He was very angry saying "but they're mine! I bought them with my own money!"

I really don't want him constantly eating sweets, before mealtimes etc, should I say that pocket money is for anything except unhealthy food? Or should I let him continue and just be glad it's only £1 a week and not £5! What do others do when their DC have a sweet tooth and money in their pocket?

OP posts:
TimetohittheroadJack · 29/04/2024 07:58

It’s only £1 per week, which is hardly enough to buy 1 packet surely!

BigBadBarri · 29/04/2024 07:58

You still step in and help him make good choices as a parent. If he wanted to buy a knife or some matches you’d do the same.

id say he could spend £1 on sweets as a rule. Definitely no need to be buying £5 of sweets a week and then dipping in to them all day!

BigBadBarri · 29/04/2024 07:59

Oh I misread - it’s £1 per week?! Then I’d say that’s fine - he can only really buy one pack of sweets for that anyway

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Cost of living Families General food
IWantOut29 · 29/04/2024 08:02

TimetohittheroadJack · 29/04/2024 07:58

It’s only £1 per week, which is hardly enough to buy 1 packet surely!

I agree with this. £1 a week isnt going to buy a lot of sweets

I have a 7 and a 9 year old and I used to give them £1 each a day for the shop after school and then buy them the toys/crafts ect they wanted on top ( didnt buy crafts and toys everyday 😅 )

But the bills are getting higher and my money doesnt spread as far now, so I give them £5 a week each on a Saturday and its up to them whether they spend it or save it.

DS is very food orientated and loves buying his own sweets and drinks, but he also wants a toy set that costs £50. Hes currently saved up £36

DD spends all of hers on crystals and barely buys sweets, she has zero saved 😂

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 29/04/2024 08:02

Spending pocket money on sweets is very normal! Don’t stop him. “Yes DS, they are yours. Nobody is going to take them away, but that doesn’t mean you can spend all day eating them.”

theduchessofspork · 29/04/2024 08:03

You just have a separate rule about when they can have sweets - 1 after dinner, half a packet on Saturdays or whatever you want, . He cannot eat then for breakfast just because he bought them, anymore than he can play with a toy at school just because he bought that.

He can’t buy much on a pound a week so I wouldn’t worry about it

Mrsjayy · 29/04/2024 08:06

Its a pound on a Saturday morning on some sweets, it really isn't as big a deal that your making out.

marzipanlover81 · 29/04/2024 08:11

strictly no food in bedrooms

yes he can choose what he buys
but it’s kept in kitchen and he has to ask before he takes

ShelfShark · 29/04/2024 08:12

I think you need reminding that you are the parent. This is a classic example of child led parenting.

It’s your job to keep you children safe and healthy and you should be able to enforce rules about what they can spend their money on and what they can eat. Grow a spine OP.

helplesshopeless · 29/04/2024 08:14

I specifically remember doing this myself when I was prob around 11/12 Grin except I had them in my bedroom, safely hidden away from my older sister! My mum did protest meekly but to be honest the novelty wore off fairly quickly so it didn't last long.

qwertyqwertyqwertyqwerty · 29/04/2024 08:15

Buying the sweets and eating them for breakfast are two separate issues.

He can spend a pound on sweets, then he can eat them in line with house rules.

DilemmaDelilah · 29/04/2024 08:15

I would let them spend it on sweets, but limit when they can eat them. So - not before meals or for snacks. A defined amount after lunch and/or after tea.

There will be a time when they want a specific toy and you can tell them then that of course they can buy it with their pocket money. They may then come to the realisation that buying sweets equals having no money to buy toys. It is all part of learning.

Helar · 29/04/2024 08:17

If you think it’s too many sweets then you have to stop it. Having a box in the house is just going to cause trouble negotiating and arguing.

Set whatever limit you think is right - eg you may buy one small bar of chocolate per week. Then once it’s gone, no more. And he has to spend the money on other things or save it.

Perhaps it would help to look around for something he might like to save up for, like a toy or cinema trip etc.

