CF allotment thief part 2: the Battle of Barbara and the Beansprouts

[YaMuvva]

Hi all, sorry I didn’t get a chance to post the link to this in the last thread, but it filled up too quickly.

So, another update

DH and I sat and had a looooong talk last night. We poured over every option, the pro’s and cons and the best and worst case scenarios. We thought of every possible situation that could arise from each option and we made a decision this morning.

it was actually the best/worst case scenario talk that clinched it.
Best case scenario for selling it to her was we get a little bit of money. Worst case is we have no allotment and the house possibly devalues.

Best case scenario for if we shared the land is that she is a pleasant plot neighbour and isn’t bitter that we are on the land that used to be ‘hers’ and doesn’t try to boss us about. But worst case scenario is that she remains bitter and makes our lives hell, interferes and our allotment space becomes an unbearable place to be.

Best case scenario for if we keep it to ourselves is we have the enjoyment of a long awaited allotment, one that makes a massive difference to DH’s MH and our general life enjoyment. Worst case scenario is that we make a neighbour - who is smart enough to find another plot or use her own generous garden - cross.

We figured that the worst case scenarios for all 3 weren’t worth risking the absolute best case scenario could bring.

So we are kicking her off.

We discussed letting her wait some months before making her leave or until the end of the growing season around about the end of September. But that when you consider the weather, that would mean we wouldn’t truly be able to enjoy the allotment in good weather for a whole year. I know it can still be enjoyed in horrible weather but the thought of missing out on a whole entire summer of gardening, relaxing and recuperating just feels too long. She has also indicated she will fight us - well she can try and she won’t win so I’d rather the ‘fight’ was a short one not a long one

We went to the plot this morning (no Babs in sight!) and took a soil test, took pictures, used that app to mark the plots (thanks to PP for the tips), and measured it and took pictures of the measurements/readings. From what we can tell she has root veg, fruit and a little herb garden patch, all growing fairly well considering the time of year. We didn’t disturb anything

Going to call the home insurers today to see if we can get legal cover and reclaim costs from the previous owner so solicitors can write her a letter - if not we will just instruct our current solicitors and make the reclaim too. I know we could do a letter ourselves but I really think a legal middle man would be worth the money. We will take solicitors advice on how much notice to give her - but it won’t be long notice. No point, may as well rip the plaster off now. We won’t be offering to buy the shed as I don’t want to be beholden to Barbara or have her make out to others that we stole the shed. We want a clean slate, to pick our own items.

I do feel bad that Barbara will be losing something that is so dear to her and that her ‘sanctuary’ will be taken away but the bottom line is it does not belong to her and she has known this for 10 years. She could have spent that 10 years, or even just the nine months since the house went on the market, to find another sanctuary. We are being selfish, we have been through unimaginable struggles and it’s time to just live for ourselves not a random neighbour. If that makes us a pariah in the community I can take it.

DH also messaged our police officer friend of ours this morning who said if the time comes to bin her stuff and dismantle the shed to call 101 and tell them “We are doing this, it’s our property and we will handle everything with care and bring it to her home” and then if she calls them saying we are stealing or damaging our property then we are one step ahead at least.

Why are people just making up ridiculous back stories about Barbara?

She's "elderly" and all alone (she's in her 60s FFS- pretty offensive)
She has mental health problems (WTAF?)
She has had a difficult time in her personal life (oh you know her life history do you?)
She possibly has dementia (this one gets trotted out every time anyone over 50 is difficult, as if everyone over 50 is a saint unless they have cognitive decline)
Barbara can teach you how to use the allotment and look after your kids if you befriend her (Seriously?- the OP's DH already knows how to use an allotment and maybe Babs doesnt want to babysit, nor does the OP want a stranger looking after her children)

If we're just randomly making shit up then fine- Babs is actually running a cannabis farm from the allotment and she stabbed her husband to death and he is buried under the carrot patch.
Therefore Babs should be arrested and jailed immediately.

Where's the harm? If it's genuine the OP has had some light relief during a stressful time. If it's goady it's provided some harmless entertainment to people on the internet.

I know. It's all harmless. It's not like she's claiming an illness, claiming poverty and begging or some fictional teacher/school story.

Or the 'I gave my friend two bin bags of really expensive baby clothes years ago and I've just now asked for them back and she says she doesn't have them anymore.'

Those are so irritating.

I'm no lawyer but I can't t see any way that this could run for a year. It's absolutely cut and dried and there's nothing for any lawyer that Barbara takes on to run with. It's someone else's property, it's clearly marked so on their title deeds, and there's no law, no loophole that Barbara can call on.

