What were you doing when you were turning 30?…

Tuliptimes · 16/04/2024 18:39

Whatsmyusername1235 · 16/04/2024 18:28

later on this year I am turning 30 and I am dreading it.
what were you doing with your life around the time you turned 30? I am nowhere near where I want to be and I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of years. 30 also sounds so serious all of a sudden whilst being in your 20’s doesn’t seem too bad if you aren’t exactly where you want to be in life.

Even if you’re not happy with what you’ve achieved so far there’s nothing you can do about it now! Start making a plan for the future and set yourself some realistic goals for your 30s! I’m in my forties and even though I’ve reached the career goals I wanted I still set myself new goals each year. It’s never too late to take on new challenges and you’ll feel great when you look back on what you’ve achieved.

Original poster

Whatsmyusername1235 · 16/04/2024 18:44

Tuliptimes · 16/04/2024 18:39

Even if you’re not happy with what you’ve achieved so far there’s nothing you can do about it now! Start making a plan for the future and set yourself some realistic goals for your 30s! I’m in my forties and even though I’ve reached the career goals I wanted I still set myself new goals each year. It’s never too late to take on new challenges and you’ll feel great when you look back on what you’ve achieved.

Show quote history

Yes you are right! I still have time to sort my life out I guess. My best achievement by far is my two children and they take up a lot of my time as they are so young.
But I definitely need to set some goals and think about what I want to do with my life. Thank you

OP posts:

Cherryon · 16/04/2024 18:44

At 30 I had my second child. I was also dealing with being made redundant, no maternity pay/leave, and had been offered a job the other side of the country. My DH was in the middle of a Uni degree while being SAHD with the toddler.

So it was very stressful to have a newborn and toddler and have to completely upend every other part of our lives - sell house, move cross country, find new doctors for us all- while needing postnatal care for birth injuries and for the baby, my DH having to try to transfer to another Uni and not lose too much of his course credits,…it wasn’t a fun year.

It was a jump from the frying pan and run through the flames hoping to land on our feet year.

LBOCS2 · 16/04/2024 18:45

My mum had just died, very unexpectedly. I was dealing with probate, and grief, and a new job (which I hated) and a two year old.

And now I'm ten years on and in a job I enjoy, with a 12yo and an 8yo and a nice life.

Things can change very very quickly, or they can change slowly through considered action. Time will pass whether you choose to make changes or not, so you may as well be proactive about it, if you're not where you want to be right now, how can you move towards it? It's not a waste to spend time finding your feet as an adult but you can't have it both ways :)

Ponderingwindow · 16/04/2024 18:48

Getting divorced
thankfully with no children

was able to restart my personal life over again pretty quickly.

professional life managed to just keep on ticking

Starsandflowers · 16/04/2024 18:50

I was married and had a child.. but still renting and I was a SAHM for financial reasons rather than as a choice and I did not enjoy it. I did feel like my life was kind of stagnant at that point.. my DH was also commuting long distance and it was a bad time for our relationship. I also hated the rental we were living in, completely unsuitable for having a young child in. And I was so broke because it sucked up all our money in rent.
My hair looked really good that year and I had a great night out on my 30th birthday tho lmao so it wasn't all bad!!

Cherryon · 16/04/2024 18:52

Jimmy Fallon Oops GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

”being exactly where you want to be in life” is unattainable all the time at all ages. We may get short bursts of being where we want to be, if we are lucky, but I think most people usually have the feeling they aren’t quite where they want to be.

PermanentlyTired03 · 16/04/2024 18:59

I was engaged and moved into our first home on my 30th bday. There was a heatwave and I was knackered so we sat on the floor (furniture order was delayed) eating pizza and beer. I still had a pretty meh job.
30 is still super young. You’ve got time to do other things! I’m now touching 40 and still don’t know what I want from life!

louderthan · 16/04/2024 19:04

I had a job I hated, was overweight, was faffing around with an absolute twat of a man. I came to my senses when I was 31 and sorted all those things out.
30 is no age OP, I'm 43 now and by no means sorted but it's much better. Have faith x

mogernator · 16/04/2024 19:09

I was single, living in London in a house share, not particularly happy but not particularly miserable. Bumbling along. Worried about being single. Worried about not owning a property. Decent job but starting to get stale and wanting a change. 30 is young!! Things can change so quickly.

mizu · 16/04/2024 19:16

I remember exactly where I was!

