Any adult dyspraxic women?

[Dyspraxiaexploring]

I’ve recently been formally diagnosed… anyone else out there? How does it impact you? What strengths do you have?

Yes I totally agree about having to be patient with yourself, and there is no point in getting upset and frustrated. And yes, noise can be such a terrible distraction - I have had to ask for the radio to be turned off in a bookshop before now, so I could read the book titles. I can't read if there is any noise at all - some of this may be dyslexia though, I have both, and don't really know where the dividing line is

@Elderflower14 Yes, I know exactly what you mean about stripes. The tube escalators are awful, especially if there is no one in front of you and the lines go all fuzzy 🤢

We're heroic for giving it a go and deserve medals all round.

Is anyone else face blind? I regularly don't even recognise my own children, luckily they don't take offense - but I couldn't tell my own brothers apart for 10 years until one went bald. I'm ok now, but if the other one ever goes bald I will be back to square one.

Wow, I've thought for some time now that I might have dyspraxia, but reading this thread makes me even more convinced.
My DS aged 7 now, was diagnosed 2 years ago. When we were going through the checklists before diagnosis & his assessment results, I just kept saying "sure that's normal, I do that". Then the penny dropped that maybe I have it too.
I never crawled (only bum shuffled), and didn't walk til 2 (same as my son)
I hated sports, pe, dance classes, exercise classes etc always as so uncoordinated.
It took me years to learn to drive.
I have tried to learn to swim many times over the years & couldn't get past a certain point.
I struggle so bad with parking & never even attempt Parallel parking.
My handwriting was always shocking.
I drop things daily (mainly cutlery, glasses etc).
My hands get so tired & sore if writing for any length of time.
Any project I've ever undertaken (big or small) I need to create an excel document & red, amber green it as I get through the steps.
Escalators are a huge issue for me & I can manage going up now but still really struggle coming down.
I bump into things or catch my clothes on handles etc daily.
I was always embarrassed out dancing in clubs as my dance moves are diabolical 🙈.
I struggle with house work.
I struggle with social anxiety.
My symptoms have gotten worse in later years for sure, particularly bad the last few years (I'm in my 40's now).
I always walk into the person I'm walking next too.
I can't run.
I can cycle but badly.
I'm terrible at doing makeup.

I wonder how I can go about getting assessed as an adult & if there is any merit on doing so at this stage of my life.

You dont need an assessment really, you just need to understand yourself and be patient with yourself

There is even a poster or here who admits she bumps into things when walking but doesn't see the relevance to driving!

I don’t know if that was aimed at me , but I’m sure just looking at this thread alone there are plenty of dyspraxic people who bump into things when walking but manage to be good and safe drivers.

It’s likely they may have had to work a bit harder and longer to pass the test, but as many posters on here have said that doesn’t mean they aren’t now safe, competent drivers.

I can also list the many things involving co-ordination that I have mastered (playing instruments, playing ball games etc) and look at that as a reason why I might be able to pass the driving test.

Why would I adopt a defeatist attitude and just focus on the fact I bump into things sometimes and conclude that means I can’t drive ? Nonsense. If I pass the test I’ll be no doubt more competent and far more careful than a lot of non-dyspraxics on the road.

@evertheblue , end of the day, it really doesn't matter what you think about us driving. The government have set a test and we have passed it. Which means we are safe to drive on the roads. Some of us do find we prefer not to drive in certain conditions or make certain maneuvers, but those behaviours are not limited to dyspraxics, I know of many people who refuse to drive on motorways, my neighbour refuses to use a certain roundabout near here and I know a driver that struggles pulling out to the right at a junction.

@KitchenDancefloor Out of sight, out of mind - EVERYTHING. I too have to repeat lists constantly ( never know what condition this stuff is linked to, but its me to a tee ) and back in work today, not been in for a week, and had to go and get new name badges for two I have worked weeks with and two newbies as not a mission I could mind their names

And tell me, how does anyone learn how to blow dry their hair looking in a mirror? Thats witchcraft for sure :)

I bump into people too. I'm always getting aggro from strangers about it, but there is nothing I can do to prevent it

I don't have a formal diagnosis, I am in my 50s and I doubt many would have heard of it and few believed in it if they had been told about it when I was a kid. So school was not fun. I have poor fine motor control and my handwriting is awful. I had to spend lunchtime having handwriting lessons with the fiive year olds until I was 11
as my third rate prep
School was obsessed with italic writing which was impossible for me. Sports at prep and grammar were hellish and to make it worse my asshole parents insisted I attend a bloody tennis club and coaching for posh kids for years. One one memorable evening I was told I would be asked to leave the club as
I was so poor at it. So my parents made me have golf lessons....

It was handwriting that led to me being informally diagnosed. At uni in my 40s my exam scripts were so unreadable that one marker suggested I saw the student disability service who went through some detailed forms and tests with me and concluded I almost certainly was and allowed me to do exams on computer with extra time as I can only type with two fingers. I use speech to text software now.

