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Original poster

Wondering what things you found you were excluded from when you became pregnant and then had children?

35 replies

SwordToFlamethrower · 17/04/2024 09:58

What were your barriers and exclusions? Did you think they were unreasonable?

I'll start.

My yoga class wouldn't accept me anymore

Wasn't allowed to do a gardening course (that was 60% coursework and the rest was doing cuttings and planting seeds)

Couldn't do pretend sword fighting with a foam sword (at a cosplay event) participants weren't hitting each other, they were hitting dummies.

Did anyone have any truly ridiculous exclusions that pissed them off?

OP posts:
60andsomething · 17/04/2024 09:59

Well, I couldn't go to work at weekends, so that meant I had to hand my promotion back.

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/04/2024 09:59

Pilates is the only thing I can think of.

Original poster
SwordToFlamethrower · 17/04/2024 09:59

(To add that the gardening course wouldn't let me bring my newborn baby in a pram)

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
60andsomething · 17/04/2024 10:00

Perfectly reasonable for exercise classes to exclude pregnant women if the exercise is not suitable for pregnant women

60andsomething · 17/04/2024 10:00

SwordToFlamethrower · 17/04/2024 09:59

(To add that the gardening course wouldn't let me bring my newborn baby in a pram)

well, of course they wouldn't! That would be completely inappropriate!

PuttingDownRoots · 17/04/2024 10:08

Anywhere where children aren't allowed? Theatre shows, cinema, restaurants, nightclubs, sporting activities, courses... loafs of things have age limits. You are allowed, the child isn't.

StuffLoriThangs · 17/04/2024 10:10

I don’t think any of those things are unreasonable exclusions

MidnightPatrol · 17/04/2024 10:15

TBH since having a baby no, I don't think there's anything I've been too surprised isn't child-friendly.

When pregnant it is all a bit spurious however. The amount of things you can't do 'just in case' always seemed very elaborate, given I was perfectly able to work full time, commute etc until the bitter end.

I hated not being allowed proper massages, given how uncomfortable I was it would have really helped.

I think a lot of places are fearful if something goes wrong you'll sue (when pregnant), and they don't want to be at risk of that.

Overthebow · 17/04/2024 10:18

None of your examples are unreasonable. Of course you couldn’t join in your yoga class, teachers need to be properly trained and insured to teach people who are pregnant. Same for the cosplay, and also gardening course, there probably wasn’t insurance or risk assessments done to bring a baby along and it would change it for the course.

PoppingTomorrow · 17/04/2024 10:21

A couple of places locally offered orfgnancy massages using a table with a hole in it for the bump - I still regret that I couldn't male the timing work as it would have been a welcome change to lie on my front for a bit!

PollySolo · 17/04/2024 10:22

None of those are unreasonable. The only thing I had to stop doing that surprised me ( I wasn’t excluded, I just couldn’t do it) was singing in later pregnancy — my baby seemed to be jammed up against my diaphragm, wrecking my breathing.

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/04/2024 10:24

PoppingTomorrow · 17/04/2024 10:21

A couple of places locally offered orfgnancy massages using a table with a hole in it for the bump - I still regret that I couldn't male the timing work as it would have been a welcome change to lie on my front for a bit!

If it helps I did one of those and it wasn’t good. Not all bumps are the same shape and mine wasn’t that big even near the end but it felt all sorts of weird stuffing it into an oval frame. I was really stiff and could have used a decent going over around the shoulders but they insisted on basically stroking me in an annoying way because I was pregnant and made of glass.

It was eye wateringly expensive and a big let down.

IAmGrey · 17/04/2024 10:24

The gardening one is understandable. I have three DC and wouldn't have been happy with a baby interrupting classes, and no one could persuade me they wouldn't.

PoppingTomorrow · 17/04/2024 10:30

@AnneLovesGilbert that would have been mega irritating!