DelurkingAJ · 29/04/2024 08:21

Separate the two things. DS2 (8, sweet tooth) has his bag of sweets and chocolate (Easter, parties etc) in the kitchen but only gets them for ‘tea time’ (which is the afternoon snack here) and we regulate how much he can have and roughly match it to the three biscuits he’d have otherwise.

HottestEverRecordedTemperature · 29/04/2024 08:21

It will pass once the novelty wears off and then they will do other things.

I have always had a rule that the DCs can do as they wish. The first several weeks they got pocket money they would buy sweets or crap plastic tat. But then they just started to get a bit more savvy and now mine are really good at saving for what they really want. DS1 is now mainly buying books (he's 14) and Ds2 buys clothes or magazines. You can gently remind them (without being pious about it) if they want other stuff that they could save their pocket money.

I was quite worried at first at the crap they bought- but tbf I waste money on trinkets like earrings so I can hardly talk. But now they are really sensible with the occasional splurge- DS1 this past weekend spent about a tenner on doritos, soft drinks and cake but that was unusual now.

PixiePirate · 29/04/2024 08:22

If you want to encourage saving and discourage so many sweets you could say that you expect them to save a quarter of it towards something special or Christmas gifts. My parents did this and it did get me into the habit of saving.

i think some general principles around sweet purchases/consumption would be wise anyway, as before long they’ll start receiving lots of cash for Christmas and birthdays.

Mayhemmumma · 29/04/2024 08:25

Problem is it's not enough money to buy anything else - unless they're willing to save up but it sounds like they want the instant gratification.
I do £5 a week and it avoids this. It's worth saving for a couple of weeks for a good amount.

Mrsjayy · 29/04/2024 08:26

I meant to say, you should be controlling when he eats his £5 sweetie haul If he is just helping himself that's just greedy.

GHSP · 29/04/2024 08:30

Once he’s got through the £5 of sweets then £1 a week isn’t going to get him very much. I’d not get in between him and his sweets, as he has to learn to self-moderate.

winterwarmer8274 · 29/04/2024 08:34

I agree about £1 a week not being enough to save for anything. If they wanted something that was £20 - this would take them almost 5 months to save for!

After 5 weeks of not buying anything, they're bound to get impatient and want to spend it. And only having £5, sweets seem like a good choice because you're going to get a decent amount for your money. There's not much else a child would want that they could get with £5.

Totally understand if £1 is all you can afford, but they're never going to be able to buy anything decent with it.

sashh · 29/04/2024 08:41

Isn't the idea of pocket money to let children spend it on what they want?

Yes saving is a good habit to get in to but it isn't everything.

I'd probably use a bit of bribery. Get them a jam jar each so you can see in to it, on Saturday morning put their pocket money in the jar. If there is a £1 from last week you put £1.20 in or £1.05 or whatever.

CurlewKate · 29/04/2024 08:47

How many sweets can you get for a quid?

SongWriter · 29/04/2024 08:53

He’s not going to get many sweets for £1 and his £5 stash will soon run out.

Sweets don’t replace meals, so I wouldn’t allow him to eat them for breakfast. Other than that, let it go.

Topseyt123 · 29/04/2024 09:08

He really can't get many sweets for £1 a week, so on that score I wouldn't worry.

However, I would set some limits on the times he can eat sweets when he has managed to get some money together (perhaps grandparents or other relatives also slip him some extra whenever they see him?). Tell him what times of day he can eat the sweets, and make it a rule that they are not going to be allowed to replace proper meals.

When I was his age (far too long ago now) I was allowed a few sweets or a packet of crisps as a mid morning snack during school break time and/or maybe again on the walk home after school. This was in the 1970s. I didn't really have pocket money as such at first because decimalisation was just coming in and my parents wanted to let things settle down and get used to it themselves properly before letting me start to handle money.

Once I did get my own allowance though, those were roughly the rules that were applied. You can surely do similar?

frozendaisy · 29/04/2024 09:11

I would let him buy sweets but still have the house rules of no sweets before meals.

That way he has the autonomy of the £1 per week but you keep the house rules about sweets.

Swipe left for the next trending thread