I never crawled, walked late, could not sit cross legged as a child (I am very inflexible), cannot make the th sound with my tongue (so three sounds like free), cannot roll my r's, have a terrible sense of direction and can't seem to hold route awareness (if I go to a new building that requires directions I'll get lost, eventually find the right room then come out and have no idea how to retrace my route to the exit). I cannot draw at all - stick people is my limit - and I cannot sing or dance. I can clap back rhythms well but cannot sing the tune and clap the rhythm at the same time. I find it hard to focus or find things with mess around me so am very much a place for everything and everything in its place person. Yoga is very hard as if I'm focussing on one part of my body I can't seem to move the rest of it in unison. Yet I can drive, although it's best if I don't think about what my feet are doing, and I'm reasonable with car widths and judging speed and distance. I can do that in sports, in that I know where the ball will get to, I can't make the complex movements to get my foot, racquet or whatever to meet it in a useful way. I think that's why driving is OK, the movement my body has to do is just turning a wheel and pushing feet up and down.

Satnav is my friend.

I had similar parents, but I am actually very grateful to them. They insisted on years of dance lessons. I never learnt to dance, but my balance and coordination would be even worse without those years I think

I'm 54 and I still have trouble with left and right. I have to discreetly make an L shape with my left t

This might be of interest to some of you - I have had a physio for a while, dues to operations and things, but he has spoken to me about my dyspraxia too, and suggested balance exercises to prevent further deterioration of balance as I grow older.

The one I do every day is standing on one leg with my standing knee bent. I do it while washing up, at the bus stop, waiting in queues, anywhere I find myself standing still for a few minutes. I can't stand on one leg very long, and bending the standing knee makes it harder, but I think I am slowly improving over time

Left hand

@evertheblue , building the core muscles has been really helpful for me. My physio started me on the tack and I find my old WII board really helpful as it shows me where my balance is without having to mirror - follow the arrows :)

I haven't had a formal diagnosis. For those who did (past the formal education stage), did it help? Were you given any coping strategies? Was it just a relief?

Personally I can't justify the cost at the moment. I find threads like this so reassuring and really that's what I'd want from a diagnosis, understanding that I'm not alone in making secret L signals with my hand to work out left from right. Perhaps it is like our secret hand shake?

I’m safer behind a wheel than I am on my own two feet! I’m not great at parking - I can parallel park outside my own house because I do it so often, but find it much harder elsewhere - but otherwise I’m a confident driver who has never had any points and only had one 50:50 accident in 30+ years of driving. I passed my test in a manual but prefer automatics now.

As a pedestrian though, I find life much harder. I’m forever walking into the sides of doorways or misjudge where door handles are. I never learned to swim or ride a bike, I can’t style my own hair and I’m rubbish at anything that involves hitting a ball with a bat - I’m not too bad at catching though, and I can throw bigger balls better than small ones, to the point I was on the school netball team.

I’m a good dancer when freestyling it (have had a few compliments over the years) but struggle with learning structured routines, or remembering exercises in things like Pilates or from the physio. I can tell my left from my right easily but I have to think about clockwise / anticlockwise, and working out which way to move my hands when looking in a mirror is an impossibility, hence the inability to style my own hair! I don’t wear make up these days but when I did I was only ever able to apply it amateurishly at best. Like others, I have to really concentrate on stepping on and off down escalators in particular.

I have no sense of direction whatsoever and can only map-read if I can turn the map to the same direction as I’m heading in. I have no inner picture of how places or roads connect. Some regular routes eventually fall into place but others involve a permanent blind spot where I’m as likely to take a wrong turn as the right one. Before satnav I got lost a lot and although I’m most okay following it when driving, I still struggle to follow my phone directions when walking somewhere new.

I struggle with housework and get overwhelmed easily, especially tasks where before you can do Z you have to do X and Y. (Although not sure if that’s dyspraxia or ADHD.) I can swap hands while ironing though!

I can drive, and I am safe, but I have no sense of direction and can’t remember routes, or follow the line on a satnav. I stay very local.I have great difficulty with sequenced instructions, following recipes, remembering how to use Excel, etc. Any piece of tech takes me months to learn. Our tv has 2 remotes and I can’t make it work.I hate things that are high or fast, just cant cope. I like people but I get exhausted if I’m with others too much. I’m incredibly disorganised, no sense of time, can’t budget. I can’t use a ruler. Tasks take me much longer than other people. And, something that others have touched on. I have to really understand everything about something before I can use it, so I am very slow to learn, but generally good at remembering. Except for sequences.
positives: I am creative, and perceptive.I have lots of ideas. I’ve got better at following things through. I was diagnosed by professionals working with my dyspraxic son. They gave us a tip which has really helped: Approach any task, however small by first making a plan. The 2 last stages of the process are always cleaning up, and then reflection.
I have also found that I get the greatest benefit from persevering with stuff I find difficult. I am a good swimmer, and it keeps me calm and healthy, but man it was so hard for me to learn, took years.

