WWYD if your child refused to wear a coat

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...or a jumper, or anything with long sleeves. In fact he is wearing shorts and a t-shirt and then refuses to put on extra layers if we are going to go outside. I try not to fight battles, and I usually turn everything into a game and realise it's not worth causing drama over, but honestly this is starting to get me down! Generally he's always running around in a t-shirt but some days it's just too cold I think - eg 7 degrees - and I feel like I can't let him go out in just little shorts and a t-shirt.

Should I just let him out in all weather dressed like this or what? I don't want a battle of the wills and it's not worth it big where do you draw the line?!

He's nearly 4 btw.

His shorts argument is that if its wet his skin will dry faster than breeks so it's actually better and I can't argue with that!

This. Carry coat and wave it about a bit if somwhere like the park. My daughter is nearly 4 and did this all winter, it was excruciating and I had 3 strangers ask me isn't she cold. Ultimately I couldn't make her wear a coat and she said she wasn't cold so short of forcing them into it, what can you do? At least we're hopefully heading into warmer weather.

I give them a bag with their coat in.

Im not carrying their stuff. I hate carrying stuff. I also hate wearing a coat….and really only do so if it’s tipping it down…

My child did this and was not asd.

We had him assessed (for other reasons) so is officially not asd as it were.

It is very very common particularly with boys.

I was just coming on to post that my DS who's now an adult and is not autistic hated wearing anything like a sweatshirt or coat...
I have photos of him playing snowball fights in a t-shirt! He was kept in at play time in reception because he wouldn't put on a coat...(Until I went in and told them he never wears one).
Some kids just don't feel the cold..

I carried packable down jackets either in the car or a backpack.

DD now 18, still rarely wears a coat. Sub zero poland she actually wore a fleece, shocker 😖🙄🤣🥶!!!

We've just had one of the wettest winters. A coat would have been appropriate every day of going outside. In the summer not so. If this kid won't ever wear a coat or even a jumper I'd not be certain they could make a sensible body temperature judgement. At what age do you just not bother and let them catch a cold, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8? I appreciate it's different with a teen.

Mine has been a coat refuser since he started school. He finished last year and never once wore a coat over his blazer or suit ( in sixth form). Now at 19 he has started to wear a puffa jacket during the winter or a jumper over a t shirt to go out. But is back in shorts now we are approaching the end of April.
Disappeared off last night to meet up with a friend for maccies at 10.30 in t shirt and shorts.
I think some children just don’t feel the cold. DS is very athletic so doesn’t carry much of a fat layer and tends to be very active. He was always moving as a child. It’s very rare that he complains about being cold.
I gave up buying coats when he was going through his big growth spurts because they were never used.
Once he hit 16 he was the same size as DH so would use his coats if he needed a waterproof.

It hasn’t done him any harm. Rarely gets colds or other infections. I always had a coat or hoody in the car for him but they rarely got used.

I just took the appropriate clothing with me from 4 onwards. Now he's a teenager and failed to develop hypothermia in the past decade, I offer my advice and consider my maternal duty done.

3 was the hard stage. At 2, I could do a lot of fudging with the cosytoes on the buggy, but by 4 he'd clearly survived a few years and could communicate if he was actually cold.

While he is autistic with SPD, he does genuinely run hot and glows much larger white hotspots on thermal imaging cameras than the rest of the family.

Checking the nape of the neck is a good indicator of core temperature and much more informative than the extremities.

Get him a body warmer and a vest maybe? Does he hate things on his arms or is he just a warm person?

I don't think my boys have ASD but they both preferred shorts to trousers, even in the snow! At 4 I would take a jumper with me as I don't think little kids are always good at gauging temperature, though.

Both of mine used to do this at times when they were small. I would just carry a coat and if we passed someone who I thought might judge me, I would loud parent ask them if they "would like to put their coat on now".

DD1 is now a teenager so wears coat if it works with her outfit, totally NT.

DD1 has some mild sensory issues, around food textures, clothes labels and will not wear two items both with long sleeves. She doesn't have ASD, but is ND.

Children have to learn, just telling them that they will get cold means nothing to them. Let him learn what getting cold/wet/ hot means.

Ds is 16yo. He wears shorts and t-shirt all year, including to school and through the snow. I did buy him school trousers the first year of secondary, but as he never wore them I saved the money the next year. The only thing was I said to him that if he decided he wanted trousers I needed 24 hours notice!

He doesn't own a coat. After the last two went out to the charity shop unworn, I didn't think it was worth it. Last time he wore a coat was when he was about 6yo.

Dd1 is often seen to be wearing 2 coats in the middle of summer (one fleece under a full winter one). She's in her 20s and feels the cold.

Thanks, this is all really helpful. Universal responses - apart from one outlier.

I'll back off completely and continue to take jumpers with us. He also won't wear underpants but that's another story! Am hoping that positive peer pressure in Reception will make him want to. (Yes I've tried offering cool cartoon underpants and seamless ones).

I'm amazed how many parents would rather let their child go out cold than actually be the authority/adult in the situation and make them wear a coat.

Can you elaborate on what the problem is though OP (I’ve only read all of OP’s posts so I’m assuming everyone is saying let him crack on). You can’t get ill from being cold generally so what’s the issue? Take a layer with you if you want. Or are you worried about others judging? They can bore off.

This - I always made them take a rucksack if going out all day with a jumper etc and had warm clothes in a car.

My son is in shorts 365 days a year

But why the need to be authoritative if the kid is perfectly happy? Why make an issue where there is none?

YOU may be ‘always always cold’ but surely you can understand that not everyone is like you.

But many children actually aren’t cold without a coat? And if they are then they quickly learn that the consequence of not wearing a coat is that they get cold. It’s a much more valuable way to learn over an adult forcing a coat on them.

Sometimes the best way to teach a child is to let them experience something and see for themselves that it's not nice. That way, they want to avoid it.

Obviously that's not something you can do with things that could cause serious harm but refusing a coat? Fine. Go without a coat. Feel cold. They learn that feeling cold is actually something real which they don't learn if you just fight it out with them year after year.

Also there's the stubborn for stubborn's sake element. Kids can be little buggers for that and sometimes the best move is to say well, I've warned you. And not get into it.

Appropriate and sensible are subjective to your personal thermal comfort though.

Lots of people feel very different in the same environments. You only need to observe the office window/thermostat wars to know that.

Being in the cold doesn't give you a cold, catching the cold virus does.

Don't see why anyone needs to exert their adult authority to prevent a non existent issue.

Different if you're at risk of hyperthermia in the mountains, then becoming dangerously cold when you will struggle to get warm again it's foolhardy. But most 4yo can be whisked indoors if they are unhappy with their wet or cold condition (and many will just play on happily in the rain). Meanwhile they get to make one tiny decision and begin to understand their own limits.

My son always refuses a coat or jumper so I pack them anyway and when he feels the cold later on then we have the option.

He runs warm and he likes to be independent with his clothing choices so it's just easier not to battle over it!

haha, I wish I'd been able to do this.

Re seamless socks, it sounds like you have a solution that works (we tried inside out, didn't work) but FYI, thesockshop does a good bamboo seamless sock for some ridiculously cheap price if you buy 3-5 pairs at a time. They don't last as well -seamless after all - but they were life changing for us.

I'm amazed by the certainty people have that it's just about "being the adult".