SabreIsMyFave · 17/04/2024 10:31

SwordToFlamethrower · 17/04/2024 09:58

What were your barriers and exclusions? Did you think they were unreasonable?

I'll start.

My yoga class wouldn't accept me anymore

Wasn't allowed to do a gardening course (that was 60% coursework and the rest was doing cuttings and planting seeds)

Couldn't do pretend sword fighting with a foam sword (at a cosplay event) participants weren't hitting each other, they were hitting dummies.

Did anyone have any truly ridiculous exclusions that pissed them off?

I wasn't excluded from anything. Why on earth were you excluded/banned from these things? Confused

Edited to say... if you mean you had your baby with you, then it's understandable. These places are not suitable for babies/small children.

UndergroundBernie · 17/04/2024 10:38

The only thing I wasn’t allowed to do was an overnight shift on an underground test train, due to the sparsity of available lavatories, and the risk that I would be reliant on the first aider if I went into labour. (I was 8months pregnant at the time)

They did do a proper risk assessment, but we couldn’t manage out the risk that the train would stop in unpredictable locations for long periods of time.

TTPD · 17/04/2024 10:42

SwordToFlamethrower · 17/04/2024 09:59

(To add that the gardening course wouldn't let me bring my newborn baby in a pram)

Were you only stopped once the baby was born (perfectly reasonable) or were you also not allowed to garden while pregnant?

Sandwichblock · 17/04/2024 10:43

I can't think of anything. My yoga teacher suggested some adjustments and my running club told me to do what felt comfortable.

Work did a risk assessment, but nothing really changed.

Some people felt the need to police what I ate and drank, but they didn't have any actual authority to do that.

CelesteCunningham · 17/04/2024 10:43

I can't think of anything tbh.

I excluded myself from plenty of social stuff due to time constraints. And other things as they weren't suitable to bring a baby or small DC. But I never felt like I was excluded, just that life had changed - as it tends to do when you make a decision as big as having a baby.

I can't think of any restrictions I faced that DH didn't either, outside of the obvious drinking in pregnancy type stuff.

Sandwichblock · 17/04/2024 10:44

Oh yes, if you mean you couldn't take baby to yoga etc, that's perfectly reasonable.

Businessflake · 17/04/2024 10:58

I’ve never done yoga but the main issue with Pilates is you need adapt abs work as they separate and also a lot of work is done lying on your back which is also not recommended in pregnancy due to the pressure of the baby on major blood vessels.

There are many places that offer specific classes for pregnant women or they will adapt for you. I had to attend a private session at my Pilates place so they could run me through the adaptions I would need to make for difference exercises. I was then able to attend their standard classes.

The only things I can think of is certain types of massage (pregnancy massage is a thing), saunas and hot tubs (due to increased risks associated with higher temperatures) and Brazilian blow drys due to the chemicals used not being tested to determine safety (and my hair dresser also told me a lot of women’s hair texture changes so they can’t guarantee the result).

ImVanillaBaby · 17/04/2024 11:05

It's surely insurance issues

Blame them not the companies.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/04/2024 11:08

I think you are being a little disingenuous here, OP.

Saying you can't bring your baby along to something, or that you are temporaily unable to do a particular physical activitity whilst pregnant, is not the same as excluding you from it because you have become pregnant or had children.

PutOnYourRedShoesAndLetsDance · 17/04/2024 11:17

Well l rode my huge motorbike to work until l left at 8 months pregnant.
Can't remember if l wasn't allowed to do anything..
This was 40 years ago.

PollySolo · 17/04/2024 11:20

UndergroundBernie · 17/04/2024 10:38

The only thing I wasn’t allowed to do was an overnight shift on an underground test train, due to the sparsity of available lavatories, and the risk that I would be reliant on the first aider if I went into labour. (I was 8months pregnant at the time)

They did do a proper risk assessment, but we couldn’t manage out the risk that the train would stop in unpredictable locations for long periods of time.

Edited

Was this on the tube? ‘Underground test train’ sounds rather mysterious and interesting…