Someone is booking restaurants in my name and with my phone number. Is there anything I can do about it?

[You4coffee]

For about the last six weeks, someone has been making large bookings (8-10 people) at restaurants in my name with my phone number and when I don't turn up the restaurant rings me. They have my full name and phone number. And are obviously put out that they've lost a booking.

They seem to be genuine restaurants, all over London. I live in London but don't particularly know any of the areas or individual restaurants.

I wasn't particularly concerned but it seems to be increasing. It was one a week for a while but this week I've had at least one phone call a day.

I can't think of anyone who'd have a vendetta against me but it does feel personal! And I feel bad for these restaurants that are mostly small local businesses rather than large chains.

Had anyone experienced anything like this? Is there anything I can do? There doesn't seem much point in changing my phone number or reporting to anyone?

I totally agree she shouldn’t have to, but it’s the easiest (only) way to put a stop to what is, in effect, a form of stalking.

I’d be more worried than you are although given that it’s a woman, you’re likely not at physical risk. It’s most likely someone that you know and someone who has a grudge/vendetta against you. You may not have ‘done’ anything to her, it’s just that your existence has triggered something in her. My guess is colleague or loose acquaintance or friend of a friend, eg someone that you were once in a group chat with so they have your number but not a close friend. I’d report it to the police - they might escalate things and write things about you online. It’s not something to be ignored.

I don’t want to stir the pot at home, but your husband hasn’t had an affair is he? This sounds like jealousy.

@BusyMummy001 how would changing a number help? You would have to know which of your contacts was making the bookings to know not to give them the new number.

This sounds like the beginning of a really good ITV drama. You’re getting these calls every day?

Maybe one of the restaurants record their calls and would let you listen to the recording to see if you recognise the voice

It's definitely weird, and a bit sinister, hope you get to the bottom of it!

A lot of restaurants now ask for a deposit, even just for 2 people, let alone 8-10. I can’t believe this person keeps getting away with it unless they are paying the deposit which would be bonkers!

Haha, just waiting for OP to come back saying-OMG, didn’t realise a friend was in for my promotion but I got it and found weird txts on Dh phone last night and neighbour thinks I scraped his car - devastated.

The weirdest thing about this is that the OP isn't actually harmed by it. She's weirded out but it doesn't leave her out of pocket or affect her everyday life. It's the restaurants who are getting screwed over, but it's hard to imagine that if anyone had a vendetta against multiple independent restaurants that they'd use the same "fake name" that just happened to be OP's each time.

So the most sinister explanation is that it's a warning shot before the perpetrator starts escalating. Or - more likely imo - it's someone who thinks it's funny doing it as a prank, like a teenager. They may not even be using OP's details because it's OP but because they just have access to them (say if OP has a friend with teenagers and those teenagers randomly picked a number out of mum or dad's contacts.

(Also, yes an increasing number of restaurants charge deposits and text reminders, but the majority still don't, even fairly high end, and I wouldn't expect a small local place to do either.)

Well, you’d issue your number on a gradual basis to only your close and essential contacts, wouldn’t you? Most companies can function with just email, will contact you that way and you can update phone details on an as and when basis, but really only school/doctor/gp are essential.

If the issue continues on the new number then you have a smaller pool of numbers for the police to investigate…

You could go Wagatha Christie style and get a burner phone and give out the number to one or two people a week as your ‘new number’ and see when the calls change to the new number.

Can’t you just change your number?

Changing your phone number has all kinds of knock on effects these days, with multi factor authentication and so on. I'd be very reluctant to ever change mine, and can see why OP doesn't want to.

I think @SoupChicken has the best idea here.

You shouldn't have to change your number and you're right to feel uncomfortable about this. It's not a normal experience and the perpetrator is investing a significant amount time to set this up.

I'd definitely do the burner phone.

Many years ago I worked at an office where a man said he’d put people on mailing lists to wind them up if they’d wronged him.

A few years ago I was bullied at work, by my colleague and her best friend. Her best friend was married to my then DM’s best platonic male friend. I started working with her when she occasionally worked in our office as a temp and she’d try to boss me around and say things like “I wish I was getting a divorce from Bruce” when he was coming to meet us all from work for a drink and she knew I could hear. It then escalated into comments about my looks and about my DM but in the kitchen at work and when I was on my way upstairs to it - so they’d be inside and would stop talking just before I went in but enough so I’d overhear. I reported them both for bullying and we all fell out and DM ended her friendship with them all but I had to work there until I found another job. About the same time I got holiday brochures sent through to where I lived but DM got the same, specific places like Guernsey and Yorkshire. I cancelled them. One day I overheard her speaking (I was in the same room) about going to Guernsey and I just knew it had been her but didn’t want her to know I knew. She’d retired by then but still worked for us occasionally so I switched to an agency and didn’t use her anymore, the agency workers were far better anyway. I still don’t get how people can be so vindictive, I had their address but there’s no way I’d ever do this. It shows a disturbed mind.

Or could you if you have a dual sim, get another number and send that out to all your friends and family pretending it's your new number and see what happens, would that work. Still use your original number for the official stuff and 2FA. Maybe as PP get another phone or have you got an old one you could use.

I almost suggested this LOL

I bet it's someone you know. I wouldn't change my number though, I would go all Coleen Rooney until I figured out who it was by eliminating people one by one!

Might your DCs be doing this for a prank?

I would channel Colleen too.

This is definitely a woman who can't stand you.

The reason why could be completely irrational, or completely valid.

Have you treated someone really shitty/got one over unfairly and were smug about it? Only you can answer this.

Or it's potentially where you've "got" something they believe they should have. The promotion. The lifestyle. Your DH. It might be your sibling because you "got" to be the favourite child.

It's quite unhinged behaviour. You bother them enough to stew on it and invest all this time making numerous bookings. Upsetting and inconveniencing you gives them a kick.

I knew someone who did this, she was having an affair with the DH, and got hold of the wife's number and entered it into a load of telemarketing and car insurance sites. She found it hilarious the wife would now be harassed by cold callers. The wife was the victim of an affair, and had literally done nothing wrong, yet my friend couldn't stand her because she was having to share her man. We're not friends any more.

Someone may fancy your DH, maybe not to his knowledge or maybe he has rebuffed someone.

Plenty of people have grievances against others, but rarely do they do something against them. As my Mother used to say I don’t like the cut of their jib. But only the crackers ones will harass.

Have you googled yourself to check which of your details are available online? I did a personal safety course a few years ago and that was one of the things recommended to do, there are ways to get your details removed just in case that's how someone has got your name and number..could be someone you've met in passing who has decided to do this rather than someone you know. It does sound like a form of harassment so I'd also report to police using their non-emergency form so it's logged.

https://www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/sh/stalking-harassment/protect-yourself-stalking-harassment/

Or their locations spell out a message.

seriously though op, id definitely phone the police. This is malicious as will impact those businesses as well as its impact on you.

I do like the burner phone idea. Have you asked any of the restaurants whether they took an email address when they took the booking?