Do some people have more hours in their day than others?

[Krakken]

How do some people manage to do all their housework, go out with family, meet a friend for a drink and have a nice family dinner ready all on one day while I potter around, do a bit of shopping, start cooking a meal and it's already nearly 6?

Not stopping is why I'm like this. Most days I'll have cleaned the kitchen, prepped dinner, got a washing on the line, walked ds to school and come home via shops which is 40 mins, and done half an hour of work in my side gig before I sign into work at 9am. I multitask and if I find myself with a spare 10 minutes I'll find a job, whether that's ironing, cutting the grass, making a batch of scones or whatever.

I'm very productive and my house is in great shape but it's not at all relaxing. I'd love to be able to slow down and potter. I think I chase a state of perfection where there is nothing left to be done, but I don't know what I'd do with myself if I got there. I need to be busy.

DS16 has asd so everything is done on routine..
especially regarding anything to do with him, everything else I just do inbetween. I work 5 days a week, try to plan out roughly when I’m doing stuff, at least it’s organised chaos then 😂

Nothing wrong with pottering- you probably get better sleep and are less stressed/ tired/ cranky than most of the population!!!

Do none of you busy people ever hit a physical wall? I err towards being busy and productive, and when I am healthy I am one of these gym before work, multi tasking busy people. But I find I can only keep it going for so long then I crash and have to go slowly again. So frustrating

One of my mates has ADHD and cannot sit still for a nanosecond. It’s turned her into Wonderwoman. The speed at which she can redecorate an entire room right down to cushions and candles is astonishing (to me, who spends too much time and a small fortune buying tester pots).

Almost 60 here
work four jobs (48 hours pw)
two teenagers living at home
five bed house to keep clean
cooking, ironing etc
cycle/walk every day for at least an hour

I thrive on being busy. But there are days when I don't get much done and I don't feel as good about myself on those days. And my house is often a mess because housework tends to take lower priority than any form of going out (I'm very sociable and often meet friends several times a week) or gardening or exercising or crafting or taxiing the teen DCs around. I rarely watch TV. I have two jobs and am a school governor. I don't think I'm ND but my DCs are and I suspect DH is so I do quite a lot of supporting them as well. We are all able bodied and well though which makes a big difference. I sometimes hit a wall of tiredness but half an hour on the sofa is usually enough to re-boot myself.

I get a bit tired of competitive ‘busyness’ or the types who claim they ‘literally can’t sit down till the house is tidy’. I think my ‘extra hours’ are solely down to having one child by choice, and not ever really having formed a tv habit.

I've realised I have the opposite of 'waiting mode' if I have an appointment or meet up, I can be super productive and get a whole load of things done beforehand. If I have no deadline, I just potter and take things easy.
So weird.

I'm not competitive about any of it but I can't relax if I know things still need to be done in regards to regular housework like washing up or if I know the floor is sticky or similar. As the problem is not going to go away and I'll have to do it later. I'm a single parent so there's only one or the other of us to do it, no magic elves will.

I’m ridiculously driven by sun light. On a bright sunny morning I’m one of these people who leaps out of bed, showered and dressed, house tidy, dinner made, washing done and on the line and dog walked by 8am.
When it’s dull, I’m like a sloth and trying to talk myself into the shower at 11am.

it really annoys me about myself!

i am the same, i get more done given less time,

I feel like the less I have to do the harder it is!
I seem to power through super busy days (most days to be honest!) but if I finally get a day with not much going on it feels like I am wading through treacle.
For example on a working day I am up at 4.45am, showered, make up done an house cleaned by 7am. Then to work for 8am, come home around 5pm, do home cooked evening meal around 6.30/7pm (can be much later depending on what the kids have on) finish up chores/life admin etc before I settle down for the evening.
I didn't have to rush yesterday and it was like I couldn't move! I only made it into the shower at 11am because I had to go food shopping and it felt like such an effort, I definitely power down if I don't have plenty to keep me busy.

I would say this is probably a mixture of planning fallacy and energy levels.
Your pottering probably involves a lot of tasks that you are forgetting about. The person you are comparing yourself too may not have done a lot of little tasks on the way. Eg their car may already be tidy so they don't need to clear it out before setting off. Or they are good at delegating, so their children have fed the pets, got themselves dressed etc with no nagging. Maybe their family is all self motivated so they have to do less family admin and get fewer interruptions?
And maybe they were less tired from the week so needed less downtime? Or even just have more energy.
Or maybe it was just a highly productive day for them?
Or you are just focussing on the things you didn't get done?