I had just moved to Oman on a 2 year contract as a teacher and had just moved into a new apartment. It only had a bed and two chairs until I was able to buy other furniture.

I remember buying a little TV and watching Friends. The TV on one chair, me on the other

Long time ago now!

IlesFlottante · 16/04/2024 19:26

I was stagnating so I did something I'd always wanted to do, took 6 months out and went travelling. Lots of naysayers in my life told me I'd struggle to get back on the career ladder but actually it was easy enough and I'm so glad I did it.

greengreyblue · 16/04/2024 19:26

I had a 6 month old baby. She’s now 23.
You have two chn op, you’ve achieved a lot!

Neveragain35 · 16/04/2024 19:34

At 30 I was in a pretty unhappy marriage, living in a rented house, pregnant with my second child, SAHM having stopped working when DC1 was born. By the time I was 40 I was divorced, in a great job having retrained as a single mum, owned my own house and was engaged to a wonderful man (who I’m now married to!)

Basically, other than my 2 wonderful DC, all the really good stuff in my life happened after I turned 30!

catin8oots · 16/04/2024 19:37

I gave birth on my 30th birthday. I would have preferred Paris

wherestheromance · 16/04/2024 19:40

I had been married for 2 years and had been ttc for 18 months, with a missed miscarriage half way through. I spent my 30th birthday feeling very, very low and in tears throughout the day because I was so desperate for a baby and the baby I'd lost had been due the month before. I Little did I know, my little rainbow baby (now almost 4 year old) was conceived days before.

SittingBackAndWatchingTheClowns · 16/04/2024 19:42

My children were 8 and 5, about to move house. Husband and I were busy trying to scrimp and pay the mortgage and bills every month. 30 was a nice age - I was slim, fit and had both parents.

awitchoftroubleinelectricblue · 16/04/2024 19:42

Went to York with my boyfriend at the time, in a brand new mini he'd borrowed because he knew I'd always wanted one, and kissed at the top of the Minster.

A year later, we'd had our first child, 2nd came just over a year after that, and we married.

14 years later we're together and still very happy but skint as fuck because of circumstances.

Inyourwildestdreams · 16/04/2024 19:43

@Whatsmyusername1235 Where would you like to be? I think everyone feels like that at some point in life!

Turning 30 I was 6m pregnant with my first child, furloughed from work, isolating alone in mine and DHs ‘dream’ house as I had health issues that made me vulnerable to covid. No family would “bubble” with me as they were worried about passing stuff to me incase it affected the baby and DH was stuck abroad as an essential worker for months on end.
I spent months on my own walking round our town for hours on end and staring at the walls of our house. I sold our ‘dream’ house the following year as it held too many bad memories for me after all the isolation.
It’s the year my mental health took a major hit but also the year I became a mum and found the whole reason for being.

calligraphee · 16/04/2024 19:44

I think this I am nowhere near where I want to be is a fairly unhelpful way to look at life.

What have you achieved and what do you want to do next? You are going to be 30, whether you like it or not. What specifically can you not do at 31 that you could have done at 29?

Hellocatshome · 16/04/2024 19:45

Working in a job I hated. I was married with a 7 and 5 year old and generally just trying to make enough money to pay bills whilst still being there for the kids. In hindsight I was spreading myself far too thin. I started an apprenticeship at 39 and now in a far better and rewarding job and obviously the kids being older helped. You dont have to have your shit together by 30.

whatthejuice · 16/04/2024 19:46

I was married and relatively happy in my career.
We moved out of London that year, ready for hopefully falling pregnant the following year.
I was very lucky and that happened, followed by our second baby a few years later.

merryandbrightdelight · 16/04/2024 19:47

It was lockdown and I was one of the first lot of people told to stay at home because I was pregnant. I spent a lot of that year teaching my students remotely and nothing much else really - I did manage to escape on my actual 30th though! All the way to hospital for an ELCS with DD2 - we now share a birthday!

Smellz714 · 16/04/2024 19:49

I'd broken up with an abusive ex, went on the bender to end all benders, went straight to work from my mate's house without any shoes on. It was a painful start to what has been the best decade of my life, you never know what's round the corner!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 16/04/2024 19:54

In a shit marriage that I left 2 years later.
Spent 30th in Chester with dm.We went to the zoo,had a curry and stayed over in a premier inn.