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Original poster

Friend denies borrowing an item and insists she doesn't have it !

50 replies

bumblebee1000 · 03/04/2024 23:15

I lent a friend a small sander back in August 2023 for a small job, she never used it. Yesterday I asked for it back, I havent seen her since then as was abroad etc...anyway she said she asked her bf [ he is a bit dim and lazy so I doubt he looked much or even at all ] to check as she was out and he cannot find it so told me I am mistaken and I never lent the sander and that I mentioned lending it to someone else...but that was a different tool to a neighbour across the road a year previous...She sent me a message in capitals...."we don't have it, you never lent it to us".....

I have now found a FB thread where I discuss the best sander for the job and I state a day and time that I would take it over to her....Shall I forward screen shots of the thread to help jog her memory or just forget it....we do have another sander the same type...I am pissed off with the abrupt replies and abrasiveness of her replies really ! Also have hardly seen this friend for so long so could just forget about the whole thing and her.

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 04/04/2024 08:47

She's probably forgotten.

A friend of mine lent me some ladders about 5 years ago.

I completely forgot I had them so, when I moved house a couple of years ago, i messged her to tell her I still had them. She told me that she'd remembered lending them to someome but not who and had replaced them so I could keep them!

People do just forget. I'd send the screenshot. It might just jog her memory.

starfishmummy · 04/04/2024 10:16

Maybe they've broken it.

We lent a drill to a neighbour. Heard him drilling. He returned it a couple of days later and said it had been broken when we lent it him.

Of course he could have been right and we'd heard him using someone else's drill but why not return ours straight away if that was the case?

PotatoPudding · 04/04/2024 10:17

Send the screenshot

IncompleteSenten · 04/04/2024 10:18

bumblebee1000 · 03/04/2024 23:22

yes will do in a week, if it turns up , she will blame the bf...often shouts at him for being useless....she wont have checked the shed herself as i know she never goes anywhere near it.

Show quote history

Why wait a week? Just send it over.

waitingforthedrain · 04/04/2024 12:04

Why in a week?
Donut now. She needs called up on this

NWQM · 04/04/2024 12:07

hellywelly3 · 04/04/2024 01:20

So annoying when this happens. We lent our expensive tent to a friend and it took months of asking to get back. He said it was too far to drive to bring back. I said to him it’s the same distance as when you collected it!

That's truly shocking.

NWQM · 04/04/2024 12:10

bumblebee1000 · 03/04/2024 23:22

yes will do in a week, if it turns up , she will blame the bf...often shouts at him for being useless....she wont have checked the shed herself as i know she never goes anywhere near it.

Show quote history

I wouldn't wait a week. Nothing suggests that she is looking for it. I would just have to send a 'sweet' message with the screen shots and asking her to look. I would be quoting the replacement price......'Sorry but could you look again please? It's X to replace and here is the conversation where we discussed you borrowing it. I am sure you did and happy to think you have forgotten but do not appreciate the tone of the messages. Hopefully we can sort this all out. ' I wouldn't let her know I was fuming but you have - I hope - learnt the measure of this friendship!

user1471538283 · 04/04/2024 12:10

I'd send her the messages and chase it down. She's been rude to you so that will finish the friendship anyway. Who does she think she is to speak to you like that?

mamacorn1 · 04/04/2024 12:13

Forward the evidence and say please check again for it. Then ask for the sander back with a bloody apology!

Soubriquet · 04/04/2024 12:18

Just send the evidence now. Don’t dilly around waiting a week

slippedonabanana · 04/04/2024 14:01

Send the screenshot but I'd be done with her for her rude response in capital letters.

Original poster
bumblebee1000 · 04/04/2024 14:32

maudelovesharold · 04/04/2024 00:20

Shall I forward screen shots of the thread to help jog her memory

Yes, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself! I would also offer to go and search the shed, because that’s where it probably is, but you just know they can’t be arsed to look properly.

I do need to go at some point to collect a plant so that is my plan, offer to check shed myself. If i find my item i will then cut contact due to the rudeness etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
bumblebee1000 · 04/04/2024 14:34

NWQM · 04/04/2024 12:10

I wouldn't wait a week. Nothing suggests that she is looking for it. I would just have to send a 'sweet' message with the screen shots and asking her to look. I would be quoting the replacement price......'Sorry but could you look again please? It's X to replace and here is the conversation where we discussed you borrowing it. I am sure you did and happy to think you have forgotten but do not appreciate the tone of the messages. Hopefully we can sort this all out. ' I wouldn't let her know I was fuming but you have - I hope - learnt the measure of this friendship!

Show quote history

I agree. She is going away for a week or so but we have arranged for me to collect a plant so i will search whilst there....i will say i will check shed as she never goes into it etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
bumblebee1000 · 04/04/2024 14:35

starfishmummy · 04/04/2024 10:16

Maybe they've broken it.

We lent a drill to a neighbour. Heard him drilling. He returned it a couple of days later and said it had been broken when we lent it him.

Of course he could have been right and we'd heard him using someone else's drill but why not return ours straight away if that was the case?

no. it hasn't been used as she told me the job still hadnt been attended to.

OP posts:
Original poster
bumblebee1000 · 04/04/2024 14:37

maudelovesharold · 04/04/2024 00:20

Shall I forward screen shots of the thread to help jog her memory

Yes, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself! I would also offer to go and search the shed, because that’s where it probably is, but you just know they can’t be arsed to look properly.

yes this is my plan as she has a plant i need to collect, she is away for about a week so will offer to search when i go for the plant. Am so annoyed with the abrasive messages, so once settled i wont bother anymore. I rarely lend items to anyone. lesson learnt.

OP posts:
FayCarew · 04/04/2024 14:43

Same as I posted on here. If you lend something, you probably won't get it back.
Page 3 | To think they should still replace it... | Mumsnet

Original poster
bumblebee1000 · 20/07/2024 14:26

Update:......I have the sander back !!...she had a new light fitted to her bathroom and electrician needed to see the fuse box so she had to clear the cupboard and found my sander...sent me a pic and an apology...I collected it, didn't hang around...she then said she still needed it so I said we need it for a long period as have lots of things to sand...the dim bf will never get round to the job she needs the machine for so I won't be lending it again....I won't be lending items again to anyone...maybe only my sister.

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 20/07/2024 14:30

She still needed it! The bloody cheek of her. 🤣

YankeeDad · 20/07/2024 17:37

bumblebee1000 · 04/04/2024 14:37

yes this is my plan as she has a plant i need to collect, she is away for about a week so will offer to search when i go for the plant. Am so annoyed with the abrasive messages, so once settled i wont bother anymore. I rarely lend items to anyone. lesson learnt.

Show quote history

This is missing the point but seeing as how you have your sander back now, is it not punny that your friend was sending abrasive messages about a sander ?

Original poster
bumblebee1000 · 20/07/2024 19:18

IncompleteSenten · 20/07/2024 14:30

She still needed it! The bloody cheek of her. 🤣

she had months to do the job.....as she delegated it to the dim bf, it wont ever get done so not lending it out again !

OP posts:
Caroparo52 · 09/09/2024 12:25

Move on. Shes lost it. From now on no lending anything to anyone.

BlastedPimples · 09/09/2024 13:29

Why wait? Send her the evidence.

BlastedPimples · 09/09/2024 13:29

Sorry. Just saw your update. She's no friend though op!

Elderflower14 · 09/09/2024 14:11

Zombie thread!!

BringMeTea · 09/09/2024 14:12

Thanks for updating OP. She's a piece of work eh?

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