Would you take time off work for this?

[Sparksi]

I’m feeling quite low lately, coming to the end of my first trimester with our much wanted and loved rainbow baby and never expected I’d have just felt so disconnected from myself! I’m worrying/ruminating over a lot and questioning elements of my life that I never even thought twice about before pregnant, such as my job, my family etc. I have lost interest in some things and worry a hundred times more about others. I can’t tell how much is hormones and normal changes in pregnancy or how much might be prenatal anxiety / slight prenatal depression.

I don’t think work is the problem but I definitely can’t give 100% right now and want to feel the best version of myself. I know how important that is going forward for me and my baby.

Would you take time off for this? I’m not sure what to do for the best re work. I’m going to ring the GP this week to discuss support for the way I’m feeling but not sure whether to also ask to be signed off, just for some headspace and opportunity for me to focus on me. I am lucky to have plenty of support at home from DH, family and friends but still feel as great as they all are none of them understand what it’s like to be pregnant after loss, or even pregnant right now for that matter. I feel as though I need to apply the brakes work wise but want to maintain my work ethic as I hope to go back to work after maternity, even if only part time

Thanks MNers x

Firstly, I’m incredibly sorry for your loss and cannot imagine how difficult that must have been. The outcome of this is that I am continuing to work and finding other ways to boost my mood, that has been my decision. So far so good. That being said there is never any shame for taking time off - for physical or mental reasons, nor any merit for pushing through when you really need time off (sounds like you definitely should have taken it, you went through a lot there). Thanks for your comment but I think it’s not appropriate and comes across as spiteful. Sending healing thoughts and I wish you all the very best for the future.

Well said OP. I’m very sorry for the pp loss but their post was very nasty.

I hope you’re ok. 💐

Not nasty, OP has asked for opinions on a public forum and that’s mine, which doesn’t align with her views.

The OP has posted a lot of threads for trivial things in excess over the last few weeks and if she doesn’t get the answers she’s looking for, starts a fresh thread and changes the wording to encourage the answer she’s looking for. But feel free to call me nasty based on that.

I don’t think this warrants time off sick and as other posters have said, annual leave may be helpful now. Reassessing everything in life is definitely normal especially when you’re going through a life changing event.

It does sound like a constant cycle of worry for you and even when pregnancy itself is going well the worry moves elsewhere.
I know I’ve mentioned about getting support but I really would encourage you to look at local counselling services (women’s centres etc) as anything NHS will likely take a while and it seems you need something now. Anything you try to put in place seems to be short lived and then cycle starts again.

I don’t want to be dismissive but I think perspective is needed and to consider the bigger picture. I don’t think anyone is being nasty or spiteful but the constant worrying over mostly silly and insignificant things does sting for posters who are going though a lot and constant loss after loss. Some of the posts in the TTC MC forums really do give perspective.

When you seek out constant advice online it says to me that you can’t give yourself the reassurance you need so I’d suggest it’s time to work on that in therapy.
Even when you do get support and reassurance online it doesn’t seem to help or last long. You also dismiss posters who give advice you don’t like.. which unfortunately is the risk of seeking advice from strangers online!

If you were to look back at this pregnancy at the end of the year, would you say you let your worries take over and detract from the joys of a healthy pregnancy?

Try to live in the moment a little more as opposed ruminating on the past and future - experience the joys of a healthy pregnancy and consider some proper professional support in the immediate as I don’t think MN can give you what you need right now.

I Say this with kindness OP. You say you are ruminating. But then you say you want to take time off to focus on yourself. Focusing on yourself IS ruminating and depression and ruminating are closely linked. If it was me, I know it helps not to look inwardly as much, but to focus outwardly on a job that needs doing, or on others. I think work can be a great distraction at times like this.