Can't shake off the feeling I made wrong decision about house.

[Hoousie]

Blended family with 4 kids (2 each) from a young age.

He moved in with me as I had a housing association property.

Various shitty things happen over the years and he ends up unable to work and I'm his carer.

Kids are now all teens/approaching teen hood and we are over crowded (1girl in 1 room and 3 boys sharing a single room with 3 bunk beds in and it's not a big room either!)
2 kids with SEN.

We go on exchange list and we successfully exchange with a 5 bed house. All kids now have own rooms.

It's housing association so a fifth of private rent cost.
I have a secure tenancy for life that carries on from my previous property.

But I can't let go of the fact I had the right to buy my old house with maximum discount, 70% which I lost in the exchange.

But neither of us are able to work right now so who's to say we could ever get a mortgage? And if we did it would take years to sort out.

The house would still be ridiculously too small.

But then I thought if I had a 70% discount I could have maybe done a double extension.

But again that's just a thought and no guarantees it would have been approved or that we would have had the money.

And in the meantime even if everything went to plan, an approved mortgage, an approved extension. It would take years and years.

All with 3 teen boys in 1 room.

I just feel like not many people get an opportunity to buy a house at 70% discount and I just threw it away.

But I'm in a secure tenancy housing association house. All my kids have a bedroom each. Rent is cheap.

And the alternative was just a row of ifs, buts and maybes.

I keep getting a crushing feeling in my chest when I think I could have owned a home and passed something down to my kids. But I don't know if I would even get a mortgage.

And it's too late now. It's done. So I need to let it go.

How much would the house have cost you to buy?
How old are you?

Yep! My mum is in her 80s. Her boiler doesn’t work, her kitchen is dilapidated, the carpets are threadbare and the garden is a jungle, but on a state pension, she can’t afford to sort any of it.

You have a guaranteed home for life.

We're probably going to be stuck private renting indefinitely as we just can't seem to save enough to buy. The old we get, the harder it will be to get a long enough mortgage. No chance will we ever get a council house.

Be thankful for what you have rather than dwelling on what you don't. You & your kids all have a secure roof over your heads.

You're so right.

And believe me, I am so, so grateful. I say it all the time.

I really hope I don't come across as flippant about how blessed we are to have this house. I guess I wa looking at it through rose tinted glasses and it just wouldn't have been doable for us.

I think you made the right decision, you didn’t manage to buy the first house so now why think you should have stayed there and bought it.
I think you’ve done the right thing for so the DC.

Even if there was the slim possibility you could have bought and extended the house, there may.not have been an inheritance to leave OP. My DM owned her own home but now has dementia and is in residential care. It's very expensive - there won't be anything left for me and my siblings.

I didn't even consider this.

I'm sorry to hear of your mum. My nan had dementia and ended up in residential care too. It's very difficult.

Absolutely the right thing to do for your family. A secure future ahead. You’re not in a position to mortgage or build.

A fourth of what might have been left on the off chance you could possibly have bought the house is nothing compared to a childhood with adequate space and happier parents.

Thankyou so much for putting it into perspective.

Your home should always be for living in, not leaving to your children.

This house sounds like you can actually live in it and enjoy it, which will be amazing for all of you and of much more value than a maybe inheritance. There's so much emphasis on home ownership, but I think what you have sounds like it will bring way more value/pleasure and comfort to your life.

I hope you can start to enjoy it, it sounds like you've earned it!

I don't really understand why you are upset about this. You absolutely did the only thing you could do.

It doesn't really matter if you had a 70% discount if you couldn't have afforded a mortgage/buying the house. Even if the house was £5k, it may as well be £5mill if you didn't have the funds. You say your credit rating is so bad that you can't get a mobile phone. I'd steer clear of home ownership. You have a fabulous set up, with great security which you need, given your circumstances. I'd be happy.

Something like over 90 percent of people don’t need care. What you on about.

Op, if you’ve bad credit and your partner doesn’t work the odds of you getting a mortgage are slim to non existent, so it is unlikely you’d ever be able to buy. Enjoy your new home,

old thread!!!

This....

You did the correct thing . Staying in the home would have been miserable .
Enjoy your new home and just be grateful .
Others would love to be in your position

Just realised it was an old thread

Without the discount your home wouldn't have been an attractive trade for a 5 bed house. You didn't give it up, you took full advantage of it to leverage the house you need and because it's affordable it's more secure than owning one you'd need to pay to extend. You did the right thing

I know this is an old thread but I am staggered by the fact someone with credit so poor that they couldn't get a mobile phone thought a mortgage would be a viable option.
For credit to be so bad you have to miss a lot of payments. Missed mortgage payments = homelessness. They don't just hand out mortgages like sweets to anyone that wants one for this reason, you have to prove as much as reasonably possible that you have the means to pay it back.