I've been dealing with a similarly batshit person over a similarly clear cut and simple piece of property law. The legal people I consulted were bemused that my 'Barbara' was even trying it on. After a week of being told by several lawyers that she didn't have a leg to stand on, she gave up.

No harm at all,the 'load of old toot' I was referring to was the idea that the OP and her husband should allow Barbara to dick around on their land for the remainder of the growing season.

Some more film titles..

Hell's Orchard

Poison Harvest

Shed No Tears..

@realityhack they'd get huge carrots if they had a dead body under them! Potassium I think.

I'd give the lady fourteen days and get the patch rotovated. Then I put my summer veg in but be prepared for it to be swiped. Lots get pinched on lotties.

I imagine one phone call with a solicitor will put paid to her notions of fighting it. She hasn't got a legal leg to stand on. All she can argue is that if they tear up her plants and take down her shed they're committing criminal damage, but OP's already said they've got police advice about how to navigate that inside the law.

The Plot, surely. Ticks all boxes.

they'd get huge carrots if they had a dead body under them! Potassium I think

Thanks for the tip! 😂😂😂

OP should get her land back, but she should also recognise that after 10 years of cultivation it will be in a much, much better condition than if it had been allowed to run wild. If Barbara hadn't been there, OP wouldn't have been able to enjoy gardening this season, she would have been faced with months of heavy work clearing brambles, weeds, and whatever else had taken hold. And then with limitations on what she could grow in newly cleared ground.

If Barbara is allowed to stay for the rest of the season, OP will have lost nothing and will still be ahead of the game for next season as the plot will be well cultivated and ready to go. If she feel she'd be missing out on some relaxing gardening time then perhaps she could suggest joint use for the rest of the season.

Probably wouldn't make such good TV though...

Ooh ooh! Can I play Courgette? It's my nickname at work after someone thought they heard me introducing myself on the phone as "Courgette".

Also I work for a lawyer 😉

That’s not necessary. You didn’t need to call PP a bitch either. We’ve all got shit going on. Sorry about your Mum’s husband but it’s got nothing to do with the thread or any of the responses here.

With the plot twist that the reason Babs is so reluctant to give up the land is because she's hiding the bodies of husbands 1 and 2 beneath her artichokes.

OP and DH, and Babs, lying in wait for each other.
Can I do costumes and locations? 😂

I do love the idea of a goat. Or goats. Maybe OP could hire a couple for a day, just to clear any unwanted growth off the land. They'd need watching, if they got loose that would antagonise other veg plot owners, but just letting them de-Barbara the place would be pure joy.

It would be in good condition if the original owner had used it too. But no-one would think it right for the vendor not to vacate it on the sale of the house.

Also it doesn't matter whether it's in good condition or not. My daughters allotment had never been tended. It was a newly acquired bit if land next to the original allotments. It was just a piece of scrubby grass. She took it on at Easter and still had it lush and productive by summer, thanks to 'no dig '. I'm sure that OP 's DH would be fine with whatever condition it was in.

Question: do you not think your in laws should have opened a discussion with the neighbours about the land?

Let's just hope she doesn't salt the earth when finally forced out.

I don't know what its like now, but kings road waitrose and kensington m and s used to be chokka with slebs and occasional minor royals. No one ever took much notice.

Legally or rather practically I’m not sure this is as easy as you are making out. Depends how much she resists but I’m pretty certain these things can drag on and on with £ huge legal fees.

That was the point of the soil test the OP did.

Then it's criminal damage I would have thought

But that was a dispute about ownership. Nobody is disputing ownership here (well, not realistically anyway - perhaps just in Babs fevered imagination).

At the moment Babs isn't actually trespassing as she hasn't been told to leave yet. As I understand it, the OP will be getting a solicitor to write one letter to Babs informing her that she must stop going onto their property and also to remove her belongings. They are doing this to be less confrontational than going up to Babs face to face and telling her to "get orrf my land".

Once Babs has been told to leave then, if she does not or if she returns to the land then she is a trespasser and the OP can use reasonable force to remove her.

Likewise with the shed, the solicitor will likely give Babs something like four weeks to remove the shed and warn her that if she doesn't do so then the OP will remove it herself.

That's one letter. Doing it this way is a lot less confrontational than doing it in person.

If Babs then wants to waste a whole load of her money instructing solicitors to regain any rights that she believes she has to occupy the land then that's down to her and her bank balance.

Unless something really obscure and unusual pops up out of the woodwork then the best thing for the OP to do will be just to reply to Babs solicitors herself not accepting any claims that they might put forward. This then costs Babs even more money as they will charge her for dealing with the correspondence received from the OP.

I think Babs, if she did go through with anything like this, will likely find herself quite out of pocket.