I'm shallow and I hate it

[Bebedoo]

Went for a few days away with my DP last week and looking back I realise since he has gone completely bald, I've taken no photos of us together. I hate writing this but I am suddenly very aware of how much I value appearances. We've had sex once since he cut all of his hair and it really freaked me out, like he wasn't the same person. Is it that I'm awful or is it that I don't love him enough to not let this be a big thing?

I have always struggled with how laid back and unambitious he is, leaving me to be the decision maker and main earner. I've looked past this because he's a good balance to my high anxiety/suspected autism

I think it sounds more like it’s really about your deeper feelings around his lack of ambition and contribution financially as well as leaving the life admin stuff to you. The hair sounds like a minor issue somehow. I don’t think you are shallow. I think you are not happy with him as a partner.

Came here to say this. Let’s hope that he loves the real you inside your body and will stay by yourside if life throws age, sickness and other things at you.

If you don’t love this man let him free to find someone who will.

Ha. I’d give him his marching orders. No one is shaggable with a mullet

Omg yes! All my friends are peri and it’s an excuse to be a dick.

Now employers don’t want young women as they might have babies and they don’t want older women because we’ll go nuts and be anxious and intolerant. Women in the workplace set back years. Stop it!

You’ve got the ick and it sounds like there is more to it that just his lack of hair.

You can’t help that you’re not attracted to him anymore though, I don’t find bald men attractive, but you need to decide whether you can be with someone you don’t find attractive, as well as all the other things you find annoying about him.

Life is too short to be in a relationship you’re not happy in.

Not particularly helpful to the discussion, perhaps, but I’m not keen on the modern preoccupation with men shaving their heads as soon as hair starts thinning. Sounds like you might feel the same, op. My dp has thick hair - and a not-so-small bald patch on the crown. It looks fine. I certainly find it far preferable to a shaved head at this stage.

However, I agree with pps that there is also more going on here.

He got it cut today without me asking thank god lol it was making me cringe

This is fucking horrible tbh it screams me me me. "As much as I love him..." what about the poor man that had bloody alopecia. Think he got off lucky

I don't think you're shallow, more that you've fallen out of love and you had "at least he's attractive (to you)" to fall back on.

Now that that's gone as well, all the problems are more obvious.

LTBB

Agreeing a lot with PPs. There is more going on. But I think I've always reasoned that noone is perfect so I can put up with the other stuff. Now him being a bit moody or snappy seems too difficult to put up with. Like I say, I don't want to feel this way. I have tons of faults including my crazy brain.

I hate that this is completely it 😔

Maybe you think it’s horrible, but the pp can’t help how she felt. 🤷🏻‍♀️ She said she loved him, that doesn’t mean that she would has to find him attractive regardless, and you can’t help what you find attractive or unattractive.

🤣

Eh?

🍷

😂 has everyone been on the wine? 🍷