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Original poster

Would you take time off work for this?

30 replies

Sparksi · 28/04/2024 21:05

I’m feeling quite low lately, coming to the end of my first trimester with our much wanted and loved rainbow baby and never expected I’d have just felt so disconnected from myself! I’m worrying/ruminating over a lot and questioning elements of my life that I never even thought twice about before pregnant, such as my job, my family etc. I have lost interest in some things and worry a hundred times more about others. I can’t tell how much is hormones and normal changes in pregnancy or how much might be prenatal anxiety / slight prenatal depression.

I don’t think work is the problem but I definitely can’t give 100% right now and want to feel the best version of myself. I know how important that is going forward for me and my baby.

Would you take time off for this? I’m not sure what to do for the best re work. I’m going to ring the GP this week to discuss support for the way I’m feeling but not sure whether to also ask to be signed off, just for some headspace and opportunity for me to focus on me. I am lucky to have plenty of support at home from DH, family and friends but still feel as great as they all are none of them understand what it’s like to be pregnant after loss, or even pregnant right now for that matter. I feel as though I need to apply the brakes work wise but want to maintain my work ethic as I hope to go back to work after maternity, even if only part time

Thanks MNers x

OP posts:
Dewdilly · 28/04/2024 21:06

Can you not take some leave?

Original poster
Sparksi · 28/04/2024 21:07

Dewdilly · 28/04/2024 21:06

Can you not take some leave?

Yes I could

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparksi · 28/04/2024 21:08

Probably not soon though as commitments in the calendar for the next few weeks.

OP posts:

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1st trimester Families General pregnancy
JacquiDaytona · 28/04/2024 21:10

No you can’t. (and I say that as someone who got pregnant after multiple losses and multiple rounds of ivf!)

You can’t get signed off because you want to focus on yourself.

Flowersonmyorchid · 28/04/2024 21:11

No, not if it was in the period that would count towards my maternity pay assessment. To be honest I wouldn't anyway, I'd just muddle through - "the best version of yourself" is going to take a hit with sleep deprivation anyway.

Revelatio · 28/04/2024 21:12

Just take some annual leave? That’s what it’s there for, most people take some time off for a holiday for a break from work.

SnowSnow · 28/04/2024 21:14

It sounds like you are struggling with your mental health so I would say speak to GP as you intend to and get signed off if you are struggling with working too

MultiplaLight · 28/04/2024 21:14

Keep the job to distract from the navel gazing.

Really stop over thinking.

Very kindly, you aren't the first person to be pregnant after a loss. Many women have been through that experience. They won't always share, but they have been there.

Totally practically it could fuck up your mat pay.

BusyCM · 28/04/2024 21:18

No way. The fact that you're asking shows the difference between employed and self employed.

I.e. you're only considering it because you'd be paid.

Teenagehorrorbag · 28/04/2024 21:18

I know what you mean but agree with PP that you can't take time off, but do tell your boss you have 'pregnancy brain' and please can they cut you some slack. I had a long fertility journey ending in IVF abroad with donor eggs. I was mainly pretty well but did get tired, especially towards the end.

I remember I was supposed to drive a couple of hours to one of my customers to deliver some training, and just couldn't face it. I think I was at that exhausted stage. I rang a colleague and asked him to do it for me (which he was fine with) and let my customer know about the change. She didn't say anything but I felt she was not impressed.......

Especially if you are planning to return to the job later, try to keep going. Of course if you have serious sickness or something it's different - but otherwise just feeling a bit hormonal is not a reason to get signed off.

Congratulations on your baby!

NewName24 · 28/04/2024 21:26

No, I wouldn't.
I agree with @MultiplaLight
It is surely better for you to have work to think about rather than just having 24/7 to worry and fret?

Chardonnay73 · 28/04/2024 21:33

I had to give up work at 20 weeks due to pregnancy related health issues. On bed rest. It was horrendous. I was bored senseless and my pregnancy anxiety went through the roof worrying about all the what ifs.
if you are prone to anxiety, personally I would speak to your GP but try to carry on as normal as possible to keep the normality going.

SirChenjins · 28/04/2024 21:44

No, I don’t think that what you’re describing warrants going off sick. Speak to your GP and see what support they can offer you, and perhaps think about taking some annual leave to get a bit of a break. Work is a good distraction, and it can help to keep you moving forward.