I feel I personally had quite a productive yesterday. But I feel like that because I'm focusing on how much more I got done than usual, being kind to myself and not focusing on the one important task I didn't get done.

I'm always up by 7 at the very latest.

DD, DH and I are all ready and down stairs by 8, including the beds being made, bathroom cleaned and washing on.

Then it's breakfast, I then clean up after breakfast and hoover/mop and get lunches ready, then we're out walking to dog by 9am, this takes an hour.

Then we're off doing a family activity/meeting family/toddler group etc

Dd has a nap at 12 (she's 18mo) when she's away we stop off for lunch somewhere.

Then we usually go to the shops if we need anything, head to see a friend or something like the park.

Home by 4, I then cook a fresh homemade meal.

DD eat dinner at 5, then she helps me do the dishes, fold the washing and put her toys away.

Bath at 6, bed at 7. Then I shower and finally sit down around 7:30. It's absolutely non stop all day long.

But I luckily work 2 days a week (24 hour shifts) so I have 5 days of the week to keep on top of things, but it is only really achievable by waking early and not having any sit down breaks 😂

Also do 3 hours of admin work in the evening 3 days a week.

There are so many variables.

Do you have a partner? Do they add to the stress or are they shit hot? Do you spilt tasks to play to your strengths?

Do you do a physical or mentally draining job? Or do you work part time? Do you have a hellish commute?

Do you have children? Are they nt? Do they do a tonne of sports/extras? Are they at a critical time in education?

Do you live with clutter? Do you have elderly parents? Other family commitments? Are you decorating/renovating? Do you have a hug garden that takes hours of work? A hobby?

Then it's priorities. What's a decent home cooked meal to you? Do you rest? Do you make time for you? Craft/read/party? What does busy mean to you? Do you enjoy all those tasks? Or are they a massive slog? Etc. Etc.

They're just more efficient than you at planning their day. If you're 'pottering' you're not going to get a lot done.

Having a routine for everyday stuff and a solid plan for things like home renovations, gardening projects and other one-offs.

Setting deadlines for getting stuff done by, for instance, inviting visitors so there is an incentive to get the house cleaned/tidied, or arranging workmen so the preparatory work/clearing stuff out has to happen before they turn up.

Aiming for minimalism and practical organization so everything flows and takes less time, as well as decluttering regularly...... and not buying new/more stuff unless actually needed.

I think "pottering" can be a really good thing. We don't have to live all life as if there is a life critical deadline coming. Prioritisation and well being are also important.
But then I see a difference between pottering and procrastinating.

Stay offline. You would be amazed how much time a wee scroll here and a wee scroll there takes.

Support and planning gives you more hours.

My sister in law never takes her children to school, her mum does. So she waves them off and has that hour extra.

she has dinner at her mums 4x a week.
No cooking time. Saves an hour.
No cleaning or mess at her house. Saves 30 mins.

My kids clean their own rooms.
So I get that hour extra

Online shopping
No drive there or back, no queue, you pick a time that suits, it’s down. Saves an hour.

Service wash at the laundrette.
Costs money but all that time saved!

You have two extremes in your example.

I can get a lot more done in a day than a bit of shopping and basic chores and then dinner.

But to clean the entire house, have a day out with family, meet someone for a drink and then still make dinner is probably too much.

A pretty standard weekend day for me would involve a bit of a lie in and a slower start. DC to activities and/or to do something. A dog walk. Some light housework - daily chores like dishashwer, kitchen tidying, robovac on, a load of laundry etc. Dog walk. Make dinner or meet up with a friend. And some chill time. That feels like a nice balance to me.

The less time you have on your hands, the more efficient you are about using it IME. I don't have time for "pottering", there's too much to do. So that means things like stripping off when I get in from running and putting a wash on while I'm in the shower, then that's less time wait for it to finish so i can hang it up before I go out to my next event. Or if I've got something in the oven that takes a while to cook I'll stick something else in on the other shelf so that's another couple of meals that just need reheating later in the week.

There are so many variables though, that make one person’s life different to another’s.

For example, two people can work full time. One person could have a commute and be required in the workplace every day, another could work from home. The difference between being able to prep food, do laundry, catch up on admin etc is enormous.

Two people could be married. One person could have a partner who really pitches in with chores, DIY etc, another person’s partner might be unwell, or otherwise committed.

Ditto family/friends support, lift shares for DC activities or whether they can get there and back themselves, how independent DC are and what support they need for whatever reasons, whether the family will eat the same meal or not and how easy that is to prep etc.