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Original poster

Friend denies borrowing an item and insists she doesn't have it !

50 replies

bumblebee1000 · 03/04/2024 23:15

I lent a friend a small sander back in August 2023 for a small job, she never used it. Yesterday I asked for it back, I havent seen her since then as was abroad etc...anyway she said she asked her bf [ he is a bit dim and lazy so I doubt he looked much or even at all ] to check as she was out and he cannot find it so told me I am mistaken and I never lent the sander and that I mentioned lending it to someone else...but that was a different tool to a neighbour across the road a year previous...She sent me a message in capitals...."we don't have it, you never lent it to us".....

I have now found a FB thread where I discuss the best sander for the job and I state a day and time that I would take it over to her....Shall I forward screen shots of the thread to help jog her memory or just forget it....we do have another sander the same type...I am pissed off with the abrupt replies and abrasiveness of her replies really ! Also have hardly seen this friend for so long so could just forget about the whole thing and her.

OP posts:
EpicPineapple · 03/04/2024 23:16

Forward her the screenshot.

Ellmau · 03/04/2024 23:17

Forward the e-mail.

But I suspect she or her bf have sold it.

HeddaGarbled · 03/04/2024 23:18

Yes, I’d definitely send your ‘evidence’ under those circumstances.

AtrociousCircumstance · 03/04/2024 23:20

Of course send the evidence. Cheeky bitch.

FUEWC · 03/04/2024 23:20

Forward it and then forget them anyway. A sentimental pearl necklace and a recipe book (that I can’t bloody find a replacement for) went the way of a forgetful friend that I have now written off.

Original poster
bumblebee1000 · 03/04/2024 23:20

Ellmau · 03/04/2024 23:17

Forward the e-mail.

But I suspect she or her bf have sold it.

no wont have sold it, probably slung in the shed full of junk or a cupboard also full of junk...i just know if i went over, i would find it in one of those places !

OP posts:
StarDolphins · 03/04/2024 23:21

I would definitely forward the email with a message saying ‘Please see below, I definitely lent it to you…’

Original poster
bumblebee1000 · 03/04/2024 23:22

AtrociousCircumstance · 03/04/2024 23:20

Of course send the evidence. Cheeky bitch.

yes will do in a week, if it turns up , she will blame the bf...often shouts at him for being useless....she wont have checked the shed herself as i know she never goes anywhere near it.

OP posts:
Quitelikeacatslife · 03/04/2024 23:28

Yes send it to her saying, no need to be shirty, I definitely did lend you it, if you've lost it then fair enough, these things happen but don't take it out on me.

Ellmau · 03/04/2024 23:33

I'm obviously just too cynical :)

Original poster
bumblebee1000 · 03/04/2024 23:38

Ellmau · 03/04/2024 23:33

I'm obviously just too cynical :)

They won't have sold it, the cupboards are rammed with junk as is the shed, am more pissed off with the abrupt responses in capital letters....i am careful with my things and have them all on a shelf in my shed so know that I dont have it !

OP posts:
Spudthespanner · 03/04/2024 23:43

I wouldn't stay friends with someone who spoke to me like that

Original poster
bumblebee1000 · 03/04/2024 23:49

Spudthespanner · 03/04/2024 23:43

I wouldn't stay friends with someone who spoke to me like that

I tend to agree with you, A friend said the same as you.....her first reply was civil, told me i had made a mistake and when i reminded her about the job to be done with the sander and to double check, I received the rude responses...I doubt nobody has actually had a thorough search.

OP posts:
Pinkpinkpink15 · 04/04/2024 00:13

I'd have to send her the messages.

I'd want it back, not because of the cost of it.

shes ruined the relationship now, you don't particularly care if you're not friends anymore, so you have nothing to lose.

Ask her to leave it at a mutual friends WHEN she finds it, IF she's too embarrassed to bring it to yours.

maudelovesharold · 04/04/2024 00:20

Shall I forward screen shots of the thread to help jog her memory

Yes, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself! I would also offer to go and search the shed, because that’s where it probably is, but you just know they can’t be arsed to look properly.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 04/04/2024 00:33

I definitely would after she replied in capitals that she doesn't have it!
She's not a good friend

ageratum1 · 04/04/2024 00:37

Non return of tools lent, especially when time has passed, is extremely common which is why I never lend.

hellywelly3 · 04/04/2024 01:20

So annoying when this happens. We lent our expensive tent to a friend and it took months of asking to get back. He said it was too far to drive to bring back. I said to him it’s the same distance as when you collected it!

Spudthespanner · 04/04/2024 01:54

hellywelly3 · 04/04/2024 01:20

So annoying when this happens. We lent our expensive tent to a friend and it took months of asking to get back. He said it was too far to drive to bring back. I said to him it’s the same distance as when you collected it!

😲

That's disgraceful behaviour. I've never known anyone that cheeky!

NuffSaidSam · 04/04/2024 02:47

I'd just leave it. I don't think you're going to get it back. I doubt your evidence will be enough to convince her she's wrong. Just forget about her. Move on.

Tourmalines · 04/04/2024 03:09

Yes , definitely show her the screen shots. Just not doing anything would seem to her that you did make a mistake. I couldn’t let this go after her rude text . You have lost nothing even if you don’t get it back because she seems a CF.

Oblomov24 · 04/04/2024 05:25

Why are you friends with her?
Why are you lending stuff to such unreliable people?

Stop both!

daisychain01 · 04/04/2024 07:32

They won't have sold it, the cupboards are rammed with junk as is the shed

yes, but your sander was not a piece of junk, it was an item that has a value so they probably sold it on Gumtree or Fb Marketplace.

Id write it off and not lend out your tools/household DIY items because they are the first things that 'go walkies'.

and ditch the frenemy.

CoraPirbright · 04/04/2024 08:04

Def send the screenshots but I highly doubt you will get it back. They have been rude and will probably not want it highlighted that they are in the wrong. What unpleasant people!

YankeeDad · 04/04/2024 08:14

I agree with PPs who spoke about sending the Facebook thread, especially if you want some chance of getting it back, but I would suggest to frame it very kindly, eg “I know it has been quite a while and so it’s easy to forget these things, but since I did find this old Facebook thread, would you mind having another look”? Or even “Shall I come over to help you look for it and then we can have a drink together” ?

Of course, this is all about getting your sander back, and nothing else. I agree with other PPs that unless this is an otherwise treasured friend who is only flaky in this one respect, once you have either succeeded in getting back your sander or have given up - lose the friend! She sounds more abrasive than a sander…