Housing question

[Bluebirthdaycard]

Hi, I've been on the housing register since last July. I have a 17 and 13 year old and no longer want to be with their dad. This is the reason I have given for requiring a property. I've been put on band c and have now just bid on my 31st property. I'm for the most part always ranked at over 20. Basically I'm losing hope and won't even be considered for a shared ownership, has anyone else been in my position to give me a bit of hope?

Are you married to him? If you are it's not just his, it's part yours and will be divvied up in the divorce along with savings and pensions belonging to either of you.

You seem to be viewing your choices as shared ownership or social housing. Why is private rental being discarded as an option? That would be the most usual step for someone exiting a relationship, not married and the other person owns the home.

Go on the Entitled To website to see if you're eligible for any benefits if you're on a low wage.

When the 17yr old turns 18 they need to be getting a job and paying their own way. So if it's a 3 bedroom house you're renting, they need to be chipping in for the rent and council tax as well as utilities. Because if it was just you and the 14yr old, you'd be able to rent a 2 bedroom flat and claim 25% single adult discount on the council tax.

If you stay as you are, you're going to be in the situation until your youngest turns 18, then you'll be eligible for a one bedroom over 55s council flat.

In the nicest possible way to your question I don't really give two hoots what he thinks. I would say I'm the resident parent as the responsibility of them has pretty much been down to me for the last 17 years. As he's the main breadwinner (I work part time) he sees and has seen my contribution as minimal.

Sadly yes

I've no idea, in a "discussion" not long ago he said there's not much left to pay.

You don't have to tolerate that, you're not an under 10yr old child. You maybe friends but he's opposite sex and you're not in a relationship with him. I imagine it's this that has got you band C status instead of band D. You're entitled to a bedroom if your own.

This is going to break down very quickly when one or other of you meets someone else. Be prepared to upgrade your information with the housing register when he inevitably kicks you out, if you have no claim to the property.

I take it he'd let the DC stay? So it's just you who'd be homeless, which would affect your bedroom allocation. They don't care whether you can have DC to stay, the DC would be housed so not qualify for a bedroom with you. You'd also have to pay child maintenance to him and he'd get the child benefit. You'd have homeless priority status for housing but not the additional status of dependant DC. Unless he kicks the DC out too.

It doesn't work like that. RP is literally who they live with. He could easily kick you out but not them. He will then be RP by default because you're unable to provide a home for them.

That poster was asking if he'll "be reasonable" ie sell the house and split proceeds from the sale with you, since you've paid into it. Or will he just think sod you, we're not married and refuse to give you anything? If there's not much left to pay that means there'll soon be 100% equity, unless any other loans have been secured against the house. Look up the value of similar houses in the area. Although that's a moot point if he's not going to give you anything.

As I'm not on the mortgage nor are we married, legally I'm not entitled to a thing as far as I know. This is why I've gone onto the housing list or trying to get a shared ownership on my own.

I really don't know, which is ridiculous I know. The mortgage comes out of the joint account but I'm not on the mortgage. As I work part time my contribution to the joint account is less than his.

I'm going to speak to the shared ownership place who tried to phone me and ask them what I can do to potentially be accepted.

You have a roof over your head. Your ex needs to throw you out. Once you are homeless they will need to house you. Though it may be in a B&B, etc for a while before you get offered a property

Yes he is that unreasonable. He said he'd made a will, on a scrap piece of paper, not witnessed when I asked him where he's put it, his reply was "it's not hard to find".

He has a responsibility to his children - could you persuade him to give you some money to increase your deposit for shared ownership?

If you and he can’t talk about this you should see a solicitor who can advise you.

https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/find-information/housing/housing-rights-separation/

If he has any morals though, he'll sell up and give you half. So does he have any morals or not? Because it has a huge impact on your future.

It's also just dawned on me that as this situation seems new, you could still be paying half the mortgage. If he's indicated that he has no intention of selling up and giving you half the equity or if you think that's what will happen, you should definitely stop paying anything more towards the property. You have no legal liability for it and if you're not going to benefit from any payments there's no point you paying. He could even be using you, deliberately waiting until the mortgage is paid off by you both, before kicking you out without a penny.

If you're splitting up and haven't already done this, you should split finances completely. So your wages go into solely your account and you buy food for yourself not him, you both chip in for DC (because they're his) and utilities/council tax like you would with any other house-mate.

I'd turn the living room into a bedroom for yourself too, if there's no other rooms. You're effectively a lodger, whether you're paying half the bills or paying eg £150/wk rent and no bills. Lodgers have no rights by the way, so he can still kick you out with a week's notice. If you get him to give you a Lodger's Agreement (can't remember exactly what it's called, templates available online) you can claim help with rent if you're on a low income, through universal credit. No more doing his laundry or cooking either and only your fair share of housework.

You'll get more sympathetic help from authorities if you've obviously split up. Living in the same bedroom and sharing finances etc, you're basically still in a relationship in their eyes.

Your 18 year old should look on the Entitled To website as well when they get a job as they're likely to be on a low wage. Over 18s are adults and not their parents responsibility. They are their own household regardless of where they live. Although they're only entitled to a shared house rate of housing allowance, not a one bedroom property rate. It'll still help with the rent though if they live with you. You'd need to put them on the tenancy so they'd have evidence of liability for shared housing costs.

I think I would struggle to even get child maintenance from him. He doesn't like financially contributing towards them (apart from Xmas and birthdays). I know he keeps the roof over their head but he did that before any of us came along anyway. No doubt he'll start having a go at our ds when he gets in as he left the bathroom tap running last night, calling him a useless c*.

I'd see a divorce solicitor about the house though, you could perhaps win something in court if you've literally paid half the mortgage from the start and brought up DC like a family and now you're 50. That's a long time and it might count for something. Or it might not. Think I'd be getting advice to check though, before giving up and walking away empty handed.

Yes he is that unreasonable. He said he'd made a will, on a scrap piece of paper, not witnessed when I asked him where he's put it, his reply was "it's not hard to find"

Ok so he's likely to be an arse about it all. He also doesn't have a will. That ⬆️ is not a will.

According to Gingerbread if you’ve been paying in to the joint account and the mortgage payments have been taken from that account you may have a beneficial interest in the property.
They say it’s a complicated area of the law and you’ll need to see a solicitor. I’d do that.

Thank you but to clarify - we're not married, he had a house and mortgage when we met, we've moved house a couple of times, the first house we moved to together I worked full time and paid half for everything (but was never on the mortgage) for about 3 years, when ds was born I worked part time and have done since, so my contribution wasn't as much. I definitely need to start working more hours or I'm stuffed as I am.