Dyspraxic too! Was diagnosed at about 7
Recognising the two handedness, dinner setting struggles

It took long time to learn to drive but now I regard it as my greatest achievement like others.

I feel like I live in a constant state of chaos, but it's become one of my strengths. I work in a stressful, fast moving job and often get complimented on my ability to work in chaos, and go with the flow. For me, I'm sure that my dyspraxia means that I'm used to not having a plan or not really sequencing that well so cope better with being interrupted etc, plans changing etc

I'm a spreadsheet fiend and have some things like meal plans, cleaning apps that alert me what to clean and when
People are always impressed but really it's because otherwise I'll clean the bathroom every week and never the kitchen and leave food to rot otherwise

I have some sensory things that have always been dyspraxia linked but now am suspecting I'm likely also to fit asd also. It's mostly subtle things but lots of chewing, breaking stuff and cloth preferences.

Often for people they don't notice till I point it out and realise that they are always finding my bank card, noticing my bruises, and have never seen me drink a regular drink.

For me, it's just the norm, and it took my DP time tounderstand I'm not deliberately doing manual tasks badly eg folding , and that I am concentrating as hard as I can etc . We once watched something about dyspraxia and it was eye-opening for them and explained alot.

I work in mental health so find it helps me break things down for patients because I'm used to doing things manually where other people would do them on auto pilot. Eg having systems to help with memory rather than just automatically remembering things like putting bins out, time blindness

As I've worked my way up the career chain my work has been more up to me and more flexible. I'm now more able to plan tasks and do them in whatever order j chose and flit between them as long as I meet deadlines, no one cares that my schedule is allover the place and my desk is messy. The hardest thing for me has been managing other people as I have to make my logic make sense to them, and feel reassuring as a manager so its not enough for me to know I'll get it done they have time believe it to!

The main thing actually I'm monumentally and irredeemably crap at is wrapping presents and folding clothes.

I still wrap presents and tell people it just comes from the heart but gave up on folding years ago

Yes, me, I'm very clumsy, could trip over a hair on a pavement. I have no coordination, it took me years to learn to swim & drive. I'm useless in anything domestic related, you could put me in an empty room & I would end up with it looking like a pig sty.

Thank you OP, for this thread. I have connected with the things said, in a way that has brought me much comfort, so thank you all for sharing.
I am undiagnosed but have suspected I am dyspraxic for around 25 years after watching a programme about it, and it was like seeing my life unfold before me.
I've been feeling a bit down recently about not being able to do quite simple things or do things for pleasure that others seem to do so easily- like arts and crafts type groups or events. The idea feels me with dread as anything I could produce would be like a toddlers handiwork.
Anything I eat ends up down my top. The same for drinks, so I only drink from a water bottle. This also means that I don't knock over and spill it. I avoid hot drinks as they're too dangerous for me.
Stairs are a huge issue. It's ok going up, but coming down they look like they move and I have to hold on to something always.

I'm usually covered in bruises from walking into furniture or doorframes and was constantly told as a child how clumsy I was.

Driving took me a long time but I'm a fairly confidant driver, I'm a nervous passenger though. Because I can't judge speed or distance too well, I always err on the side of caution when joining traffic at junctions or roundabouts but find it terrifying as a passenger when the driver pulls out as I'm convinced we will be hit!
I hate parking and will usually find a space I can drive into, rather than reverse park or parallel park. I have much prefer an automatic and I have a very small car but still struggle to recognise its size and if it will fit in a space.

General tidiness is something that I struggle to achieve but I always feel much calmer when my environments are tidy and calm. I need a constant to do list, I keep it on my phone and add anything to it, the moment I think of it, otherwise it's gone.
I also struggle with auditory processing and can only hear one thing at a time, but wasn't sure if that was a separate issue.

Strengths - not many physical ones for me, but I have great empathy and deeper insight into challenges other people might face. Kindness always.

Yep but I think mine is more associated with my Autism than the Dyspraxia 😅 In work I remember new/infrequent people by what they're wearing as I'll forget them otherwise. It's much easier now that I work from home.

I spill food too. I can only eat at a table, not on my knees, as the rest of my family can. We have a little table and chair in the living room just for me. It was impossible in hospital recently. There was no way I could manage meals with a knife and fork sitting up in bed. I could only ever have sandwiches

My 12 year old is dyspraxic and I have been thinking a lot about driving recently - I’m glad so many of you have been able to!
Our current struggle is hair, she can’t even really manage to put it in a ponytail with a big scrunchie, she has wild curls and it’s an issue when she stays away, her main strategy is just to wear a hat!

I struggle with putting my hair up. I managed a pony tail ok, and after the age of about 30 I managed to do another hairstyle, a very simple one so I did eventually have a choice of two. But I have short hair now, it is much easier

I am still perfectly capable of combing one side twice and missing the other side not at all