Can't shake off the feeling I made wrong decision about house.

[Hoousie]

Blended family with 4 kids (2 each) from a young age.

He moved in with me as I had a housing association property.

Various shitty things happen over the years and he ends up unable to work and I'm his carer.

Kids are now all teens/approaching teen hood and we are over crowded (1girl in 1 room and 3 boys sharing a single room with 3 bunk beds in and it's not a big room either!)
2 kids with SEN.

We go on exchange list and we successfully exchange with a 5 bed house. All kids now have own rooms.

It's housing association so a fifth of private rent cost.
I have a secure tenancy for life that carries on from my previous property.

But I can't let go of the fact I had the right to buy my old house with maximum discount, 70% which I lost in the exchange.

But neither of us are able to work right now so who's to say we could ever get a mortgage? And if we did it would take years to sort out.

The house would still be ridiculously too small.

But then I thought if I had a 70% discount I could have maybe done a double extension.

But again that's just a thought and no guarantees it would have been approved or that we would have had the money.

And in the meantime even if everything went to plan, an approved mortgage, an approved extension. It would take years and years.

All with 3 teen boys in 1 room.

I just feel like not many people get an opportunity to buy a house at 70% discount and I just threw it away.

But I'm in a secure tenancy housing association house. All my kids have a bedroom each. Rent is cheap.

And the alternative was just a row of ifs, buts and maybes.

I keep getting a crushing feeling in my chest when I think I could have owned a home and passed something down to my kids. But I don't know if I would even get a mortgage.

And it's too late now. It's done. So I need to let it go.

I’d give my right arm to have a secure tenancy for life. I own my own home but I will have a very modest pension when I retire, so won’t be able to afford any repairs or maintenance. It literally terrifies me.

They all have their own rooms now.

Also my credit is awful. I can't even get a mobile phone.

But the home you have now is best for the DC.

They needed a room each now not in a decade time.

This is what I was thinking too. Ownership is risky especially when you have illness.

I absolutely think you made the right decision. You needed the space, and it sounds like you have a good situation in the new house.

Certainly there are trade-offs to every decision, but I don’t see how you could really have justified hanging on to the old place. Why do you think it is bothering you so much?

I agree that's why I did it.

But just the idea of what I gave up haunts me because most people would jump at the chance but I suppose they would have better circumstances to pay the mortgage

Sorry why are they suffering? We have a lovely 5 bed home?

You definitely made the right decision. The niggling thoughts you're having will pass.

If the previous tenants of your new home had bought it at 70% discount then it wouldn't have been available for you to live in and have secure rent for life.

If it was JUST the mortgage on the house then yes, maybe.

But we would have needed an extension. And we wouldn't have been able to afford that. No.

I'm just beating myself up that I could have given them a proper inheritance.

But in the process we might have lost our home altogether of we couldn't keep up payments.

I think you made the right decision - being out of work and a poor credit rating makes it unlikely you'd get a mortgage anyway and you are incredibly lucky to have a 5 bed HA property with a secure tenancy.
I work for a HA and the biggest properties we do are 4 bed and there's not many of them!
Enjoy your new home.

No.

I think that's why I needed to talk it through.

To see that I'm being unrealistic and made the right choice.

Thankyou.

But there may not have been an inheritance, split 4 ways if anything was left after your care needs were paid for in your old age?

Correct me if im wrong.

You rented a small home which was totally unsuitable for your family.
You had a 70% discount option if you ever got yourself into the position to purchase. But it is 99% certain you never would be in that position as you have bad credit even whilst in supported living situation and dont work.

You have been given a much bigger property to rent on a secure tenancy which suits your family and is still a low cost solution but without the purchase discount.

From what i read you have done the correct thing. Talk of extensions and purchase discounts dont really come into it. You needed a bigger house.

You're right.

Thankyou.