TTPD · 28/04/2024 21:48

Well I think it maybe sounds like it might be worth speaking to your GP, if you're concerned about low mood.

In terms of asking to be signed off, I don't think they'd even do it at this point - you can self certify for 7 days so I imagine they'd only do it after that point anyway. I've been signed off work for mental health reasons in the past, for short periods in both my pregnancies so I'm not dismissing it, but it sounds like work could be a good distraction for you. It was for me once I got to the point where I was capable (which I really wasn't for a while, I had a total breakdown both times).

If I were you I'd book some annual leave when you can, even if it's in a few weeks, and plan some things to do in that week that you'll enjoy.

Original poster
Sparksi · 28/04/2024 21:48

Thanks everyone, I’ll speak to the GP as intended. I think feeling low has just caught me off guard as I’m generally happy and a bit carefree. I do think business as usual is a good distraction and keeps normality. I just don’t want to make it worse in any way.

OP posts:
setmestraightplease · 28/04/2024 22:06

With kindness, I think that getting pregnant is something that women take into account in their working life - it's not an illness.

Whilst understanding you may have worries and concerns, physical pregnancy is not something that would /should be seen as normally impacting unduly on working life.
If you are having emotional /psychological effects of being pregnant, then you owe it to your employer to see your GP - it's more of a personal problem than a work-induced problem.
Having said that, I wish you the very best of luck with your pregnancy x

Perfectlystill · 28/04/2024 22:08

You'll be even worse if you take time off to indulge in this pointless navel gazing.

RubyCustard · 28/04/2024 22:17

Perfectlystill · 28/04/2024 22:08

You'll be even worse if you take time off to indulge in this pointless navel gazing.

This is an awfully insensitive and rude post. I hope you feel better for being so shitty towards a woman who is having a difficult time in early pregnancy.

OP, I would absolutely take a week off to focus on your mental health. It sounds like you need it. Some people lack empathy find it difficult to understand if they haven’t walked in your shoes. Take care.

xxxjanxxx · 28/04/2024 22:34

@Sparksi Pregnancy can have the effect of making you re-evaluate your life and your priorities but this isn't really a work-induced problem that they should be responsible for.

You've decided to try for a baby and that comes with responsibilities for balancing with your work life.

It would be so much easier if you were a man!! (now is possibly not the time to point out the inequality tho 🫣)

TTPD · 28/04/2024 22:47

As I said upthread, I don't think OP necessarily needs time off for this. But why are people saying it's not a "work-induced" problem? How is that relevant? People take time off work all the time (most of the time I'd say) for things not caused by work. It's the level of severity of an illness/injury that determines whether you need time off work, not the cause.

setmestraightplease · 28/04/2024 23:07

@TTPD It's the level of severity of an illness/injury that determines whether you need time off work, not the cause.

Fair enough.
But is 'lowness of mood' genuinely a reasonable 'level of severity of an illness/injury ' to take time off work??

TwattyMcFuckFace · 28/04/2024 23:17

As others have said, no, use your annual leave.

Hope you feel better soon.

CrazyAboutYou · 28/04/2024 23:22

Sorry you are feeling low. Do you think time off would actually help, or would you just feel more anxious if your brain wasn’t occupied with work.

It’s probably worth having a chat with your midwife/GP and seeing what they advise. I hope you’re feeling brighter soon.

JoyousPinkPeer · 29/04/2024 08:52

Sounds as though you are asking about being absent from work long term otherwise you'd just self certify for a short period.

Personally, I believe that work is actually beneficial to your mental health so I wouldn't recommend going off sick unless you really do need to.

Jellybelly888 · 30/04/2024 22:39

Again, you’re worrying so much and you have a healthy pregnancy.

Im self employed, had a MMC at 11 weeks only 2 weeks ago and the DAY AFTER I passed the baby and buried it in my back garden, I was back at work acting as through nothing had happened, despite having soaked through endless pads during the day.

I think you need to really look at the bigger picture here and respect your employer. You sound like you know you’ll get paid for being off sick and your commitment to work isn’t even a consideration.

Sorry if this is harsh, it’s just really touched a nerve with me.

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